My hair has finally grown nice and long which means the damage and split ends are completely unavoidable at this stage and my next haircut will be miles too short again and repeat x infinity forever and ever amen.

One of my biggest pet peeves is brick and mortar businesses that are advertising all over Instagram... And absolutely no mention of their location anywhere whatsoever. Babe, your gym/coffee/brunch/cocktail looks lovely but are you in Rathmore or Sydney? I need to know x

I sold the Lexus today

Finding it really hard to give a shit about the insta huns in Dubai posting about how "scary" it is atm. Sorry your boozy brunch in the tax-free compound was interrupted 🤷

My newest ick is people saying they "asked chat gbt" Bad enough you're using AI to figure out how to wipe your own arse but you also can't even call it the right name? You're an embarrassment x

Blew my tyre out on Saturday night on a back road in Limerick. Says I, I'll have to drive Himself's Audi to work at 5.30am Sunday morning. No diesel in the Audi. 0km range. Says he, take my van. NOT A PRAYER OF ME DRIVING A WORK VAN FROM LIMERICK TO TRALEE AT 6AM. He drives me to work.

Unfortunately, resting and rehab work have both worked for my bad knee. I hate it when men are correct.

Getting a new phone is all fun and games until you realise just how many passwords you need to carry out your day to day life.

Ah lads, I'm SO sad for Lorna Luxe 😭

Cant wait to become an expert in all Winter Game events, three minutes after learning they exist. Me: What the hell is curling anyway? Me, 5 minutes later: If Canada doesn't guard the house more effectively then Norway can burn a rock from the hog line and still take the win.

Himself's little cousin had a kiddies digital/Polaroid camera at the wedding last weekend and she's taken maybe the best picture of me to ever exist?

I went in for some orange nails to go with my outfit for this weekend's wedding. Came out with the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

I have a wedding on Saturday but I need to wash my hair like today or yesterday... This is criminal.

God forbid, if I die tragically and I see you fuckers releasing balloons in my memory, I'll come back and haunt every single fuckin one of yous for all that nonsense plastic waste. And don't go making any fuckin true crime podcasts about me either. I'm not your clickbait content.

Bad enough that Sean Rooney CHEATED on Theresa, knowing full well that international news outlets had published their story... WHO THE FUCK DID HE CHEAT WITH?! BECAUSE I'M READY TO THROW FISTS AT ANYONE AND EVERYONE.

Perks of your boyfriend being a lorry mechanic is he'll teach you how to flash your lights at lorry drivers so they'll flash their lights back at you. A Mercedes lorry with a full face of lights nearly blinded me saying hello this evening. Unbelievable.

My parallel parking today, upon further review, was more along the lines of perpendicular parking. And I'm okay with that because I'm sure I have some redeeming qualities somewhere. If I look deep enough.

Unfortunately, I did so much washing today I had to pay to use 2 industrial machines instead of the washing machine at home. My logic when I got home was to dump it all out and that'd make me fold it and tidy it all away "later" It is now "later" 🫠

I feel very strongly about motorway service stations and if Junction 17 doesn't get a Chopped, I think I might die. Junction 14 is the wrong location for a Chopped!!!!! I'll die on this hill!!!

Okay but this is the perfect shape for a mug.

A lovely poem by Brendan Kennelly to reflect on as we settle into the new year! Who remembers Brendan’s famous delivery of this poem on the Late Late Show in 1997?

A trip to Seafield was part of my Christmas present, which is wonderful and lovely and such a nice treat... Except one night away in Wexford of a Sunday has me packing for approximately a week at sea.

A lady in a carpark just reverse parked her car straight into mine while I was sitting in it. I says to her here missus, you've gone straight into me there. Says she "no, I haven't" Okay, just kidding x

Everyone in government needs their hard drives checked. Absolute perverts.

How is it still available?? How many more women and children have to be harmed before the app is removed?

Forgot my password to the New Bird App but here we go lads. Quick fire update on the last 8 months: Realised my boyfriend was a lunatic so I finally broke up with him Wanted a hot girl summer Got a jew boyfriend instead Sold my BMW Bought a Lexus Hate my Lexus and miss BMW

“The Child Sex Abuse Material Machine might have some good uses too” is a lamentable policy position.

Finished copies of Long Story arrived today! Out everywhere on May 29th.

Usually my morning coffee comes back up to bed with me but how could you sit inside this morning 😍😍😍

"TERFs don't realise that this will affect cis women as well" misses the mark I think, because they do realise and they are actually happy to sell out cis women in order to make trans women suffer, that's a price they're more than happy to pay because they are simply cruel freaks and not feminists

Long shot and very much a question for Back In The Day Twitter, but does anyone have any idea of where I might find The Very Hungry Caterpillar as Gaeilge? Apparently it’s called Dónall An Chluimh Agus An-Ocras Air and appears to be out of print.

Any time I'm not in my own bed, I realise just how much of a fucking princess I am when it comes to how I sleep. That pea under the 20 mattress story may as well have been written about me because I am P A R T I C U L A R

Right you go into St Peter’s Basilica now with your CV. Tell them “I’ve got my baptismal cert and my confirmation, I would like to be the Pope please”. And you never know they could need a Cardinal somewhere or a Swiss Guard. The worst they can say is no.

Got my lip flip topped up and it kicked in almost immediately. No one needs to see me attempt to eat anything off a spoon for the next 12 weeks x

Cat looks like he just called Drake a pedophile

If Jesus had focused more on kitchen table issues and less on unpopular outcasts like lepers and prostitutes, he might have won more support from white working-class Judeans.

I think it’s fine to bully people for reading Harry Potter in 2025 actually If you want to read your old Harry Potter books, you should do it in secret and shamefully - you know, in the way that J.K. Rowling wants to force trans people to live.

It's very easy to not use AI image generators. Less than zero effort required. There's no reason to help normalise it at all.

I owe my life to All Nighter setting spray. Urban Decay, I love you xxxxx

One of my ear lobe piercings closed up. Said I'd do the sensible thing and go to my local piercing parlour to get it reopened. €30. Should have just fucking done it myself.

I've been training in my gym since 2021(?) and you see the same people every day. It's only since the sun came out this week that everyone has spoken to each other for the first time. Irish people don't know how to cope with vitamin D

Yo Taylor Swift if you’re reading this it would be really awesome if you could drop Reputation (Taylor’s Version) right away

Biggest commitment to a 3 second joke I've ever seen

not having the AI convo anymore i’m just sending people this

One of our weirdo regulars decided to confess his love for me today 😭😭😭 And then spent his evening knocking on the window of reception and blowing me kisses 😭😭😭 I had to spend an hour hiding in the kitchen to run away from him 😭😭😭

Just saw a local cafe post a picture on insta with dirty fingernails and I immediately unfollowed 🤢

You would think I'd be a bit more stressed out about the fact I'm probably going to lose my job since the American market is tanking but like... Don't threaten me with a good time ✌️

Had to take out cash to pay the dog groomer but the ATM would only give me €100 🙃 Now I have to pay for my groceries with cash instead of card and like I wholeheartedly agree with cash, cashless society would be detrimental etc But why does this feel illegal

Was reminded of this all-time Tumblr post