if my medical provider doesn't make our time together even a little bit erotic wtf am i even having my appendix removed for

this is from a song you may recognize, but with a clever twist - one of the lyrics has been changed to something vulgar. see if you can spot where the shift occurs

his palms are sweaty, knees weak, balls are heavy

seeking musicians for a cover band to play only the songs from the album 'chipmunks on 16 speed - sludgefest', the alvin and the chipmunks album slowed down

this account is now sponsored by babynames.com

could i start a burger chain called ten guys or does five guys' trademark give them de facto ownership of burger space branding involving any number of guys

Spongebob Big Guy Pants Okay

spongebob big guy pants okay.

SpongeBob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay

SPONGEBOB BIG GUY PANTS OKAY

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

SpongeBob big guy pants okay 🙂‍↕️

SpongeBob, big guy pants, okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

Spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

Spongebob Big Guy Pants Okay

SpongeBob Big Guy Pants Okay

spongebob big guy pants, okay?

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

spongebob big guy pants okay

movie idea: someone put a bomb on a bus. and if the bus slows down, the bomb explodes. call it something simple and catchy, like "fast bus"

two episodes into pluribus and oh yeah i'm #TeamUs

my sexual fantasies: "your plex server is soooooo cool"

i'm not actively dating but i am hoping the list of movies in my account history is mysterious and eclectic enough to entice an as-of-yet unidentified gorgeous and charming video rental store employee three states away to slip their number into the next envelope

not to rain on anyone's parade or anything but it was 75 degrees yesterday on november 4th in denver so when can we expect this democratic momentum will lead to some kind of climate action

coworker on a zoom call sneezed loudly, muted for a conspicuously long period of time, and her first words back were "sneeze louise!" like it was an expletive

every other saturday i spend ten to fourteen hours ripping movie rentals to a big hard drive. no i don't watch the movies. the hobby is storing the files. i am looking for the love of my life

i am worried my dog may be love bombing me

installed the sims on my work computer and made sims of all my coworkers as my wives. got fired

if you buy all your shampoo from amazon they know how often you shower and if you don't buy enough they put you in a database of stinky customers

starfield is such a tragedy because the reasons it sucks run so deep and the reasons it's good are so surface-level but somehow it manages to feel like a huge missed opportunity anyway

climate scientists believe that by 2030 all of november through february (previously called 'winter') will be shorts-and-hoodie weather

when you really think about it a refrigerator is just a place to put your food to keep it cold

i'm going to start putting twenty bucks on whoever the vikings are playing so i either get to be happy that my team wins or happy that i made four dollars

the minnesota vikings are simply lulling the league into a false sense of security. no one will expect an eight game run when we're 3-6

does anyone know why it now takes somewhere between five minutes and eight months to receive 2FA codes when it used to be like a 25-second affair

this tattoo is very ugly. which is probably more disqualifying than a tattoo which is evil

okay. i gotta admit though. this scratches the itch. this is classic battlefield stuff and it feels great