This becomes more prescient everyday. This is not the Catholicism I was taught

There were some dips in play and a few questionable coaching decisions but all in all, this has been a really good Rockets season. The most enjoyable team they’ve had in quite a while

This new foreign policy of bombing countries and killing or kidnapping their leaders is not congruent with curbing nuclear proliferation. If I was the leader of a country that doesn’t have a nuke, I’d damn sure be trying to get one to deter the US from killing my people

Pregaming Masters weekend by watching the Rory doc about last year’s tournament. If anybody needs to speak with me I’m on the other side of this brick wall I just fucking ran through

I knew Amazon was evil, but dropping the final season of The Boys during the Masters is devious even for them

It’s dumb to play baseball on top of a mountain anyway

They shredded the field. 😔

Absolutely perfect outside. Had a productive walk. An old Spanish lady was closing down the kitchen at the corner store. She talked me into taste testing everything. Probably beef lips and pork assholes but it was good. She then made me a burrito bigger than my head

Happy “We Might Nuke a Motherfucker Today Because Our President is an Idiot”. Love it here

Remember watching baseball last week? That was fun

I’m so lucky my mom gave me a cool ass name. I feel sorry for the Keiths, Todds, Ronalds and Donalds whack ass names group

Why are we getting North Carolina gubernatorial race ads on SCHN?

In the time it takes to make a BLT, the pen can give up 5 more runs

Christopher Walken wants you to hit on a girl at a bar by buying her a Miller Lite. Good luck with that, guys

Pocket Jesus is the reason for the season

Correa has stranded more dudes than a Tesla truck

If you’re gonna stick Cam in right field then you should at least teach him how to play the position properly

Hunter Brown to the IL

Woke up feeling dangerous. Might get day drunk and make some bad decisions, as is my right as an American

Sometimes you read an article that leaves you with way more questions than any answers it gives

Sometimes you wake up on Sunday morning, have a big stretch, turn on the tv and immediately see Hakeem Jeffries. Now your day is ruined because you’re reminded that democratic leadership are a bunch of squishy cowards armed with talking points and political spin bullshit

You can be happy that the shot down US service member was rescued and also vehemently oppose this war. They aren’t mutually exclusive

Did we keep the receipt for Tucson when we bought it from Mexico?

Texas only- Small: Karnes City Medium: Lufkin Large: Lubbock

No, they’re booing the butthead

3-0 green light up 11 in the 8th. They must have done something in last night’s game that Joe didn’t take kindly to

My back locked up on my mosey today so I had to walk back home like Edgar in MIB

Imai shorts, Brokeland

Happy Ten Commandments Saturday! I’d like to apologize to my friends and family for talking like Charlton Heston playing Moses for the next 2 weeks

I thought it wasn’t until next week that Astronauts splashed down back to Earth from space

That is the shortest foul pole I have ever seen. That foul pole can’t ride the rides at Six Flags. If you put a goal at the top I could dunk on that foul pole

4 gold glove infielders and that happens

The ABS system is like a crazy redhead. I know I shouldn’t like it, it’s unhealthy, and it will cause me anguish. Yet I’ll still fire off that “U up?” challenge

I did not know Lamar Odom OD’d on Truck stop speed at the Nevada brothel. That man was in a bad way

“When asked about Leavitt’s comments, Trump replied he hadn’t seen them”

Gamecocks gonna Gamecock

“We should be able to beat the shit out of recruits and also they should have guns” Good luck, Pete 👍🏼

The best and most plausible plot point in The Expanse is the inventor that discovered the show’s version of the “warp drive” and died when he couldn’t use his hands to slow the ship down because of G forces. Curie died of radiation poisoning. Scientists, real or imagined, rock

They sent a 4 time girl dad into space. It’s over for you alien hoes

I think the first person to moonwalk on the moon should get to be president of the moon for life

This white dude is out of his mind! It’s like he’s unconscious out there! (watching Reed Sheppard shoot)

We successfully bullied KD into using lotion. Now we should bully him into doing something about that hairline and bald spot

Finished watching the Rupert Murdoch doc. Succession was spot on. Every one of those people are the worst form of “human” you’ve ever seen

“I shanked a 6 iron into the sea of tranquility so keep your exes peeled. I think it was a Titleist”

I remember as a kid reading dispatches from the reporters in the crowds at the Cape watching shuttle launches. They all described the jubilation when the rockets fired followed by a stunned silence. People cried and hugged each other, astounded at what they’ve just seen

We’re about to launch human beings into outer fucking space

Swept them hoes

The Astros might not be good. The Red Sox might be that bad