I had the pleasure of being a player on the best reality game show in the world! Am I Faithful or a Traitor? Will I be more like Hercule Poirot or Inspector Clouseau? You'll have to watch to find out. Series 3 of #TheTraitorsNZ starts Sunday May 31 on Three and ThreeNow

Film you've watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Star Trek, Star Wars, LOTR, Marvel, Disney, or Ghibli.

Longroom in Ponsonby is hosting a game of two up for Anzac Day. What, are you mental? Haven't you people seen Wake in Fright? You'll lose all your money and wake up next to Donald Pleasance.

My wife had an altercation with a cop who threatened to give her a ticket for being two seconds late crossing the road. I love that I have a wife who will tell a dickhead cop to get fucked, and that we live in a country where said cop can get pissy at his authority being defied but can't shoot her.

WW2 was horrible, sure. But imagine how much worse it might have been if Hitler's Wehrmacht hadn't had the foresight to preemptively defend themselves against the threat of Czechoslovakia and Poland.

Me when the cat from next door visits:

What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal?

Guess what movie we watched for Valentimes.

The sad thing is that James Van Der Beek - famously - didn't want to wait for his life to be over. If cancer had to take someone, it should have been Katie Holmes. Or Michelle Williams. Or that bloke who played Pacey.

Evidently TPUSA have their own alternative Super Bowl half-time show this year, presumably to protest the real one being too woke. So if you're keen to see proper 'All-American' artists such as Grice Greeby, Cantley Dangle, Fat Whiteguy and Baggy Daggett, they've got you covered.

Catherine O'Hara? No! 71 is still just a bébé.

Did I mention that I saw Joan Jett and Iggy Pop last night? Amazing. (Zed and Boh Runga were pretty good too.)

Yesterday a lady at work asked if I had ever played D&D. I managed to not say that I remember when Poison, Paralysis and Death Magic was its own saving throw and I know how to calculate THAC0, and instead just answered in Common (ie I just said, 'Yes, I have.')

I can believe Officer McShootyFace might have whacked his shin on the bumper and got a nasty bruise, which technically counts as 'internal bleeding'. But anything more serious than that? Fuck right off. We're not idiots.

Introduce yourself with: 1 movie 1 book 1 TV show 1 album (Did I do it right?)

LOL #TheTraitors Also this:

I didn't do too badly with reviewing most of what I watched in 2025, but I probably need to rein in the 5-star ratings a little bit. #Letterboxd

Queen, Queen Caroline Washed her hair in turpentine Turpentine to make it shine Free, free Palestine

Suck my fat one, you cheap dime store hood.

I was just thinking about maybe rewatching Stand By Me, or This Is Spinal Tap or The Princess Bride. Decided there's no need because I've seen them all so many times already, then just got really, really sad instead.

I've never been prime minister so I don't know - is it a good sign when journalists start directly asking you if you're about to be rolled? Asking for a friend* *thumb-headed gormless pillock

Ponsonby Rd celeb sighting - who tf would wear a red 'MAKE HLAH GREAT AGAIN' cap? Booga Beazley, obviously.

I haven't been following the news super closely, but is there something about Trump being a West Ham supporter?

Antivaxers are pretty hilarious. It's like if RFK announced that cancer was caused by werewolves (he might) and most of us were horrified because that's insane bullshit, but one small group were flipping out because he didn't say cancer is caused by vampires.

This is great. Do please watch it.

I got up for this, for the benefit of those who want to watch with captions on. Go the Ferns!

Damn, I left the game before I had a chance to ask Chris how he feels about having Big Ange as his new gaffer.

Does Aotearoa have the most (per capita) films about taking the kids and going bush (armed showdowns with police optional)?

Does anyone else have the unsettling feeling that one day soonish we're all going to realise, hey, the second US Civil War started, like, six months ago, but so incrementally that we didn't know to call it what it was?

Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?

So let me get this straight. We invite the FBI boss to Wellington to open an office. He then says he'll use it to spy on our top export buyer, China, who is then as pissed as. Then Trump HIKES our tariff to 15% from 10%, making us less competitive vs Australia's beef/wine exports to US - still 10%.🤷‍♂️

I'm a big believer in "living your life in a way that doesn't result in widespread celebration when you die"-amania.

OH MY GOD 💀

Ozzy Osbourne visited my magic shop. He said he'd like to buy some stink bombs. How many? All of them. I had to go through drawers finding every last one. He bought 900 of them. To sign the credit card slip I handed him a shock pen, which he thought was hilarious and bought that too. RIP

I hate hard coded captions on videos. Hate them. Not because they're there but because they are usually totally wrong. I can't not read them. I have to watch videos with my hand over the screen so I don't get distracted. Utter garbage.

US RWNJs today: "James Gunn must be jailed until he admits that Superman was born in America, like Jesus."

You think YOU'RE excited about Zorhan winning the primary? I'VE been a fan since he danced with a snake in Blade Runner.

First they came for the punctuation and I said sweet an excuse to be lazy then they came for the capital letters and i said hey fellow kids check it out i'm fitting in thn thy cm fr th vwls nd i sd hy gys i thnk ths mght b a stp 2 fr bt thy wr lk 2 bd dckhd u jmpd n ths mthfckr 2 lt 2 gt ff nw

One of the questions in the Tuning Fork music quiz yonight was 'What is this singer's first name?' The theme of the round was 'Brown' and the song was I Got You. Yes, reader, I did in fact get that question correct.

I hope they do something cool with this great building. I can see it out of my bedroom window.

Poor Charles looking at the #NoKings marches. He was really hoping this might be the year he finally gets to go to Disneyland. 😭

If we all just declare him Prime Minister, there's nothing they can do about it.

Being told to "shut up you dickhead" by Don McGlashan is literally the worst thing that can happen to you as a New Zealander

Faith would like to be Tim Brooke-Taylor, but she's really Bill Oddie. I would like to be Graeme Garden, but I am also Bill Oddie. That's why we're happily married. Find your Goodies match, people.

Calling it now - the Potter TV series will be a massive flop. The Venn-diagram segment of normies who A) aren't woke enough to care that JK is a bigot, but B) aren't also so racist they piss their pants that Snape is Black just can't be big enough to cover $180M per episode.

Google's AI overview thinks it's so smart. But I'm not convinced it knows what it's talking about. They're so similar!

For me the highlight of budget day was hearing Marama Davidson coining the new term (at least to my knowledge) 'mimi-down economics'.

Dammit, people! Your genie wishes have to be specific about WHICH president. This is basic stuff! 😡🧞

The “get rid of red tape” pitch for the Regulatory Standards Bill is ridiculous. This coalition has stopped more major projects in their tracks than any other. Dunedin Hospital, ferries, many many building projects. Don’t be fooled, they don’t want us to have things, it’s not about that.

In April 1840, Ngāpuhi led by Te Haratau performed a haka at the trial of Kihi for murder of a settler. The magistrate, Willoughby Shortland, got the shits and sent for troops. Edward Williams explained that the haka was to express outrage that Kihi had killed someone under Te Haratau's protection.