IKEA lore

Benjamin Butthole is Bisexual

This grandma legend out here vape in one hand and cigarette in the other

I LOVE GETTING GOOD NEWS!!!

Just read a sniffies bio that just said “STOP SHAVING YOUR PUBES!!!” 😂

He’s got a certain, how do say, je nais se cock

Gm ☀️

VULGAR: suck my dick CLASSY:

It’s not just camp, it’s Van de Kamp

Can I be gay on main for a sec

🍁🌼🪻🕷

my whole vibe in one picture

We all know you took that nude back in 2005 but only the real ones know it was with the logitech webcam

Do have nicknames for the gym regulars? Like Fast & Furious and his bf 2 Fast 2 Furious and then there’s Creatine Hole and Mary 3 Machines for example

Love going to a gym where there’s hot men wearing short-shorts and crop-tops 🤩

thinking about this old tumblr post for Absolutely No Reason In Particular

And sometimes you fill them up so much they burst

philosophers only want one thing and it's fucking discussing

Benjamin Butthole is Bisexual

It’s not just camp, it’s Van de Kamp

Just sung my little heart out at karaoke 😂

All or nothing/black and white processing limitations will be the death of me one day istg the level of sedation I should be under to chill the fuck out sometimes 😑 Gm! ☀️

Man comes up to window and holds up his phone with his sniffies open and points at me and like… good one! but also that is very weird and unsettling. Reasons why I always feel harassed lol

Eating a fat burrito and thinking about butt sex

gm

Why pay for therapy when creampies are free

when I close my eyes, everything is crystallised, no one wants to go outside, it blows my mind

Feel like getting rowdyyy 🤠

The moon is mooning me

I didn’t crush myself under the barbell today 😂

Post work, pre gym 🤩

The sun has been out shining on me all day and it’s doing things to my brain chemistry 🫦

Madonna deepening into herself instead of reinventing herself is so fucking sexy

I keep forcing Confessions II onto my assistant, happy wrath month

I don’t wanna date you, I wanna bro you

You guys we should all be on a boat together in our little speedos

Massive slut for protein btw

My ass is SO TIGHT today

Gm ☀️

Fags for Hags

Gay guy listening to Madonna at the gym? Groundbreaking.

I have been informed that it was not evident at the time of posting that this is NOT my screenshot LMAOOO

Such a huge slut for coffee

Gm ☀️

Ngl I thought this was lady gaga

My pantone birth chart palette is just my mom’s chosen ‘feature wall’ colours over the years lol

I won an award at Sundance years ago and Sam Neill, whom I did not know, tweeted to me “we’re all so proud of you, sweetheart”. I can’t even express what that meant to me. That our most beloved national treasure, a man I worshipped, would take the time to write to me!