The last time he said this I was T-boned so hard I got knocked out. Everyone join hands let’s pray I live

When I put a curse on oomf and she crashed her car off a bridge and was like I don't care

Half way through my 9 hour shift...

Serial mom Bluray expensive as hell wtf

Bookmarks on my puter but not on my phone

Fuck my fat faggot life

Got my driving license

2tb drive in my Xbox 360 is now... My greed is insatiable

Fat white villager trade

Got the position I actually applied for (I was on work experience before)

Feeling mysterious and lost rn so I’m farting in the dark and watching YouTube

I'm shook

Coworker asked if I was still in school oh I'm baby

I love my wife

Called in sick

had a dream that i saw clairo on the street singing to a few people and she looked pissed asf when i tried to take a picture from down the street

Taking my break in the last hour of work so it feels like I left work early

Finished my first shift in 2 years

I'm twink

Almost got the Isabella lovestory vinyl but 70 dollars to ship to Australia...

Watching resident evil afterlife... This feels like a Taylor Swift reputation era music video

Cooking chicken and rice with hard boiled eggs for the 1000th time

i love jane fonda (watching barbarella)

Hungry

Grass on my nunu nana

Employed era, kind of

Getting Chinese food again

Elton John fart

i thought the chicken was lovely

Got chinese food again

You are all full of sin...

I'm eating

watching xmen 2

playing mario kart 7 on my modded 3ds online and getting absolutely rekt :(

Perfect Blue is such a good movie gonna force mans to watch it w me again asap (also the substance)

Can't get Nintendo DS ROM forwarder that lets me have over 30 games for my 3ds to work

Got fat shamed by my parents

parents chopped down the hedge on the front lawn so they can make a shitty diy wire fence and getting annoyed at me for saying thats a stupid idea

thinking about when oomf accidentally got stuck driving through the middle of a marathon...

Didn't get an automatic fail but did screw up a parallel park but waiting for results now

At driving test now so anxious oughh

Did my first successful reverse parallel park the day before my second driving test lets hope I don't need to do another

I boil da water

Was gonna boil an egg to go with my lunch but I dropped it from too high and now I have egg goop swirling around the water...

theres a bear in where?

cant find reece witherspoon video of her talking about adobo and lumpia and filipino... elp

Back to the future watchings