I took a peek at the news… yall okay?

Just saw a car with a Trump decal and a Kirk decal. Lmfaooo.

I’m glad I have a naturally sunny disposition and don’t get upset or stressed very often because I can’t smoke or drink. 😂 I don’t think I would’ve ever delved into smoking but I probably would be sipping a lil’ more. Definitely would’ve taken in some more edibles. Hey, maybe I still can.

Not Diane Keaton went to be with the Lord!!!!

“‘Cause you built like your daaaaaaaad” 😂 damn you, Joseph!!

liking chris brown, tory lanez, trey songz, and/or r. kelly are in fact character flaws

I get paid more to deal with children that are held accountable for their own actions *and* can use the bathroom by themselves?! sign me up! 😂

I’ve only been doing gig work under my own name for approximately an hour and I’m already over it. What do you mean I can’t confirm that I received the order?! I HAVE it. What do you mean the store hasn’t recognized me as being in the area? How do I have this damn package then?! 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

I feel like people go out of their way to be offended by what I say. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m not ever mean, I’m mostly jokey, but I can get very matter-of-fact. But I’ve noticed a pattern of people literally going out of their way to be offended by what I say. 😂

Why are the Diddy fans crying that he got four years? That nigga got off LIGHT. He should’ve gotten more!

Ice is kidnapping black citizens in Chicago in the middle of the night.

it took me having pretty “severe” tinnitus to know I’ve always had the shit 😂

but in her defense, I do come up in there with big tees and yoga pants. but we all do that.

I feel like when you look at me, you can tell i *probably* mess with women. I didn’t know I ever gave straight. I need to butch it up, honey!

not me finding out my coworker thought I was straight. she just accused me of doing Bible study and the thought of her thinking I did that with a man is both entertaining yet insane.

me, being built like my dad but still dancing to pretty & petty

People say anything to try to get a rise outta you. 😂

girl why is edamame on an ABC chart?! if you don’t put egg on there and call it a damn day!!! 😂

These commercials are SO insane lmfao. Talking about, “I’m no size queen”. 😂 MA’AM!!!

I remember when one of my teachers lost her voice. She cursed everybody out through messages on the board lmfao.

I’m like hmph, hmph, weave to the floor.

“Ignore all the hell he wrought upon other people because he didn’t do it to ME.” 🙄 What a bird.

Now I don’t have any voice. I’ve been asked to repeat dehydrated SpongeBob’s famous “I need it” line. It’s not even fucking 8 AM. 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

Why yall mad at Cardi for doing what she wants with her naughty bits?! I get being concerned, but like, people are upset and talking cash shit. It’s SO weird. Touch grass.

Having a sore throat and working with children will beat your ass EVERY time. I’m over here sounding like Chuckie Finster. Now when I lose all my voice, what I’ma do?! 😂

I really be doing shit for the plot.

I don’t know what possessed me to try great value wild caught salmon but I need to whoop my own ass for that. that shit is disgusting. 😂

I’ma correct a typo every time! People use it to be like “…see?”. Girl, you need to correcting YOUR typos. I guess not everybody cares about making themselves look dumb just ‘cause they said something in the midst of “battle”. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’ll correct both of us, don’t worry about it. 😂

My mom is so bothered by my sister and I not speaking. I don’t have kids, so I don’t know how I would feel about that, but it doesn’t seem to be as heart wrenching as she’s making it seem, especially since she is (*still* REGULARLY accosted by my sister 😂. You want me to re-join the circus?! No.

lmaoooo not the girly pops tryna get the anti CK folks fired. this one lady on IG asked me my profession. find out on your own, loser. 😂

big spoon, it makes me feel like the top I was meant to be. 😂

Girl I know people are just tryna keep their jobs but it’s irritating to me how none of the figureheads I’ve come to love stood on business when it comes to CK. I understand but why do we have to watch what we say when the other side doesn’t really have to? 😂

you’re not a better person than somebody else because you care a little more about somebody evil dying. you’re just not. actually, I kinda think you’re stupid. 🤷🏾‍♀️

“how could you celebrate someone’s death?” it’s so easy. if you would not like to partake, that is okay. but stop asking stupid ass questions lmao.

Everybody EXCEPT 45 is getting up outta here.

How come all the people that like to declare they don’t have a hateful bone in their body always have public and documented cases of being hateful? It’s not making sense to me.

I remember seeing yall talk about a CO messing with somebody in jail but I just learned that the somebody was Young Thug. What the fuck is wrong with yall?!

people be talking to trans women crazy, talking about “use the bathroom with MY daughter and see what happens”. it’s already happened and you didn’t do shit and you’re not gonna do shit. shut the fuck up.

My favorite thing to do is ask the kids to help me get up and so they pull me with all their might and I make it look like they actually helped me up 😂 they always look so proud

when yall be dragging the “seed oils bad” movement I shut my motherfucking ass UP lmfao. they’re awful— now, I know them fucking me up is MY problem and so it doesn’t make sense to make it this huge thing, but I be sitting there like “yuuuup” ‘cause I’m proof that they fuck with you lol

I hope my favorite pizza isn’t giving me a reaction!!! oh it’s hurting my heart lawd

right. I’m very good at not murdering people. A master at it, really.

every time I see that I’ve lost weight I get pissed off 😂 it’s not because of anything except my body restricting what I can eat 🙄 I wanna be on thick, thick!! but noooo 🙄

Buss At You makes you want opps you can sing to. The younger generation is so open minded, they don’t even question why we singing to opps. I’m here for it! 😂

I’m watching the Lisa Frank documentary is the ex husband is taking me out, insisting he’s the brains behind the whole thing. Sir, she was on and popping before you even stepped in. RELAX.

Not my mama telling me she tested for the Rona just mere days after being all in my face. 🤦🏾‍♀️ Girl. She feels symptoms, I don’t, so I’m not worried but I’ma still take my hind parts to the Walgreens tomorrow just to verify cuz I’m around a bunch of kids all the time.

im cool as fuck, of course I like me. I’m pretty much the same on and offline.

I think the age is 26, ‘cause that’s when I started 😂. I’ll never stop!