What do you MEAN tomorrow is OCTOBER 1?!?

Who I think you’re talking about when you say Bad Bunny:

Very cool news: I am going to be the new Entomology & Horticulture Extension Educator for the Cape Cod Cooperative Extension! Paying it forward with the Employment Jelly. It feels like it came in really clutch this time!

Since I’m relocating for my new job (I have to move before I start working or getting a paycheck) it would be cool if someone hit my wishlist for housewarming things (especially gift cards since I won’t be taking much with me and I’m starting almost entirely over) 😇😇 www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Asserting my dominance by posting a secret family recipe every time my family does something mean to me.

Okay I needed this today.

What do you MEAN tomorrow is OCTOBER 1?!?

I realized I messed up my original quote post lol I have about $450 which is 1/3 of what I need for rent

Or could it be that Boomers didn’t retire as early as previous generations and the jobs just weren’t available for millennials, who graduated into the worst economy since the Great Depression, and Gen Z was simply lucky to be born at a better economic time with more opportunity than millennials?

Who I think you’re talking about when you say Bad Bunny:

Them: Are you okay? Me: I don’t feel well. Them: What’s wrong? Me: I have mood poisoning.

Since I’m relocating for my new job (I have to move before I start working or getting a paycheck) it would be cool if someone hit my wishlist for housewarming things (especially gift cards since I won’t be taking much with me and I’m starting almost entirely over) 😇😇 www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Honestly, my mental health improved when I stoped watching YouTube influencer videos. Not watching women who get designer goods and opulent travel experiences for free show off their luxury lifestyles really did make me feel better. Highly recommend.

I just saw a story about a dog who is now in the shelter after her dad became terminally ill, the dad’s friend offered to care for her, and immediately after he died the friend locked her in a shed. If anyone ever does this to my babies I will haunt you with the intensity of 1000 Annabelle dolls.

I have a bad feeling I’m going to doomscroll myself into a bad place today…

Artemis update: It's been a tough time. He is still in the hospital, not eating. A few folks have asked how they can help, so I've set up a GoFundMe to help with costs. If you've ever loved Artemis, his gravity experiments and feel moved to help him, here's the link. gofund.me/252b7473c

Every day I’m on the internet I regret it

Why isn’t today, 9-25, national Dolly Parton Day?

My HOA is so stupid that instead of sealing the asphalt like we need to do, they got someone to CAULK the cracks. They fucking CAULKED THE CRACKS WITH BLACK CAULK. WHAT THE FUCK?!?

There is no credible research linking aluminum in deodorant to adverse health outcomes, you stinky goblins.

Can’t decide if I’m annoyed or relieved I didn’t get raptured.

Get in loser, we’re getting raptured 🏎️

What time is the rapture?

How TF can rapture not include dogs? It’s not heaven without dogs.

Get in loser, we’re getting raptured 🏎️

What are y’all having for the last supper since the rapture is tomorrow?

Is it gauche to wear red boots for the rapture?

If you’re getting raptured tomorrow and need someone to care for your dog, hit me up.

According to TikTok the rapture is tomorrow. Anyone want to carpool?

Stressy and depressy. Don’t like it.

Born to be a 1970s cowgirl in a Marlboro ad, forced to live in this bullshit.

If you have a favorite NSAID don’t forget your retinol tonight.

Zip-up hoodies are a crime. I hate them.

They’re trying creative ways to guilt everyone back into the office

If you still have insecurities caused by Tyra Banks hazing those girls on ANTM, don’t forget your retinol tonight.

Unpopular Opinion (that should be popular): I don’t want to see your kids at the bar. I don’t want to see your kids at a winery. I don’t want to see your kids at a brewery. Adults are allowed to have adult spaces.

I’ve just heard about the “3-6-9 rule” for dating, and… WTF?!? I cannot imagine making an actual decision to not have sex for some arbitrary amount of time. Sure, sometimes it doesn’t happen for a while and that’s okay. But it’s also fine if it happens on the first date. I hate this planet.

I refuse to open this link but I really regret being able to read and existing on blue sky dot com

me and who? (i’m duck)

Quiet luxury is using name-brand coated Tylenol in a blank bottle.

Today seems like a good day to not be online, actually. It’s okay if you need to log off.

YouTube Music keeps randomly trying to play me Bruce Springsteen despite me having *never* listened to him on that app and I cannot fully articulate how much it is annoying me.

Today seems like a good day to not be online, actually. It’s okay if you need to log off.

Feeling stressy and depressy. Don’t like it.

Jenny is shocked, SHOCKED I say, to find herself in a shelter. Won't you come to Cat Adoption Team in Sherwood, OR and save her? #cats #catsofbluesky #adoptdontshop

If you consider yourself to be self-aware but are only aware of everything you need to improve & unaware of what you are great at/proud of, you aren’t self-aware. You’re just being a hater to yourself & mistake it for self-awareness. Inability to see & celebrate your strengths is not a virtue.

The biggest lie I tell myself is “five more minutes.”

Samantha Stites was stalked for 13 years and, after a judge refused to renew her protective order, abducted. The judge interpreted her kindness when she first met her abductor (before he stalked her) as a “complicated relationship.” We can’t even be kind without being blamed for becoming victims.