Dear neighbors, One of you needs to replace the batteries in your smoke alarm. Do you not hear that loud-ass beep every 90 seconds? Your closest pal, Jared

I really fucked up when I grabbed this grocery store sushi. I didn’t read that it was brown rice. I didn’t see the huge lumps of imitation crab in the middle. I didn’t catch that it was absolutely drowning in unagi sauce. Absolute shitshow over here.

Imagine being mad you didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize while you’re busy stirring up Civil War in your own country.

Ok, but like WHY does Qatar need an Air Force facility in Idaho? What’s the strategic purpose for them? For us?

Tonight, I exported the tracks of the last Dogcatcher song to send to the mixing engineer. This album is in its 6th year of production. I will finish this album if it kills me.

I want to eat fudge.

I’m walking in the neighborhood behind the laundromat and a coyote just sprinted down the middle of the street right in front of me. This is a fully suburban area and we were only three blocks off El Camino, which is a major 6-lane thoroughfare. Where you goin, buddy?

Please, if you have the privilege of not being an obvious and immediate target for state violence... Call them fascists, loudly, ESPECIALLY right now. Call yourself an antifascist, loudly, ESPECIALLY right now. We all need to be Spartacus on this one.

Fighting for my life

I don’t know how many years this has been our text group name but somewhere in the 5-10 year range.

Lacy and I got home from dinner with a friend fresh out of alcohol rehab and were like… “Open a bottle of wine?”

Sisyphus pushing the boulder, but there’s someone on the other side of the boulder pushing back.

Every year, people always forget that in the Bay Area it’s still summer until at least Halloween.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

When you play a hometown gig, you could possibly run into old hometown people you haven’t seen in 25 years… Like your ex-girlfriend!

::90’s modem noises and frantic typing:: I’m in!

My personal opinion is that she should primary Schumer’s Senate seat with the campaign slogan: Retire, bitch!

the fact that a sitting US president is talking about antifascism being terrorism should tell you a lot about what he thinks his own government represents

In reviewing the rehearsal footage that we spliced together for our lil Dogcatcher promo vid on Insta, I regret to inform you that many members of our band now have “Old Man Hands”. Myself included.

the kimmel thing is bad but as long as they arent rounding people up indiscriminately based on race, building concentration camps and talking about eradicating those they deem sexual deviants, i think we’ll be ok

It’s getting real faschy around here. Good on the musicians union for calling it out in clear language.

RIP Avengers: Endgame star Robert Redford

Smells like burning. Must be fire season in Northern California.

Dumbass cat wants to sit in direct sunlight in the bathroom window when it’s 87° out.

A dude I know from my former life as a church musician is doing a campaign where he’s taking his church’s worship band to do their worship music thing in various public parking structures around his city. Guys, can you just be normal please? Keep it inside your church.

My very good friend Ramon has been doing minor league baseball games for his birthday celebration for the last few years. He mentioned to me this morning that he has a couple extra tickets for the Oakland Ballers tonight to see if my kid wanted to invite a friend…

it's been pretty revelatory that in order to do Kirk the kindness of painting him in a wholesome light here on the hour of his death, one must go to gymnastic lengths to avoid any mention of his literal statements and beliefs which is pretty odd for a celebrated debater

Sick to my stomach. It’s just not right. I don’t understand this country anymore. Ego Nwodim is leaving SNL.

Pretty regularly there’s a post on Reddit that’s like “What was your first Legend of Zelda game?” Bitch, I’m from the 80’s! The first Legend of Zelda game I played was called Legend of Zelda!

That man's last words were trying to deflect a conversation about gun violence onto "gang violence". He left this world on the wings of racism.

nobody should die like that and guns are still the fucking problem

Furry friends tonight. Bandit the dog at band rehearsal. The cats (Lady in my lap, Zoë on the ottoman) at home.

I recognize that I have posted a few Shit Talk™️ posts recently, but I would like to assure you that I am a Perfect Little Angel®️ and no one would ever have any bad things to say about me. 😇

Speaking of music and waiting… Playing a festival at the end of the month and they haven’t announced the line-up yet. Our drummer to the organizer: Hey, when are you guys announcing the line-up so we can promote? Organizer: When we update the website.

Just waiting on a person who has 24-hour access to a full recording studio in their house. And while I wait (weeks) just imagining all the things I could get done if I had a full recording studio in my house. Or even just a house!

Disinforming this bad via official government channels should result in prison time.

There’s a musician that I know in real life that (in my experience) is a huge jackhole. They popped up in my Insta ads, as a spokesperson for a piece of music gear. Quite a jumpscare. Good pitch, tho. I actually considered buying [product] for a moment.

I apologize to anyone who has eaten tritip that I’ve prepared in the past. I finally fuckin nailed it tonight.

Ok, conundrum… You’re offered to have your song on a movie soundtrack alongside Bob Dylan and others. The movie is a biopic of Ronald Reagan. What do you do? (This didn’t happen to me, but… I know someone…)

Was reminded by several well-meaning people that today is my (dead) mom’s bday. Honestly does nothing for me. But when I think about my kid playing a lead role in Hadestown two months ago and my mom not being there to see it… that chokes me up.

NYT Games put the mini-crossword behind a pay/subscription wall.

Super fucked. But deserved. The rest of the world is like, “Yo, you guys are fucking up.”

“This Year” by @themountaingoats.bsky.social, but like… every year.

yeah I'll incorporate AI into my workflow. the workflow of my butt

jfc

If I had a nickel for every time the School of Rock teaching franchise (not the movie) screwed over a family I know, I would have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

Dude who was blatantly hitting on my wife right in front of me at my friend’s wedding years ago wants to be Facebook friends again. Uhhhhhh, nope!

I think the fact that the president can make up a bullshit pretext about crime, activate various states' national guard units and invade a major city with basically minimal pushback of any kind reflects very poorly on Americans generally