Wilmington, Delaware. It’s just a credit card company pretending to be a city, not to mention all the crooked NBA refs.

Haunted baby shoes.

Okay, maybe the entire third quarter was a poor programming choice.

Homer Alert: Dame rambling on the broadcast is getting me pumped!

This kicks ass. youraislopbores.me

Oh cute! Blazers are in Charlotte, so Tom Haberstroh is hanging out on the broadcast.

What I want is someone in the corner like an ASL translator just doing jerking-offf motions the entire time.

Wait, wasn’t Yang Hansen supposed to kiss Jokic?

Big pop in the crowd for Sidy on his first possession of the game. Hell yeah.

For those about to quirk.

Shoulda learned to dribble. C’est la vie.

Giannis wins every year. (Brought to you by Samsung Galaxy)

Kanye Twitty. Is that anything?

Vít Wejčí

Whoever keeps fucking with the cables in the TV truck in Milan: Stop it!

I’m watching so much curling. I refuse to do any research on how any of it works, I’m going to get it all from context clues. And honestly, I feel like I’m getting further away from it.

I just wish Kevin & Lamar were here to see this.

Stoked to see the Moda Center on a national broadcast game, but Peacock’s broadcast team couldn’t even hold the door for Kevin and Lamar.

2018: As the elevator door closes in the Beacon Hotel in NYC, I look out into the lobby and say to myself “Holy shit, that’s David Crosby!”

Gotta keep your head on a swivel for good spoonerisms, they’re everywhere. Tonight’s football game, for instance, Briefs-Chonkos

I am invincible!

Olivia Nuzzi what have you done

TLDR: Follow the Blazers’ lead!

In this house, we celebrate Toyotathon as the one true Nationwide Sales Event.

Pistons Magic game just went to commercial on a slo mo montage of both teams yelling at the refs…

What in god’s name have TV providers been doing to our nation’s old people? I’m trying to turn on the football game in Detroit and the whole thing is a mess!

My brother-in-law has lived in Detroit most of his life, but isn’t a big basketball fan. Watching PHI ORL tonight, he came into the room and immediately said “Oh no, not Andre Drummond!”

Sweetgreen exists so that one or two people in the writers room can bum everyone out when it’s their turn to pick lunch. Close everything everywhere except for Burbank, it’s simple supply and demand.

“I still do drugs, but I used to too.”

NBA refs seem extra bad this season, which is a bad look with all the gambling stuff.

It’s only a matter of time before I fuck this up.

Has anyone else ever smugly held in a burp?

I remember when Saddiq Bey was on the Pistons and I was in Detroit for Thanksgiving they would play “ey bey bey” every time he got a bucket and I loved that.

Willie Green spent halftime googling Edible Arrangements Portland Oregon

More confusing slow-motion reviews for potential flagrants! More!

If you’re in line, STAY IN LINE!

where do these guys buy their teeth, home depot?

Blazers are losing more than Clippers are winning…

Woof, I thought I had a rough day at work…

Oh no, guys. Sexy Chauncey Billups.

C’mon guys, he’s not getting any less dead.

Ruin a book by adding Tom Clancy’s to the title Tom Clancy’s Beowulf

[fly restaurant] excuse me waiter? there's a guy in my poop!

It's so funny to me that Andrew Cuomo was leading in the polls until he started running.

How it started, how it’s going.

I would love to see a video of Cuomo trying to shake hands with black guys on the streets of NY.

Doris Burke is a treasure.