Pre-crying about Artemis II’s return to Earth today

Major update. There’s two of them.

Me: The Artemis II mission is doing an amazing job of reminding me about what's important in this lifetime, and not to waste so much of my energy suffering over little stuff that really isn't very consequential in the end. Also me: This fucking bullpen

I hope the guy wearing the Oscar the Grouch costume behind home plate is proud of himself

THIS MUSIC MAY CONTAIN HOPE by RAYE might be the greatest album of all time

Big Cammy fan

Space is the coolest place I never want to go to

This game feels like a fever dream. Blummer left then came back?? Routine plays missed. The lead has changed multiple times and we’ve been tied multiple times. And now there’s a dude dressed like the cat in the hat behind home plate?

This game is drunk, like I should be

I love when defense starts a rally

Nick Kurtz’s walk up song speaks to my inner 2014 tumblr girl.

I could’ve sworn I heard Blummer’s voice at the beginning of this game

Sam Campbell should’ve been the winner of Last One Laughing

The 10+ run curse has infected the A’s

Joey Lopes knows how to rope

Ahhh the first Altuve boos of the season. Baseball is back.

I can’t believe Sia did Company Retreat

Did they cancel the emergency alert drill or did I just not get anything?

I’ll be honest, I didn’t think replacing our hitting coaches in the offseason would be this impactful

Brands setting up their April fools jokes the day before is why people have trust issues 😂

I quote “what am I gonna do in a submarine” at least once a day, if not more.

happy trans day of visibility to all of the incredible trans people in my life. the world is better with you in it and I'm never going to stop fighting for you, because your fight is my fight. we're in this together.

Yeah this is the only explanation

Correa and LMJ back together makes me emotional

Some of us never doubted LMJ for a second

Goodness gracious Cam Smith 3.0

“Gentlemen remove your caps” does that mean gentlewomen don’t have to?

They knew they couldn’t embarrass themselves today in front of Imai

Joey Lopes knows how to rope

Once again, goodness gracious Cam Smith

Next time I have salsa and/or queso I'm gonna make sure I dip in Spanish.

Goodness gracious Cam Smith

On the bright side, no team has ever lost all 162 games

Much tequila will be consumed this season

Once they get trans women banned from women's sports, they still won't watch them, by the way.

HEB dropping an Astros commercial that’s entirely in Spanish.

The tension between me and British comedy competition television shows.

I don’t think I’ll ever get over Chadwick Boseman’s death

Currently lamenting the fact that I do not live in Houston. My two favorite things in one shirt!

Oh my god Nebraska

Presented without comment.

New season of Jury Duty. My brand is absolutely thriving.

If I had done the cat rules my bracket would still be okay The cat knows best.

He 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻 too hard

We are back on the proper timeline

Funniest possible outcome is incoming.

I am so happy for Omar Lopez man

I could cry

Beginning of the inning I told my dad Venezuela was going to score When USA challenged I said the call would stand, as there wasn’t enough evidence to overturn or confirm. I know ball.

I think Free Bird has been ruined for me