I love when both of my sports teams win on the same day

GSG

He’s like having a nuclear weapon in 1945. Basically basketball Yordan

I’m extremely tired and instead of going to bed I painted my toenails. So now bedtime is even further away

The Astros have not lost a game since Maisie Peters released her third studio album, Florescence. I’m just saying.

Simply having a wonderful no-hit time.

What the hell is TK wearing?

SANTA DELIVERED A NO-HITTER ON MEMORIAL DAY 🎅

SANTA BROUGHT US A NO-HITTER! #Astros

when another team throws a combined no-hitter: oh your bullpen did its job? sure when my team throws a combined no-hitter: well actually if you think about it its even harder than a normal one

That’s going to be one expensive debut patch baseball card

SANTAAAA OH MY GOD I know him!

Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny. Look into it.

Anyone know why the games are all at 1:20 this weekend?

Ugh if okc wins this game my boss will be insufferable tomorrow

If Jonathan wins Survivor 50 I’m going to lose it

My life is a constant cycle of -wanting a chocolate chip cookie - not having a chocolate chip cookie - procuring chocolate chip cookie - eating chocolate chip cookie And repeat.

I can’t be an empath and a baseball fan

Is this thing on?

I don’t like this

My love for a discontinued deodorant is so serious that I just bought it on eBay

I’m two shots in and in danger of buying a bedjet

Who would’ve thought a guy named Shewmake would have the longest hitting streak for the Astros this season

This was about the no hitter. I am relieved it’s over and I can stop being stressed

Morgan Ensberg mentioned

Great job Christian + Bricey, now don’t ever scare me like that again

I’ve been made aware of some information that I didn’t want to know

Shoutout to the fans in the stands that have been chanting

🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

One of my favorite artists was supposed to release an album today but pushed it to next week. When will Drake pay for his crimes?

Don’t let Peter Lambert distract you from the fact that Adam Lambert should’ve won American Idol

Station to station

It’s currently looking like the astros do not love their mothers

I was telling my mom about what happened between the Red Sox and the Tigers and my dad said, “you pronounced it wrong. It’s not Framber. It’s Big Baby Framber.”

🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

BREAKING: the Houston Astros

Anyways I hope Cesar Salazar has the best cup of coffee he’s ever had today

Awww did Framber Valdez have another tantrum last night?? Ya hate to see it

What a dick

Scary

Goodness gracious Cam Smith

New phone, who dis?

I saw a TikTok the other day that said “if you’re thinking of someone/something that you don’t want to be, turn on music from childhood that you really enjoyed” So I bought the Lemonade Mouth soundtrack on vinyl. 10/10 would recommend

“I refuse to carry the burden of having to hide my emotions.” goes insanely hard

At dinner with my parents Dad: did you see there was a shooting at the White House correspondents dinner? Me: yes I did, in BIGGER NEWS did you see Klay Thompson cheated on Megan Thee Stallion?

It always makes me giggle when they say a player is a triple shy of the cycle.

Klay Thompson, you’re on my list.

This is true and important but the real problem for Klay is he's made an extremely talented and well-connected songwriter extremely mad at him. I don't think he understands how badly this could go

Don’t mind me, just sitting here crying over the video of Kayden McDonald getting drafted

Where do people buy sheets these days