FLIM BAM BIM BAM OLE MISS BY DAMN

HOTTY TODDY GOSH ALMIGHTY

Someone explain Indiana to me this is crazyyyy

Zohran quoting Jadakiss in his inaugural speech has me ready to run thru a brick wall

The upside down is coming out of my nose

There should be show drug sommmeliers. Pairing the perfect and precisely measured cocktail of hallucinogens, pharmaceuticals, and botanicals throughout your show.

Whenever you’re embarrassed please remember that Paris Hilton once kissed the stomach of a non- pregnant woman

MFW tweezer gets ripcorded for number line

some of you should never post, much less see phish

Love tooooooo overshare on the group chat

FRY SAUCE aka Utah’s only worthy contribution to the culinary world.

THERES A BONG IN MY CAR

Phish will change your life

There are a lot of choices you can make in life, but desperately seeking attention like this should not be one of them.

I don’t know why but every time Tom Brady calls Josh Allen “gimpy” if feels like a slur

Josh Allen

When I do too much cat tranquilizer

Just rewatched Bambi for the first time in 35 years with my 4 year old and this might be the most gorgeous animated movie ever made.

How I’m walking out of 2025

TIL that the lead singer of Presidents of the United States of America now goes by Casper Babypants and he writes and performs songs for children. And the songs are really really really good!!!! Millennial dads rejoice!!!

In what should come as a surprise to absolutely no one I have a debilitating flu on my day off

Same way I found out about Epstein

One battle after another is a Christmas movie

The only rule is it begins

An Iranian pizza spot called Pie-Atollah

Seen in SLC

Bari Weiss’s sister with a first ballot hall of fame self indulgent idiotic take on an extremely accomplished and universally beloved chef and travel journalist. youtube.com/shorts/MD547...

I’m gonna fucken puke dude

Everything about this woman is so fucking vile

60 minutes CECOT segment. Recorded through my browser. HD quality. Not phone. Spread it around. If you're press, it's yours. Go nuts. It's streaming on a Canadian website, but there is no telling for how long. www.filemail.com/d/wkcdttnacp...

Line around the store at the state liquor store feel like I should be thanking the public servants who work here for their service 🫡

Tonyu-kun the soy milk carton sings through his forehead.

Doc Bullfrog, you smoke too tough. Your swag too different. Your bitch is too bad. They’ll kill you.

Once again my crippling social anxiety is keeping me from a fun Christmas party this year. Can’t do it.

BRAWL OF THE WILD TIME

More like TuLAME

We need to admit that god actually abandoned us long ago.

In the Epstein line. www.justice.gov/epstein

60 degrees and raining at 8k feet in Utah right now meanwhile northern Vermont is Stowekkaido. Look at that chowder. 🤿

My best friend in Utah is moving back to New Hampshire and buying a campground and he’s gonna live on and operate that campground and I’m really sad about it.

The answer is sell it for $150k @phastenough.bsky.social

I need to stop assuming that everyone is as lorepilled as I am when I make jokes

Yeah if a drink has the word “egg” in it I’m not drinking it

I was “good” at socializing tonight with a bunch of people I didn’t know.