NYT Wedding Announcement 2030: A girl. A Bluesky acct w no followers that only posts censored portmanteaus. She graduated first in her bitcoin mining class. NewSwears.RyanGosling.social has been shadowbanned 100 times. Both AI. She proposed before a power outage. They tied the knot in Club Penguin.

“Hey can I shower at your place?” “Sure we have two showers, I just need to know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert.”

If you’re going to ask a gardener what the temperature is you have to be okay with “I’d wait to put your tomatoes out” as an answer

My heart rate still hasn’t come down from this

“ #Gardening is so calming!” I say right before I accidentally catch a whole bird in my raised bed #SongSparrow rescue tax in comments 1/2

Genealogy is not that hard First Cousin is when your aunt says “I’m pregnant with your first cousin!” First Cousin, Once Removed, is when your aunt says “The doctor is delivering your first cousin and once removed, we can take her home!”

Boss: [stops by your desk] It’s Bike to Work Week, but — You: [knotting a tie on your bike’s handlebars and putting a nametag on it] Yeah how do I get them registered with payroll? #BikeToWorkWeek #BikeMonth #PuttingTheRollInPayroll

Is it an experiment that will be published in Science? No. But it’s pretty clean evidence that speed cushions work to lower speeds, which is what they are intended to do. Speed cushions treatment: 35mph➡️30mph No cushions controls: Still 35mph Thanks @seattledot.bsky.social for posting your Ws.

A solid note for #journalists reporting on ‘e-bikes’: Correctly identifying vehicles not only reveals you’re familiar w your #news coverage area, but informs readers/policy and potentially encourages use of legal #ebikes that can provide *life-changing transportation*.

Happy Mothers Day to all the other dog moms who were like “it’s super weird when people call dogs their babies” … until they met their own dog

She’s a handful in the best way 💕 🐕

I don’t know who needs to hear this but go ride a bike the next chance you get

In 2020, Seattle parking garages were empty & we had a renaissance of ppl using them as skate parks (me included). We don’t need this much space for parking (they’re designed for aspirational lvls of use), AND there’s latent demand to use lots in pro-social ways (let alone convert them to housing).

“Seattle Guy who is lucky enough to spend time near super-endangered marine life decides to assault them and yell about how rich and untouchable he is” if this guy has a yacht the orcas are already ripping it apart www.khon2.com/maui-county-...

How your email finds me

The #TransitDog of the day is helping kids bike to school.💜

Photo tax from being Bike to School Day Caboose:

Google: We have detected unusual activity on your account. You’ve played this video 4,000 times in the past day. Me: Thank you for flagging. I need to play it at least 1,000 more times. #hippos @sheldricktrust.bsky.social youtube.com/shorts/Txuv_...

It’s #BikeToSchoolDay! Did you know you can just…start your day helping kids on bikes and their parents get to school and celebrating with stickers and music all before the bell rings!? Cannot recommend joining a #BikeBus enough. 🚲 💕! @saferoutespartners.bsky.social @bikebusworld.bsky.social

🚲You’ve reached a Bicycle Checkpoint 🚲 - If you ride bikes, high five the person next to you and proceed. - If you don’t ride bikes yet, high five the person next to you and say “I like sitting in traffic!” Proceed when you find someone who agrees with you, OR, start riding bikes.

How I carry my dog: I have three methods depending on bike and use case 1. K9 Sports Sak (no stops, just riding), but for no more than 45min bc I don’t want her legs to go numb 1/3

People driving behind me when I’m on my bike: [sundry swear words and tailgating] People driving while passing me on my bike: AAAAAAAAAAAAHPUPPPPPPEHHHHHHDIDYOUSEETHEDOGTHEPUPPYGIVETHEMSPACE

🚲 Happy first week of #BikeMonth! Time to get all fired up about traffic calming ✨ What does a comfortable street look and feel like for most of us? Slow! We took a bike tour of traffic circles, chicanes, speed cushions and other street features that keep speeds down and spirits up 🎉 🐕

IT’S BIKE MONTH and I would love for you to share with me the most unexpected, most whimsical experience you’ve had on a bike. I’ll go first.

New cyclists, has anyone told you about the Butt Callus. Say it with me. Butt Callus! Your body actually needs to get used to being in an unnatural position. You don’t need to buy extra-padded saddles or gel covers. More padding=more butt compression. 1/2

She has since made edits* to the piece to better reflect her personal style *holes

Old: I accidentally shrunk my wool sweater Bold: I have performed alchemical miracles to clothe a noble beast

Me: Gimme the Complete Streets Treatment My stylist, mixing concrete: Are we doing highlights also or

A princess ✨ #cycling #RoadSafety #CompleteStreets #Urbanism #bikes

A princess ✨ #cycling #RoadSafety #CompleteStreets #Urbanism #bikes

this is the first time scientists have observed salmon hosting dj nights and pitching poorly thought-through startup ideas in the wild

What was the best thing you saw/realized/accomplished/enjoyed while biking this week?

It will be EPIC!!

My dog is dreaming about all the great things you’re gonna do this weekend

What was the best thing you saw/realized/accomplished/enjoyed while biking this week?

Happy Earth Day! Transportation contributes roughly 40% of Washington state’s GHG emissions. Anything we can do to make it easier and more comfortable for people to choose walking/biking/rolling over driving some or all of their trips, the better. Most car trips are ~3mi or fewer.

I listened to Angine de Poitrine on my bike ride and by the end of it I had three hearts and they were all in Zone 7

You know endorphins are a thing when someone asks you how your ride was and you say “it was beautiful I saw a mailbox and a truck”

If indoor cycling companies really wanted to make virtual riding feel authentic they would fill the audio with way more screeching car tires and screaming drivers, and randomly end your ride session with pop ups letting you know a driver injured you through dooring/speeding/t-boning.

Will someone please launch a pour-over coffee kit for cyclists called Cup and Cone so I don’t have to #YouSeeItsAPun #AboutCycling #WaitComeBack

TODAY IS THE DAY

Me: Im gonna ride my bike Thunder: 🎵 Lightning: ⛈️ National Weather Service staff putting out storm alerts:

“Vocal, entitled minority”

Haven’t signed up for WE-Bike yet? You missed the first selection period but there are MANY MORE! Get your pre-application in!

The first WE-Bike selection is Monday 4/13! If you sign up before 9am tomorrow, you’ll be considered for this round. If you’re randomly selected, you’ll be invited to submit identifying documents and then receive an e-bike rebate. ebikerebate.wsdot-sites.com @wsdot.wa.gov #cycling #ebike

Was prepared for the NASA energy to be infectious bc as a kid I met John Glenn and went from “your work sounds cool” to “MR. GLENN I WANT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT” in like a minute and it took me a day to remember I dug space travel *for him* but it would conflict with my softball league schedule.

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

April 16th is Bull Kelp Day and you know what that means #BullKelpDay

Friends in Washington state! What are you doing to celebrate #BikeMonth? I manage our state's active transportation newsletter ( @wsdot.wa.gov's Walk and Roll) and want to help people learn about creative and community-building events they can join, big and small. #BikeSky 1/2

Costco is so good at what they do that they make ME feel grateful for doing THEIR recycling for them* *”Would you like a box?”