twitter is fyad. facebook is gbs. bluesky is byob. threads is the front page EMT: he's got a pulse, no response otherwise though

ME: Sim Tower. CHOTINER: Sure. ME: Yoot Tower. CHOTINER: Not sure you understand this posting format. ME: Yeah. Seems real popular right now? Yoot Tower, though. CHOTINER: [slot machine dinging and celebrating noises] Yoot Tower ME: Yoot Tower

they smoke loud, don't they?

what if instead of the long walk it was called the bong walk and if you stop taking rips when the bong gets passed around you die

is there like a single to double digit number of people who think the rapture is tomorrow and the number of people making fun of it is like 1000x that or am i missing something

Decided to take a few minutes to save myself a few hours. No more sitting in the car holding up orders so that I can write out the same text 30 times a day.

i was starting to get worried that taylor swift would go a full calendar year without creating additional ways to make a lot more money. thank god. go support queer cinema and see her new thing, she is starving to death without our help

the government is trying to distract you from Hawk Tuah

due to a red line crossing through where i live i will simply walk along the red line which will allow me access to all regions

got my covid shot immediately like it was a limited time merch drop with RFK in office

It's their long history with scurvy

the british people on bake off like the combination of chocolate and orange too much. it's been a long standing issue and it should be dealt with

perspn who didn't know who charlie kirk was 3 days ago: he was always a beacon of hope and reason,

i have decided that mr. bean did the shooting but did not mean to

a woman near me at the conner o'malley show clearly didn't know who he was based on her reactions & i can't imagine what that must have felt like. like getting a 4D brain massage

this guy was the chief strategist for the 2004 bush/cheney campaign but he is now too Woke for msnbc

i'm at the intersection of 'cool' and 'uh-oh"

RFK: (like you pitch shifted a 56k modem down) We had an acceptable amount of cannibalism when I was a child. We would regularly go to school and cut off our fingers to serve to each other. It only became an issue in the 90s, with SSRIs.

hi everyone! unfortunately back to post my paypal because i'm going through a really rough patch now that i'm unemployed and i need to pay some bills. any help will be welcome 🙌🥺 paypal.me/friedgoldara

Everything is horrifically evil and stupid. The best you can hope for, the highest ambition, is to make a popular post wittily pointing out how evil and stupid things are. People will cite it for years as things continue being horrifically evil and stupid.

china needs to invade us so bad we need help

i don't know anything, sorry. this is just a general answer in case you wanted to ask me something

(guy who thinks that female body inspector was a real job) does anyone else remember when guys would wear shirts that just said what their job was on it

new blood orange >>>>>>>

monthly 5x5, funny to see NIN and deftones and SOAD touching. it's still 1998

evil trent reznor: god is real and everyone cares, there is a heaven, see you there!

i'm giving myself 24 hours to be a lib if it happens

i feel incapable of posting about anything that actually matters a lot because i think whatever the ceiling is on posting's usefulness in a political context has not only been reached but has been repeatedly hit over & over

it feels like detective pikachu would be a good punchline but i can't think of a joke setup that makes sense & i don't remember the movie. 'edible has me moving like detective pikachu' has the cadence of a funny joke but what would that even mean. welcome to cal50's joke corner

the (very short) list of things america is right about: -the music of robbie williams sucks -air conditioning is nice -ice cubes are good to have

not sure what it is that makes everyone depressed & stressed out living in Everything Gets Worse All The Time & You Can't Do Anything Meaningful To Stop It world. could be worse.

hi, i don't really love doing this but i'm in a bit of financial trouble and as some of you know i got fired recently and i need some help to finish off the month and feed my cats, even the smallest help will do, i appreciate it in advance 🙌 paypal.me/friedgoldara

nothing makes me feel more like an edgy teen than people caring about taylor swift's happiness. you care about a billionaire's happiness? you're stupid! you don't have to care that i think you're stupid, but i do think you're stupid

it would be fun if the gov't is crashing the dollar on purpose with the intent to make some type of gov't owned crypto currency a new standard or something. just kidding, that would not be fun. i love to joke

does anyone have any good ideas

everybody hates my ass on blue sky. everybody's out to get me

was doing some thinking earlier - i don't want to be shot with a gun or stabbed

i've seen like 10 movies that josh brolin is in but any time someone refers to josh brolin i have to search him to remember what he looks like. i think i have minor faceblindness but he still might have a top 5 most forgettable generically handsome actor face

the PS5 is the only consumer device that gets mad at you when your power cuts out

i simply would have won the events of "they shoot horses, don't they?" (1969)

it's less of a hate or dislike than indifference to, but the everything about me suggests that i should love built to spill but it just passes through my ears and i feel nothing

gas leaks make you smarter by opening up new passage ways in your brain and improving the besides the aftering

i'm cal50

every time i see a quote from anthony bourdain it sounds just kinda like he's always just saying "food....it's good to eat". and i agree with the sentiment i guess

my a/c has been broken for 3 weeks and i feel like i am 'losing my mind'

my posts did better on twitter but i'm stuck here

seltzer is a prank on me personally. everyone likes the fruitfart water that tastes bad and they buy it at the store

this is such a good headline

the amount of times that i as a grown man have been forced to hear about whatever south park is doing

no art is above critique except for grave of the fireflies, if you hate that movie you're a dickhead