10 yrs ago a boy took a girl to Vegas, he fed her liquor, bought her nice stuff, and he caught her in a moment of weakness and got her to marry him. 🤣 It’s lead to me being married to the smartest most beautiful woman in the world. And it’s lead to her judgement being questioned every day. 🤣

@knighthawk899.bsky.social @avalanchepass.bsky.social @kingresist.bsky.social @journeyled.bsky.social @pattyger.bsky.social @alexandraholt.bsky.social @jc-planet.bsky.social @trappedin1995.bsky.social @stevevt26.bsky.social @sassysister27.bsky.social @purple-monster.bsky.social

Universe: you’re going to reincarnate during a period of great upheaval. On the verge of world war 3. And the most powerful country resembles 1930s Germany. Me: that sounds bad. Universe: there’s apple pie and Wifi. Me: you son of a bitch. I’m in.

Monday has to be the day statistically that people get punched in the teeth the most. It has to be lol

Good morning, my freaky little friends. Let’s get out there and make the donuts.

Watching the boys from Twin Paranormal on YouTube. They have a new upload today (they only post every second Sunday now but it’s a two hour video) Maybe this week they’ll feed poor little Wyatt to a demon. 🤣

Wife: I think being a cowboy fan has been good for you. It’s taught you resiliency, it’s prepared you for constant disappointment, you’ve demonstrated loyalty. Of course on the other hand, you don’t seem to learn from your mistakes, and never know when to change.

#SundayParties 🐾🎉 @theweaseltimeline.bsky.social @pattyger.bsky.social @cindyannpedersen.com @drsuemagdalene.bsky.social @womanatmile0.bsky.social @texas1962.bsky.social @sandrainpt.bsky.social @frank3845.bsky.social @trappedin1995.bsky.social @stefanangelinam.bsky.social @sarechig.bsky.social​

Who decided on the size of the football? I feel like it would be a lot funnier if the football got bigger each minute the game played. It could progress from the regular size to, say, ultimately the size of your grandmas trunk at the foot of her bed. Lol

@cindyannpedersen.com @dailykotzn.bsky.social @kevdance683514.bsky.social @ladydi2020.bsky.social @drsuemagdalene.bsky.social @womanatmile0.bsky.social @texas1962.bsky.social @sandrainpt.bsky.social @frank3845.bsky.social @trappedin1995.bsky.social #SurvivorMusic #BlueCrew #SaturdayNightParties 🎶✨​

Dutch late night TV has its take

I don’t know, bro. The older I get the more I really do wonder if I’m a hollaback girl. 😩

I like to quietly inspire people. Like whatever that thing that was in Regan MacNeil in that movie with the priests. 🤣

Well. Looks like they’ve blown up a few more fishermen. lol.

If you’ve sent more DMs than public posts, maybe this place isn’t creepy enough for you. 🤣🤣🤣

My oldest daughter is in her third week of working the ER in Winnipeg. I told her to make friends with an older experienced Filipino nurse, they are the true MVPs lol She never takes my advice. lol

Life is funny. One day you’re playing with toys, happily enjoying life…. Then all of a sudden you’re a cowboy fan and you spend the next 40 yrs of your life angry and sad. 🤣

People who sell fentanyl should get an attempted murder charge for every pill they are arrested with. Penalties served consecutively.

Me: Be careful who you choose as friends. If you hang out with stupid people, you’ll always end up in stupid situations. 13: So… hang out with smart people? Me: yeah, and hope their parents didn’t give them the same advice, or you’re fucked. 🤣

My daughter is in 3rd year medical school and is starting surgery soon. I’m terrified she’s going to ask to practice on me 🤣

I’ve never been the Dad that’s told my kids they can do whatever they want. Life should scare the shit out of you, and it demands focus and effort. My kids can achieve, earn, and work for every blood inch and I’ve raised them as such.

