Can someone tell @stephenking.bsky.social that we've got a seat saved for him at the last PET CEMETERY WITH A C THE MUSICAL show? Usually he responds when I call his pager. He must be traveling.

Trying to get people to understand this has made up the past 5 or so years of my career. It's exhausting

Conan O’Brien Found a Friend.

Canada's egg prices are much lower than America's thanks to stricter food and animal welfare rules. Meanwhile, in the US, our administration is getting rid of committees like the National Advisory Committee on Meat and Poultry Inspection.

The moment I see the words "healing" and "power" next to each other my brain just shuts down.

We're five years away from the 2030s, which seems made up. It's the made up science fiction times. It's the future and we've got nothing cool to show for it yet.

Not sure this was worthy of a push notification, but NYT was clearly excited to be able to send it.

The thing that really sucks about the Gavin Newsom podcast thing where he repeatedly threw trans people under the bus is that it's all so calculated. He clearly went into it with the intention of saying something that would result in news stories being written about it.

Coworker posted this test headshot of me with the caption "YOU BOIZ LIKE THIN LIZZY???"

Lived with an annoying "broken" toilet for a year. Upon further inspection, I just needed to tighten a single screw...

Tried to get into the L station with my work ID to the dismay of everyone behind me. Unrelated: forgot to take my pills today.

And anytime they do, it's views like, "trans people wanting to be treated like human beings" or "you shouldn't lose your life savings to get healthcare" that they're complaining about.

Funny how people never say what they mean by "extreme left."

Wrote about why The Substance is trans and Emilia Perez isn't for Vanity Fair. Also argued that Woodworking (a novel by Emily St. James, out Tuesday) is basically The Substance. Who is my Substance shadow self? It's Sabrina Carpenter. Thanks for asking. www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/st...

I like when I'm on a clothing site and there's a button that reads "shop all men" ... like, yes, let's.

Hey Chicago, here's a dumb nonsense thing to go to on Saturday. I produce a variety show called movie club. This one's got a good lineup. Plus Eli Tea Bar is cool. www.instagram.com/p/DGgj6h-vbW...

🌞 Choose Your Side 🌝 New Meg Mag just dropped. meganmaganzine.substack.com/p/early-bird...

You ever smell someone's BO and get uncomfortable with how much you like it? Not in a "you got good pheromones" way but in a "your sweat smells like pizza and now I'm hungry" way.

This seems like a joke but this is truly the vibe of Moby Dick.

Herman Melville's "Moby Dick" has perhaps the most memorable opening line in all of Western literature: "I hope you motherfuckers like reading about whales"

My soul exiting my body

That's one way to drive employees away without having to deal with layoffs. This obviously isn't about "collaborating and brainstorming." All these CEOs are wretched cowards.

he looks like the two banshees of inisherin guys combined

Had a dream I was a first year cadet in Fourth Wing and it was parents weekend and all the parents were flabbergasted at the violence lol.

To quote Daryl Hall, "smiule."

Why: LEFTISTS WHO DIDN'T VOTE FOR KAMALA ARE TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING!! When: Voter suppression/rescinding mail-in voting/proof of citizenship/and an unprecedented number of other voting laws had the most quantifiable negative effect.

A few hundred people now gathered in Federal Plaza in Chicago to protest the Trump/Musk coup

Cats like the new (to me) chairs.

"If you're cold, they're cold, let them inside - but NOT THAT GUY. NOT THAT GUY!!!" - my boss

don't even talk to me unless you're an AI named Bob

I accidentally pressed something in Spotify today that caused a "cool" AI voice to address me BY NAME as it made music recommendations and I panicked and had to force quit out of it. I do NOT take music recommendations from other men, ESPECIALLY AI men.

Always have a hard time not spelling "sqaure" wrong, which is unfortunate because I type "square feet" for work about a million times a week.

Doom scrolling on blue sky just don't feel doomy enough.

lmao these kids I'm talking to at the bars are paying cold hard cash to get gray (bleached) streaks while I'm saving money letting time do its work.

A train passed by and he disappeared.

"People are aroused," Chuck Schumer says. "I haven't seen people aroused in a very, very long time...I think democracy will have an effect."

Saw an inaccurate meme about Lord of the Rings and now my whole afternoon is potentially derailed.

Standard "This will be fought in court, and we should not assume it will be implemented as written, especially because there are a lot of vagaries as written (as Erin points out)" aside: Fuck everyone who built the road to this point.

around 19 is when i was turned down for hrt (early 2000s) it took me until 43 to actually get there i cannot describe the feeling of finally accessing necessary medical care after being turned away, closeted, having to go thru re-emerging and re-becoming

Getting the word out works to slow the machine. All hail the pamphleteers.

Next tattoo is going to be a leggy sparrowhawk

Would love to understand why every Democrat is not out there every second of the day explaining in plain English that Donald Trump has declared war on cancer patients.

This explains why my last several orders have been cancelled

After 10 months my ex's Spotify remains connected to my speaker 😈

Half my friends have babies and it's super funny when I complain to them that *I* slept bad the night before.

Local Man Celebrates 38th Birthday by Terrorizing Neighborhood Cats

Nieces got me a cool t-shirt.

Bit nippy