fear not my court mendicant has concocted a pungent unguent to help maintain the balance of my humors and prevent foul maladies such as the rotting of my bodily flesh , of which I definitely do not suffer from

beautiful stunning thank you

it’s actually a bite from one of the infected but I don’t feel a thing the doctor said it’s like nothing he’s ever seen before one of the worst bites from a human he’s ever seen but I don’t mind I feel incredible I’ve actually never felt better in my life

examining trumps bloated nude body and taking notes when I observe unidentifiable marks, wounds, and structures

Wetting Yourself 27

SIR LOOKING ROBUST AND HEALTHY SIR

Imagining all the “war fighters” watching hegseth speak and suddenly realizing with complete clarity that they are completely fucked

AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY iPhone I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND place a trade on IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST bet

re: platner as someone who grew up in massachusetts a really good rule to live by is whatever happens in maine is none of my business

just saw a tiny old Chinese lady with a pompadour

Give Me A Two Person Blowjob, Please - 72 Person

finished a 2+ year curse of strahd campaign d&d please clap

Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost greeting the dead troops at the gate to the afterlife (hell)

RIP (rest in posts)

Looking good sir!

it’s pretty cool how Schumer in particular is the absolutely worst guy to be in charge of the opposition for everything happening under Trump 2 more than anyone else just perfectly not suited for the moment

at this point I don’t think there’s any possible way to deny the simple fact that Israelis preferred target of violence are the most vulnerable and in most cases, ideally, children

Americans saying “we will be greeted as liberators” with the same tone and affect as British hooligans announce “it’s coming home” every World Cup year

it’s all very bad of course but can’t help but enjoy that they set up an ad hoc mar a lago sit rep room which tweet deck capabilities behind the buffet table where a pot roast has been slowly desiccating under the yellow orange glow of a heat lamp that has been running continuously since 1987

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe? AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

predator killer drone operated by grok ai dropping a bunker buster on a random school bus because it says “American trans llc” on the side and it registered as an enemy combatant

showed up 20 minutes early for a doctors appointment (steepling my fingers) now we wait

I'm really pleased with this: My students interviewed my former writing professor from decades ago, Michael Lesy, about Wisconsin Death Trip, and looking at photographs as a method of survival in dire times. slowcivilwar.substack.com/p/believing-...

Keep consolidating I’m torrenting

on one hand zohran is very charming and a talented politician but on the other I think any phone scam operator targeting senior citizens could successfully defraud Donald Trump within the first 30 seconds of a phone conversation

tapping the sign

really love to have navigate a quirky website to find a very specific thing

Girls Peeing Everywhere

just straight up did a scooby doo style wipe out on some black ice my legs turned into a blurring pinwheel and then I momentarily went horizontal in the air before crashing to the ground

no judgement but if your child becomes a cop you have fucked up immensely as a parent

cops are the whiniest, most thin-skinned losers in all of American society and it’s not even fucking close

👍

there’s only one reason to watch Trump state of the Union and I don’t think it’s gonna happen tonight

anyways remember this? still extremely funny what huge fucking baby losers these guys are

this man assaulted and nearly killed several brave New York City police officers and you think that’s funny?

several nypd officers were injured during the course of their duties in a kinetic incident involving pillows of unknown origin in an altercation between individuals gathered for the purpose of “NY Pillow Fight” this is dangerous and unacceptable behavior and will not be tolerated

Diane, 11:30 AM, February 24th. Entering the town of Twin Peaks.

mayor mamdanny must denounce and imprison the snowball violence against police Americans or he is no better than isis or Hamas

This is the neutral good version of the Tyler the creator how the fuck is cyber bullying real tweet (which is ofc chaotic neutral)

Day after the storm : overall people did an amazing job of shoveling their shit everyone who didn’t tho you all are FUCKED because the foot of snow is now compressed into 3 inches of demonic ice

traveling back in time to yassify baby hitler

been telling my wife all about the the lady who I saw piss on the train today I keep bringing it up for the past 24 hrs but she still hasn't taken the hint

just had to have "the talk" with my father (everything on Facebook is AI slop)

Can’t wait to see Ben affleck spilling this all over himself

holding kash’s little legs so he can do a keg stand

oh no I’m Irrelevant because I’m posting on bluesky not Twitter jokes on u I’m a middle aged man I’m irrelevant anyway

Kash Patel: this is what we do baby!!!!!! ::spraying miller lite around the team usa locker room:: Savannah Guthrie’s mom: hellloooooo i’m dying

Bryant park pure gym has fallen