They say only the strong survive, but they all die in the end too. You’re doing just fine. 🤣

Me: No matter what happens in life, there’s always a way forward. But sometimes it’s on your knees slogging your way through the mud and broken glass. And you’re never the same person as you were at the end of that journey. Life was never meant to be easy, Kid. 13: uh, thanks, Dad. 😳

I like to give my 13 yr old a daily reminder not to smoke crack or give dumpster blow jobs for money. I mean, just because it’s improbable that the would, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. 🤣

I meet at least 5 people a day I’d like to spatchcock like a chicken. 🤣

Crazy street person: *hiding around the corner* I’m going to come back next week and blow you up!! Me: Oh, good. Thank you!!

@ltwlauren.bsky.social @sueview-theidiot.bsky.social @hopeful66.bsky.social @gmills56.bsky.social @bluestormcomin1.bsky.social @trappedin1995.bsky.social @vinnium.bsky.social @jasonsmithstar.bsky.social @dranadel.bsky.social @sarah421.bsky.social @jim-c.bsky.social

Sometimes it just blows me away that there is a place I can go everyday with my own little place to sit, drink coffee, chat with nice people, listen to music, AND they pay me money to do it. lol Living the dream.

Friday Friends #3 @jules1212.bsky.social @taint9.bsky.social @adoboblue.bsky.social @trappedin1995.bsky.social @soldiergirl.bsky.social @hipsterbuda11.bsky.social @mlipsitt.bsky.social @jandee924.bsky.social @randomgenericuser.bsky.social @latina4jesusdshw.bsky.social

To this day a small part of me that is still 12 yrs old is afraid this dude will be at the door when I answer lol

I am a little upset that a little dwarf named Crumpleforeskin doesn’t show up and do my work while I’m asleep.

Wow, so much turmoil… It’s almost as if you build your country on an Indian burial ground or something. 🤣🤣🤣

Everywhere I go the conversations are so negative. Gossip, anger, complaining. We’ve been conditioned to look at the ground while forgetting the stars. I love people with the temerity and audacity to walk in a room and pollute it with a positive thought, a compliment, a good joke.

I wish I was smart enough to articulate my thoughts. What the world needs right now is artists, writers, orators. Opening dialogue with their chosen mediums. A way to close the ever widening divide between people. Conflict creates conflict. Echo chambers only contain a message.

I did have a cheeseburger today, if you even care.

She’s getting weak and weary my friends, help her bear the burden of that torch through the night. My thoughts are with you friends.

Mobile bookshop.✨🚐✨

So many of my friends chose addictions that do not afford much time for a turn around and recovery. Opioids are the devil, Man.

One unsettling thing that Husbands just have to get used to is that your wife’s best friend more than likely knows things about you. Dirty, awful, private, personally filthy things.

Top 5 Intro theme music 1966 Batman tv series 1987 Duck tales tv series Married with children The flintstones The greatest American hero

I will never be the guy who sits and talks through a movie about how improbable or unrealistic something is. I hate those assholes. I’m the guy on IMDB telling you ever show someone’s been in and telling you trivia about the movie nonstop. 😳

When they make a machine that will wash, dry, and fold the clothes, I’m going all in. Wait. Oh no. That’s me. I’m that machine. 😭😭😭

Maturing is when you stop focusing on what you didn’t have, and realize what a feat it was that your single mother found a way to show up and come through as often as she did.

The more you earn, the more you spend. Make enough to live, but focus on things that won’t be around forever, the things you can’t get back when they’re gone. Kids grow up. Family will grow old and die. Your health will fade. Those are your true non renewable resources, enjoy them while you can.

As time goes on you’ll become a more family oriented person, but a less attentive friend. So keep the friends who become family, and let the rest go. - Dad Advice

I don’t give a fuck what anybody says. dissociation and compartmentalization are the Batman and robin of trauma gifted superpowers. 🤣

I’ll trust a poor man to stand by his morals and values first before I’d trust a rich man to stand by a strong moral code. Wealth and fear of protecting that wealth makes for an untrustworthy man.

Wife: what are you being for Halloween? *next day* Wife: have you picked a costume? Our Halloween party is oct 17th. *next day* Wife: have you decided what you’re going to be? Me: ABSENT! I’m going to be absent because I’m not 9 yrs old!! 🤣

Anniversary is coming up. I’m just going to put a bow on my head, because I’m already a gift. 🤣

King’s a good last name though.🤣