head in my hands “grok? grok? Are you there? Can you put her in a swimsuit? Grok????”

Accidentally had a whisky Thursday without Tony Dokoupil feel like shit today

I have 1 cat that loves belly rubs and one who doesn’t the perfect combination

If you strike me down I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine

reports of “kick me” signs adhered to the backsides of ice agents indicate terrorist threats of death

Lmao get rekt

presenting Donald Trump with the honorable mention award I got in 3rd grade for the model of lungs I made out of 3 balloons, straws, and a plastic cup

👼

kind of wild that osama bin Laden won like credit where credit is due he really got us with 9-11

I love graphic design

several agents were involved in a kinetic incident with a chemical weapon and are recovering after medical treatment

lol it’s like 90% sex offenders who didn’t graduate high school these are not 1000s of Jason Bournes be for real

loading Mr bean into the EVA

trying to scan the QR code on the masked ICE agent who is about to break my car window & drag me out on the street I keep asking him to stop moving so I can get the app to work but he doesn’t seem to hear me anyway the windows broken now & he’s cutting my seatbelt… ok almost got it…no. shit hold on

mentions of Tony Dokoupil up 500000% since last year another W for bari weiss and cbs news

Ruthkanda forever

lmaoooooo that must have felt amazing

this guy and the couple from cat person are in a throuple

hell yeah

Homie

they should give Scott Adams the Charlie Kirk treatment and try to make anyone give a single shit

He’s so funny

(til tok me pointing up at the title and then down at at my butt) What Comes out of My Butt on an Average Day Middle Aged Man Living in Brooklyn NY

I am also in favor instituting a highly intensive training program for all future ice agents (chemical castaration and internment)

you really can’t say a lot of the things that need to be said about the current situation but everyone with a pure heart and clear eyes knows what we want to see happen and I believe all our minds turning to the same thought will manifest soon and it’s going to be hilarious

did he place a ton of bets on crashing out before the one year mark or

I had an old thread on twitter that was just videos of cops eating shit guess I’ll start a new one here because lol

Absolutely

liberal holistic strategy applicable to any situation seems to boil down to “under no circumstances should you do anything”

my schedule as a 46 yr old father : m-th wake up at 5:45 go for a 6 mile run go to work go to the gym to lift pick up son from school take him to some sport thing make dinner asleep by 9:30 Friday only: do all of the above but make nachos drink 5 whiskeys stay up until 11:30

“Most dads will avoid workouts like this” ok

imagining JD Vance getting the worst case of crabs humanly possible from Erica Kirk

yeah but have you considered doing a really long drawn out sigh and then when someone asks you what’s wrong just shrugging and looking away and saying “nothing”

his drowning brain grasping towards the light and pulling down tiny fragments for us to exclaim over

it’s fucking horrendous all the way down but it’s deranged to shoot and kill someone while holding your phone up to record it

Pete Buttigieg is right we need to train our pig brained illiterate racist ICE agents to be less easily excited around automobiles we should have them wearing thundershirts they should all have prescriptions to Zoloft they should be castrated for their own safety

don’t think i’ll ever stop thinking about jd vance talking about garden state on his livejournal

Elon and JD Vance: both guys obsessed with posting and desperate for people to like them but cursed to be fucking terrible at tweeting and repugnant and reviled by the all but the most desperate and pathetic…kind of beautiful tbh

Not to be political but we should put these people in the ground and grind them into dust

I just get so upset thinking about all those masked ICE agents coming home to an empty apartment after a long day of work turning on the news and seeing all this hatred and vitriol it must feel so lonely one wonders how they carry on without harming themselves—perhaps even ending their own lives?

it rules they created a whole new job in ICE for guys who are too fucking stupid and violent to be cops

my mom remarried so we celebrated both Jan 6 and September 11th growing up

Donald Trump presenting Elon musk with the presidential Medal of Honor for winning the AI CSAM war everyone is cheering

look at this cunty little deer

what kind of health insurance does jair bolsonaro have

when I see someone post something I disagree with

is it nice to argue online which is the most toxic social media website does it feel good do you enjoy doing that