I notice the free speech warriors weren’t up in arms when hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza was done for inciting violence. What was it about hook-handed cleric Abu Hamza that stopped them defending his free speech?

Last month, while being bothered by wasps at a picnic table, a woman told me that clicking my fingers at them would make them go away. After testing this thoroughly I’m happy to report that it works in 90% of cases* and also makes me look like a wasp-banishing Fonz. Recommend.

North Bridge Media has sponsored a Fringe Award w/Neurodiverse Review and the shortlist is out! It's for comedy writing in any Fringe category by d/Deaf, disabled or neurodivergent writers. Here's the fantastic shortlist - all great shows: (1/2)

The ongoing whipped up nonsense about asylum seekers in hotels is a rare example of very angry consensus. The racists don’t want people in hotels, the government don’t want people in hotels and the people in the hotels don’t want to be in hotels. Everyone agrees. Just let people work

Grand Prix of Europe opens in UK cinemas this Friday. Positive reviews are already coming in for this fun, fast-paced rodent racing movie - which features a stellar cast (Gemma Arterton, Thomas Brodie-Sanger, Hatley Atwell, Lenny Henry) and smatterings of general script-polishy nonsense by me.

Oh, this is very, very good - how LLMs use the same techniques as psychics. softwarecrisis.dev/letters/llme...

made a handy little novel title generator for you

DuckDuckGo has added a feature to filter out AI images from search results.

Read my open letter with @laylamoran.bsky.social regarding #Gaza ⬇️

Please don't plug keyboards or other devices into random USB ports, ok?

Hey YouTube, if you actively want me to stop me ever buying Lucozade ever, the best way to do it would be to interrupt the limited-time Cardiacs video I'm trying to watch every two ACTUAL MINUTES asking if I can let you see me, let you see me Cherry fucking Hill.

Sadly, the BBC rejected my proposal that they should replace all the Wallace & Torode segments from the new Masterchef with a quick animated summary by 7-zark-7.

SO regret I won’t get the chance to let Mecha-hitler take control of my steering wheel.

I'm currently at a housing conference & it's a slightly out of body experience politically, given the vibe here is thrilled with getting £39bn + basically all they asked for in spending review. Not that govt isn't in deep trouble elsewhere but it's a striking eg of how easily the popular stuff...

If I knew how to quote post to a thread, I’d post this as a reply to me complaining about Northern city transport links last week, and say something smug like “Well well well…”

“They are building a techno-authoritarian surveillance state. We can see that happening in real time. This is huge amounts of data on every single person in America that can and will be used in opaque & unaccountable ways—and it is terrifying.” Must watch interview with @carolecadwalla.bsky.social.

When you receive the email you’ve been dreading, about how your outstanding royalties will now *not* be honoured by your ex-publisher’s new shiny identity, they try to reassure you by saying this person or that person on the board is “working for free” and “not taking a salary”… >>

I am begging for a Hollywood movie or TV writer to make something that features realistic 'artificial intelligence'

Hey fans of animated movies that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on - have a look at the trailer to this animated movie that I wrote additional material and dialogue polish on… www.grand-prix-of-europe.com/en/

My mate Cussie makes the paper…!

Hm. The government focussing on the number one concern of Leave voters just ahead of a major reset with the EU… I wonder what it could all mean…?

How much blue and yellow smoke inhalation is a fatal amount? #lufc

Ow! I think I injured my thumb liking posts about Leeds being Champions.

Used to amuse us as kids that my nan would call a can of coke a tin - assumed it was what they were called back in her day. But I’ve just offered my daughter a tin of alcohol-free cider and now thinking it’s just something you start doing when you get older.

i just googled "even ironic use of generative ai harms the planet meaning" and you would NOT believe what it came up with!!

My daughter is making us rewatch Handmaid’s Tale with her as she’s never seen it. I cannot stress enough what a terrible idea that is in 2025, unless you really enjoy spending your nights lying awake staring bleakly at the ceiling.

LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- (deep breath) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDS

(Content warning: The football) Yeeesss!! C'mon Leeds!!!! (End of content warning)

(Content warning: The football) Yeeesss!! C'mon Leeds!!!! (End of content warning)

Is it needy to re-tweet people who say the series you wrote on extensively is one of the best ever in the hopes that just one of them might follow you? A: Yes. But that’s not going to stop me.

Jeremy Clarkson voice: “and that is why Danger Mouse is the best British TV series … in the world.”

This is the correct opinion and I encourage more people to have it.

So bye-bye, big American lie Bought a chevy cos the levy on the import was high But good old boys still drink whiskey and rye While singin', "This is how our country will die This is how our country will die”

I can announce that I have successfully negotiated our return back into the EU

Woke up at 4am to hear folkie sea shanty singing coming from the back garden. Opened the window to hear it was an unseen man chanting "Thank you for my salvation". Sounded really close. No sign of anyone. Wife thinks one of the neighbours is having a breakdown. I think we've moved to Summerisle.

Please sign and share this petition which calls for the UK government to improve care and research for Parkinson’s

ACTORS: Comedy is much harder than drama. WRITERS: Comedy is much harder than drama. DIRECTORS: Comedy is much harder than drama. EDITORS: Comedy is much harder than drama. JOURNALISTS, AWARDS PANELS, CRITICS:

Is this the part of War of the Worlds where everyone goes about their daily lives despite the sounds of hammering from the pit? Only I was planning a takeaway and “Would I Lie To You”, but maybe I should make a start on my new underground civilisation in the sewers.

Threeeeee. (Football)

Remember when smart phones first became a thing? Loads of people stopped smoking because they now had something else to do with their hands. I’m now seriously considering smoking again, just to stop doomscrolling. I think it might turn out to be healthier.

PITCH: An updated version of the curse of Cassandra where she's describing things that are happening now, in front of everyone, but still isn't believed.

So, to recap: the suggestion is: the UK creative industries grant open access to all their historic and future work and IP, without payment, to the brains behind a nascent industry that just tanked $1tn in a couple of hours. Sure. Seems great.

This is such a lovely exchange - and as a bonus you get to reread Tony Slattery’s Phony Cattery.

At the Bradford 2025 opening ceremony. Spectacular and joyous. Inspiring.

I lost an argument with an American.

Now then, is it bad luck not to finish all the Baileys by the end of Twelfth Night? (Please advise, my good fortune is at stake here).

Wow! What a clever way to frame a report on Bradford City of Culture @itvnews.bsky.social! Southerners think Bradford’s bleak, apparently, so obviously you should just thrust a microphone at people and ask them about that rather than, y’know, culture. Condescending pig ignorance. Well done.

Having got a posh coffee machine for Christmas I can now confidently say that people who insist on freshly roasted beans “because the coffee tastes better” are bullshitting. The actual reason people want freshly roasted beans is because they make you rush your tits off.

This is Leeds City Council's consultation on Abbey House Museum. Please fill it in if you are a Leeds resident and retweet to let our voices be heard. #history #Leeds. bit.ly/AHMconsultat...