Why did shows in the early-late 2000’s dress the girls up so cunty? I couldn’t wear high heels in highschool and I think that’s very unfair

When I play that Legends ZA dlc tn and get my Golisopod, yall are not hearing the end of it

The concept of me on tinder in the oil change line looking for trade when they’re next to me rn

I’m gonna twist your bush when I say this but,,, I ate up my quarterly review and they think I’m boosting ratings!!

Just remembered a guest said that I was being too nice to her and asked what I was doing later or if I had a crush on her. I miss that diva. Goodnight

You better not be floating when I get there! Me af

Umm I was bit by a shark…

Looking at oomfs thirst traps over company WiFi

If they’re called sesame seeds then are they magic? Cause like open sesame….

Charli xcx’s ‘BRAT’ is the first female album since Lady Gaga’s ‘The Fame’ to rank #1 on Billboard’s Year-End Top Dance Albums chart in back-to-back years.

Oh bitch it’s too cold

I think I lowkey have seasonal depression

Getting clocked too much tonight. I’m gonna buy a phone case

I heart deleting my posts

I’m gonna squeeze my big hairy tits when I say this. Butttttt

you know i ride for you, faggot 🫶🏳️‍🌈

What do y’all think I smell like?

Whales sharks 🦈🫧 #art #sharks

For all of these gay shows about sports I really want to get back to the formula of a tortured gay nerd again!! #bookwormgay

Found the Choke Enough Oklou pottery yesterday

Just lowballed this whatnot stream and got a free giveaway. Goodnight little gay people 🩵

Wait it’s kinda mad brick outside dude…

How’d I do on my replay? What’re the vibes?

I used to pray for times like these! Teen Wolf is back!!

What y’all know about the stages of creaming?

Guest called me by nonbinary pronouns earlier and my he/they card felt so validated

Found several oomfs here…

Brothers snoring sounds like a granite block being dragged across concrete up a hill (let me sleep)

Not my supervisor adjacent just saying that birds probably use Grindr… babe you’re straight right??

Meet me behind the stingray pool in 2 minutes 🥸

Friend: “I’m not a twink, I’m normal”

I love being a strange little man

Spongefag, big bottom, tight pants okay

“I think you like the ocean” said the lady in the toy store. Omg how’d you know??🦈✨🩵🌊🪼

Why’s everyone naked on the skyline?? Did I miss something?

POV: we’re telling you about the microplastics in your brain 🦑⛈️♻️

I’ve had a full body ache today and I think it’s because the Doc Martins/Marc Jacobs shoes are sold out ☹️

Finally got my first google review and it was five stars!! They said my love for my job was infectious ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

One like and I’ll redownload tinder

Is my heavy rotation mix giving or what?

Y’all don’t fw me fr. Cause I woke up in a heatwave and everyone is gone

Lowkey think my supervisor caught me looking at a guys print on my phone earlier. And that’s why you should mind your business

#me too

So educators aren’t considered professionals anymore?? Oh okay then fuck my drag

Today was fawking disgusting and annoying

Tw visuals: he pulled it apart like monkey bread ngl

Witnessed a man scratch his ass in the Trader Joes oat milk section. I think I love him. Then we proceeded to follow each other all over

Coworker asked me my type and then I proceeded to indirectly explain him… and he was visibly surprised and now I can’t stop thinking about it 🥸— fuck my chungus life

When oomfs change their pfp I become blind to them for a day or two