Meanwhile, in Vermont, the chickens have had enough

"i asked chatgpt" yeah well i went to the doctor, i went to the mountains, i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source for some definitive closer I am to fine

👇👇

The rats have chosen a new pope.

A study in contrasts

That springtime urge to just run the lint roller directly over the cat. Seems more efficient.

Checks out

slightly off-topic but one time my husband couldn’t remember Jacob Collier’s name and just referred to him as “Benedict Clusterchord” and I’ve never fully recovered

I'm here for this Internet fight. Fixed do is deranged.

This is my New Year's Eve.

Still my favorite art

Woohoo my new very serious music arrived.

I did not message this person to tell them that "you" is a pronoun. Please clap.

New protected bike lane design 🔥🔥

My favorite art is in upper Manhattan www.stjohndivine.org/art-ideas/ja... Gives me the best flashbacks to my choir nerd days 💜

Choir director: "Make that top note really sparkle."

Hmmm yes.

When there isn't a steam leak to create that perfect NYC atmosphere 🪄

this owl just inhaled a pound of cocaine

Mmm dumplings

🦝🛫🤷‍♀️ gothamist.com/news/raccoon...

Get those gainz 💪

How many new yorker points do I get for teaching a newcomer to pronounce "Spuyten Duyvil"?

Gym bros (gender neutral) say ban cars 💪

I didn't check the rats but both rat support trucks are US brands. The portable air pump is a Honda 🤷‍♀️

Neighborhood union busting threat level: 2

Every sign tells a story 🤢

TIL: professional axe throwing is a thing. And they show it on tv?! And one of the lead sponsors sells insurance to axe throwing bars!! I love discovering a new hyper specific subculture.

Afternoon plans in Brooklyn, this will be fine I'm sure.

Important government fact:

Solnit's Paradise Built in Hell drove this home for me. It's always local people in small ephemeral networks who are the real first responders.

Maybe it would be faster to get a warrant that says what people in NYC government the FBI DOESN’T have to search

🙏🙏🙏👀

I hope this family is enjoying their camping trip.

My 80+ Mom: so she's a they? Me: sure, close enough Mom: because of the expansive variety of their personality? Me: 🤯 er not in this case but yes that is one reason people use "they"

i have one question for every swimsuit top i've ever seen and it's this: where are the rest of one's boobs supposed to go

This is a problem for me. Gangsters paradise is on heavy rotation at the gym. "As walk through the valley where I harvest my grain..."

udm14.com is now my default search engine. It's like getting in a time machine to 2010.

date 2 is teaching you how to go bouldering, date 3 is bullying you into buying a bicycle, sorry I don't make the rules

"We found no behavior which violated Datomic’s core safety claims" Good day to buy a lottery ticket.

"Reflection" from Mulan is a queer power ballad send tweet.

Every once in a while you find a banger on Mastodon, I swear to god.

The woods are nice

Trans space Oreos.

Will the music save this tree?

The future is stupid