depressed government whistleblower who drives a shitty car: i just want to let everyone know that i am suicidal, the brakes on my car don't work,

fake onion headline inspired by a real life event today: Angry Man At Post Office Created Own Problems

i need help paying rent, bills and repairs in my apartment while i'm searching for a job and any help (donation/sharing) will do. thanks once again to @cal50.bsky.social for setting up this GFM link. any help is welcome! 🥺🙏 gofund.me/7edf9b1bc

@arakubrick.bsky.social is facing a tough time after losing her job and struggling with rent and repairs, i'm trying to raise just a few hundred $ for her as fast as possible. please share if you can and thank you so much gofund.me/bede3dd54

the first people who ever popularized 'it's not just an X, it's Y' in ad copy / AI writing / whatever should all be lined up and shot in the face

HELP FOR SOMEONE KIDNAPPED BY ICE! Oliver Aguillon is the nephew of one of my mom's friends, and his family is raising funds to help fight for his freedom. Please consider making a donation! If you can't, hit repost and/or share with comrades by email/text. Thank you!

hi, hate coming here just for this but i'm still in the search for a job (which has been extremely difficult) and at the moment i can't afford groceries or bills. any help would be extremely appreciated. paypal.me/friedgoldara

the fact that nobody in the room audibly instinctively laughed in a 'can't control their reaction' way bothers me here

so excited for this one. do we think jelly roll is a stalinist or more of a trotsky guy.

It just hit me that Justin Bieber inviting lil b to pop up on his album called Swag was like a land acknowledgement for the word swag

there are too many people on this site who think we can vote our way out of this

i pissed off lowtax once which i think makes me a revolutionary

hey big dog can you loop me in on the sex crime-iest day

i got it. it's Hamburger

a nationwide strike is gonna take a lot more than a week's notice and 'don't shop on this date'

This is the GM firing an assistant coach and hoping that will be the end of the questions, except with fascism.

everyone tells you to let your faucets leak when it's below freezing but nobody tells you to let your bidet spray everywhere too

i'm ordering doordash from places called Frumpy's Tacos and i'm getting them with extra Slut Sauce and i'm tipping 0%

just did this:

dumbest man that people think is on our side

they're executing moms and nurses in the street. they're using preschoolers as bait. they're stealing people's dads and grandmas and children. they're tear gassing babies. they're staking out schools. there is no remedy but abolition. any proposal that doesn't start there is an act of violence.

Gotcha—let’s dig into that step by step. 1. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗵, because I turned you into an amorphous lump of flesh. You’re not just immobile—you’re immortal, and you feel only anguish. 2. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗺. That makes total sense—it’s a natural human impulse, and you’ve been through a lot.

lol

*sticking hand in a liberal's back and making them talk like a puppet, mockingly* the democrats are an opposition party and they will fight for me

Help Nurse Hammam and his family in Gaza chuffed.org/project/1580...

any time you make your doctor laugh you should earn LaughPointz that you can then exchange for deductions in your co-pay

even when someone else misreads social cues in a way that affects me it still feels like it's my fault somehow. i miss when there were fewer autistic people (like me, don't yell at me)

the path of least resistance gets a bad rap. there's like no resistance, it's awesome

made a playlist of some of my favorite songs of last year. it is on tidal though. so uh. to the 3 people who have it, here ya go! tidal.com/playlist/f55...

funniest joke of 2026

It's very clear from the commentary exploding on the timeline right now that hardly anyone outside Chicago knows ICE shot and killed a man in his car here in the fall. It's probably not your fault—too much news. But if you're choosing to jump in & *report* today, please contextualize. Thanks.

if you want to feel despair, go google 'is it 2027 next year' right now

ikea has gotta be a top 1 worst shopping experience. i think i'd prefer being chased around a pitch black costco by angry gremlins with flashlights to walking around the ikea maze

don't worry you guys, we have an opposition party called the democrats that are going to raise hell about this. now to sip my coffee,

I hate geopolitical events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

if i get to be a mayor i'm going to get sworn in on a piece of paper with the Soulseek logo printed on it

i watched a lot of movies this year and the best one out of all of them is probably all that jazz. so if you haven't, go watch all that jazz

i'm santa. Just kidding i'm not. I hope that this post made you smile.

ok time for some image rehab. i think trump should go back on SNL and do another funny dance

sponge bob

i know there's more important things in our way but i think we can't advance as a society until we admit that audioslave had bangers

i never feel less like the main character of reality than when i have 'rudolph the red-nosed reindeer' stuck in my head. i am an actual NPC and that's ok

@sonemic.com rateyourmusic.com/release/albu... #RYMbestof2025

remember when everyone would say aspergers instead of autism

this is correct, unfortunately. but since all the video-based sites just feel like my phone is non-stop screaming at me i will spend most of my time on the text parts

20 minutes into one of the worst movies i've ever seen & can't decide whether or not to push on through the hate-watch (christmas with the kranks)

people posting about the game awards are reminding me that i only played one new video game this entire year, and it was tony hawk 3+4. in 2024 the only new thing i played was balatro. i am looking forward to seeing what single video game i choose to play next year

the problem with the 'half your age plus 7' rule is that if you're a 4 year old, that puts you with a 9 year old. not a good match!

made a top 30 aoty list this morning because why not. i'm not confident about the ordering past 10, just went on vibes. i did have a top 120-ish and then whittled it down to 30 though. weird year