Call me a prude, fine, but I don’t think any man should be swallowing his own nut regardless of how many or what intermediaries he passes it through.

GOOD MORNING EAST COAST GO BACK TO BED! YOU DON’T WANT TO SEE IT!

RFK nutting sounds like someone dragging a bag of aluminum cans.

Hey they're just all bad people

Two hour nap after work = midnight squarts #fitnesssky #squarts #lunk #lunkingout

This is the permission slip many will use to dump MAGA.

The fabric: it is straining.

Senate Wavy Memes Committee

well, id like to see ol Zohlo Mamdani charm his way out of THIS trap! *Mamdani charms his way out of the trap effortlessly* ah. well. nevertheless,

I can tell the economy is great because the bank across the street has 6 repossessed trucks & SUVs sitting on their berm instead of the usual 0-2.

Vice President Milkers

He didn’t say dress up as what. You could fly as your favorite Disney or Marvel character. You could dress up as an old hobo or an astronaut.

Grok, if there were a three-way battle between Elon Musk, Donald Trump and Barack Obama to declare, once and for all, the Throat Goat, who would win?

A new federal law where you have to verify you're over 6' tall to have a lift kit installed on any truck registered in your name.

If a member of the United States military displays a swastika flag I think they should be [RADIO EDIT] and then [RADIO EDIT] and then after that they should [RADIO EDIT] and once that’s all done then they can [RADIO EDIT] themselves.

Probably ~1 in 6 Americans think this is real.

I stumbled upon a Nike training shoe a year ago that is just a perfect fit for my foot, gives crazy stability and fits like a warm hug. They're on clearance right now and I am honestly considering spending like $500 so I have shoes to squat in forever.

Your GI JOE name is Graig. The department offers its sincerest apologies.

The O.G.

Are we sure MBS has actually left

Oh, “Democrat Epstein” *posts biggest hand jacking off motion gif known to man*

Headphones dead. Backups in the car dead. We’re raw dogging the gym tonight folks.

Heartbreaking: the person you campaigned and championed to get elected does exactly what he said he would do

MRI means Meals Ready to Ingest

Me, an illegal wokester

Winter must be here because I do see snowflakes.

Is Christian Ronaldo MBS’s dog now basically

Donald Trump is brighter than the sun, jesus christ

POV: you're about to see some magnificently stupid shit

Only a couple of major news outlets (CNN, USA) are covering this at all. You would think if the goal was clicks and views, this would be all over the media. If clicks are not the goal, it makes you think about: what is?

i'm thinking about doing a live reading of Nuzzi's entire book and selling tickets to raise funds for a charity that teaches kids not to read

Fun as it is, the 'let them fight' posters aren't quite right here. You don't let them fight; you goad them, stoke the flames, force them into tighter confines, and sure as shit don't provide escape hatches.

I want a government of rage in 2029. I want to see the Kremlin exploded into one billion pieces. I want MBS dropped from the Goodyear Blimp onto midfield at halftime of the Fiesta Bowl.

Saudi Arabia traffics people into forced labor.

Let MTG and Mike Johnson fight each other out of a cage.

Any Epstein documents that the House cannot compel or the White House refuses to release, as long as they were submitted as evidence/discovery to trial at some point, would also be held by one or more of Epstein's lawyers, Epstein's estate, the victims, their estates, or their lawyers, correct?

"We're going to make sure your kids are stupid as fuck." "Yes, sir. Please."

How are the people that get upset about using EBT for prepared food or snacks going to respond when their neighbor spends their healthcare money on an e-bike or something

When did Nuzzi work at the Windsor Heights DQ?!

If you’re in or around the Trump admin, you are almost certainly a rapist.

When I’m president anyone wearing slides in the gym is getting EXECUTED.

I stand by it!

The only two guys that have any business being called a Hall of Famer on this list won't get in - Manny and ARod. But then again the geriatric jerks that constitute much of the BBWAA decided that Harold Baines is somehow worthy, so who knows.

Well, you can at least be sure things are on the up-and-up when they're being spearheaded by terrible DJ and heir to the Benihana restaurant fortune Steve Aoki.

There are a lot of things that aren’t legal to say.

Then they came for the failsons, and I did nothing, because fuck them.

I’m doing it I’m muting the Elizabeth lady she’s too dumb

"Who was president in 2020" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

What people don’t get about Olivia Nuzzy’s writing is that being excessively verbose != good writing.

Mite spend all day in the medbed today