Brown: “Lucy is a really good person. I have these private conversations with her about why she keeps pulling the football. She has told me she really wants to let me kick it and she’s sure she’ll let me next time. And that’s the crisis we’re in. A crisis of gullibility.”

Okay, but what about when he wore a tan suit?

When all three Jeopardy contestants don’t get a basic Star Trek SNW clue

John Brown might be the most “not wrong, just early” guy in American history

Has this been done?

I think I’ve found the secret to dieting. Thanks, AI

*scrolling through my mutuals* Say, this person is funny. Why did I mute them? *unmutes* *48 hours later* Oh, riiiiight.

“Check mate, Trump!” I say just before passing out from the gasoline fumes filling my house.

But we're going to touch the stove and we'll be touching it more than probably ever before. And we're not going to get burned. We're not going to get burned

This sums up post-Reagan capitalism quite nicely

New @rossfloate.bsky.social fascination object just dropped

Big strong men come up to me with tears in their eyes, “Sir” they say, “Sir! I touched the stove! I touched it A LOT and it didn’t hurt at all!” They try to shake my hand but can only give me a bloody stump but that’s OK. They’re suckers and losers but I dunno, what do we think folks? Are they?

No cheating; your last saved picture of a celebrity is your therapist. Um…

Dear February,

Second day of Spring Training and Mets fans are already complaining about the lineups. God bless you obsessive loons. #MetsSky

“L'État, c'est moi.” Did you ever hear that before? I said that. Not many people know that, but I was the one to say it first. It means we’re gonna be doing great things folksh , it’s unbelievable how shhhhwwuu…great unbelievable thingsh like you’ve never sheen. L'État *zesty voice* C’EST MOI!

How could a convicted felon who lies more easily than he breathes possibly lie to us?

An excellent summary of what’s behind the media’s pearl clutching over AOC, how the forces behind it are truly global in scope and need to be addressed beyond a purely economic focus.

I gotta give the Times credit - they are going hard on the Epstein story. This is “Is Joe Biden Too Old” level coverage

The Panicans are right to start sweating... open.substack.com/pub/brianbeu...

Stephen Miller must be having an aneurysm right about now

Okay winter, we get it. Now would you PLEASE fuck off.

I wonder if Trump’s heightened interest in naming things after himself is that he knows he’s dying.

And now we enter the golden calf phase of Trump 2 www.nytimes.com/2026/02/03/t...

Wow. I guess all those billionaires must have left by now, right? What else could possibly explain his popularity I wonder…

Bill Ackman went after academic plagiarism even though his wife had plagiarized in academia. David Brooks said Epstein Files weren't worth looking at while knowing he'd met with Epstein. Team Trump campaigned on releasing Epstein Files knowing Trump was Epstein's confidant. The hubris is endemic.

❤️

Ah Schitt apple.news/AnHjbcGheREG...

Her father must be looking up at her and grimacing

Dan Harmon on fascism:

USS Max Headroom USS Mindhunter USS Winning Time USS Lou Grant USS W*A*L*T*E*R USS Joey

REpUblCAnS aRE GoOD fOR BuSInESs

Minnesotans: You merely adopted the cold, I was born in it, modeled by it. I didn’t feel heat until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but humid!

Strong whiff of copium coming from Phillies and Jays fans in here tonight

Mets have signed Bo Bichette? Another infielder??

Some encouragement on a Monday morning... open.substack.com/pub/data4dem...

All Turner, no Hooch

This kind of thing does point out a real ethical dilemma: block or mute?

But, this is my word every year?

Want to feel old? 2025 started a year ago.

Hands down the best Met www.europesays.com/us/476800/

@rossfloate.bsky.social I regret to inform you that your murdering has spread to Scotland

When Google search launched, people didn’t need to be berated into it. There was no “you better figure out some way to use this.” People just tried it, quickly saw it directed them to information they sought and helped them navigate the internet, and kept going back to use it more. Just sayin’.

Wanted to see him before Trump pardoned him

Just happened to come across this spot. Feel like I should fart or something