i have no interest in separating porn from art we should all be arm in arm

they’re calling it nature’s candy bar and I could eat it ten times a day

I think that if the government just gave each one of us $60,000 things couldn’t possibly be any worse

post your style icon

I think today would be a good day to be consumed by the void gnawing constantly at the diminishing light within me

okay hear me out banana + salted almonds is one of the top five flavor/texture combinations of all time

in the middle of a severe depressive episode and if we could just get to the manic episode so I could get some shit done that would be great

Fertile Eyes Fertilize Fertile Lies

A haiku: I remove my shoes The odor, it has arrived It is with us now

in 2026 any personal hope or dream is getting filed under “maladaptive daydreaming”

man I just want to open up my little ice cream shop

how many bong hits have been dedicated to howard shore for his contributions to film, its not enough. next time you get ripped why not do it for howie

Mayor Pervis Dipshit

I like that I’m built like Mrs. Gumby

some pretty moments from a pretty night out ♥️

i think you could probably pretty easily convince Donald Trump that Carmen Sandiego is real

what do you mean I didn’t have to come all the way here to chew bubblegum. what do you mean I’m allowed to do that in the comfort of my home

I’ve accidentally discovered “Rich 2” where I don’t work but I also do not have any money

I cannot access my building’s workout room today and so cannot do my workout for the first time I started it in three months and it is now simply impossible to balance the chemicals in my brain

hey check this out: cornfetti. like confetti but with corn

this is like if you put a photo of scott aukerman into one of those age progression apps

Doing this with Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and inserting the entirety of Top Gun twice

No pictures, where are you at mentally? I’m here

Cosmopolis (2012)

Happy Year of the Fire Hose

Good morning!! Have a couple of nudes from My Little Fairy Cave to start your day right 💋✨💋✨

if I had a Time Machine, I would kill the millennial who coined the phrase “the [blank]s are [blank]ing.” Then I’d figure out what to do with the Time Machine.

happy valentine’s day

♥️Woke up to this on my first Valentine’s Day in Love♥️

loose hairs are living organisms who yearn for the drain

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

Feeling EXTREMELY vindicated that I kept telling friends and family in 2020 “I think they are letting us die on purpose to thin us out.”

“No. No. This will not be my day today.” - Me, out loud just now when the 2 ply started to come undone

Don't give anything an Emmy until it's as good as this.

sometimes I pick up my phone knowing I am about to feel stupid as fuck when I google whether something is true and the answer is “of course not”

Age verification? The first web site I ever went to was zelda dot com and it turned out NOT to be about the video game

legit made me feel better

a new morning, a fresh new round of rejections

my politics

Upon arriving at any destination with any friend of mine: “Mitchell, honey, put your shoes on, we’re at Grandma’s.”

Post a banger that isn’t in English youtu.be/pUJeiEva0Hw?...

Throwback to one year ago yesterday when I was winning my little award in Los Angeles

lol I follow so much hentai on here this put me next to all the Japanese folks

if I ever get an office job again I’m gonna have to mute a whole lotta porn accounts on here so I guess I can never work in an office again

yeah sex is great but have you ever stopped your girlfriend from falling for an extremely convincing scam saving her $4000? somebody is buying me sushi train tonight bby

forget movies where the cast are all muppets with one famous lead— I want a movie where just one minor character is played by a muppet. It is never acknowledged.

pronouncing lofi like Loki