Protect your hands (and eyes) when handling fireworks! And keep fireworks away from children and pets at ALL times.

Seasonal greetings carbon based calamities ! I just experienced my first Christmas and well… it’s probably best if you just read how it went 🎄👽 @northwestbylines.co.uk

Tyldesley residents are demanding greater transparency in the planning permission that greenlighted a huge warehouse development | Harrison Budak

A delve into the history of Wigan, a town that was once richer than Liverpool and Manchester | LDRS Press release

Oh dear. Naughty Grzz'lax! And the mince pie thing will ring a bell with many non-British people, I never got over the idea that something was wrong with the things and atill don't like them. northwestbylines.co.uk/lifestyle/a-...

Greetings to my favourite carbon based calamities !!!! It is I, Xylb’tok your favourite Martian back again beer in hand popcorn at the ready to give you my takedown on whatever it is you guys think you are doing down there. No seriously of what ARE you doing down there?! Let us proceed 👽

Harrowing reading, and so brave of Calleigh to share this with us. Far too often do women not know how to talk about sexual violence like this. That man should be so ashamed. But he probably just got on with his life.

Greetings once again carbon based drama lllama ding dongs! I cast my gaze once again to your carnival of chaos you call politics. Strap in friends this I bumpier than the Musk/Donny breakup 😏👽 👇🏻

The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow

Tweet of the evening.

Greetings Earthlings from Mars where miraculously we’ve managed another week of not calling a female reporter a derogatory name because unlike some people we don’t have serious overcompensation issues or fragile masculine egos 😏 👽 Shall we? 👇🏻 @northwestbylines.co.uk

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Greetings carbon based life forms! I really hope you have stocked up on popcorn and drinks because this is a doozy Strap yourself in @northwestbylines.co.uk

Thankyou Judy Copage for everything you have done for us over your time as Central Bylines Editor in Chief, but today we welcome our new EiC Gemma Gould. Judy remains an ever valuable part of our editors team and indeed our editor training programme. @copagej.bsky.social @gemmagould.bsky.social

BYLINES NETWORK SPECIAL For 30 years, survivors of abuse by Mohamed Al Fayed have been silenced, threatened and blocked from justice. Their voices must be heard. Isabella reveals the barriers they face and the vital changes that need to happen. Read it at sussexbylines.co.uk & bit.ly/LegalAbyss

Anna Schurer recalls two memories that make Remembrance Day in the North West extra poignant for her | Anna Schurer

Trans and cis people united in a heartwarming display of kindness outside the Scottish (Holyrood) Parliament on 1 November  | Sophie Molly

Since the May elections Reform UK Ltd has lost (resigned, fired, left the party) 36 councillors at least. At an average cost of £25,000 per by-election that means they have cost the country £900,000 What a waste of money, how many schoolmeals would that buy for hungry children?

Is it possible for the US to set tariffs on New York? Asking for a... well, not exactly a friend

Greetings Earthlings! This message has been buffering for two solar cycles nearly. Martian dust storm seems to have knocked out one of our antennas Anyway let’s get down to the business of your tragicomedy that is playing out right now Oh and remember the star shape goes in the star hole 😏👽

The next missive from our Martian Correspondent. No time to sleep on Mars! @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social Tariffs over adverts, magnets on carriers, Grokipedia rewriting reality and a Nuclear Peace Prize application, Earth’s comedy of errors continues northwestbylines.co.uk/politics/opi...

I'm deceased. Basically the German manufacturers decided to capitalise on the fact their kit was successfully used to rob the Louvre in Paris. 😆💀

The Martian has dropped a surprise transmission on the #NoKings protests

Dear America Happy #NoKings Day! Take it from us up here there is nothing more American than opposing a mad king Let’s go the Frog Rebellion 🐸

From tariffed peace to tantrums over Time covers, Earth’s leaders outdo themselves again in vanity, chaos and cosmic absurdity Written especially for us Earthlings by @xylbtokthemartian.bsky.social northwestbylines.co.uk/politics/opi...

Greetings carbon based drama llamas ! I’m back once again with a cocktail and popcorn to try and make some sense of this political farce you have going on down there. This week has been wild. Grab a drink and strap in it’s gonna get bumpy 👽 @northwestbylines.co.uk

Normal? Not me. That would be an insult, being called 'normal'

Greetings carbon based calamities! What a week it’s been. Generals LOTS!!!! President BAD!!!!! Leadership TERRIBLE!!!! AI Videos FASHY!!!! Someone hold my beer 👽

From his weekend, until October 5th The Nottingham Goose Fair at the Forest Recreation Ground, with a SEND session every Sunday. Fun for the children, great food, worth going if you are in the area! Read my review from last year here: @centralbylines.co.uk centralbylines.co.uk/lifestyle/fe...

Why doesn't he start with digital ID cards for all those with Settled Status, we have been asking the government for that for years. Would be much better than 'online status only' and relying on the often malfunctioning Home Office computers.

Fuel poverty is a reality for many households. And this is critical because a cold house can cause ill health and social marginalisation.

From UN rants to elbowed Canadians,and Disney’s climbdown to phantom wars, Planet Earth proves chaos is apparently a leadership strategy northwestbylines.co.uk/business/ear...

Marcus Ryder is a huge figure in the factual news world and has a new book, with Sir Lenny Henry, The Big Payback talks about Reparations to address the legacy of slavery. He chats with @benjitoon.bsky.social and @annesjoukje.bsky.social about the book and his experiences. tinyurl.com/Bynetpod

Another big step towards understanding the condition and maybe a cure. www.prnewswire.com/news-release...

Lawsuits HUGE!!! The FAKEST numbers!!!! Protests BIGLY!!! This week your absurdity is crazier than a Martian dust storm Fear not carbon life forms I am here to digest your ever increasingly unhinged behaviour. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!! 👽😏

*taps mic* is this thing on ?! Greetings Earthlings! I’m back once again to attempt to make sense of whatever is going on down there. Grab your popcorn we have rock shock, ambassadors getting yeeted and of course President Clementina is being fashy THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

Of course we all believe this twist! Humble Trump tried to save those girls. Yeah right. Heard it all now. Those two words fo not beling in the same sentence even, humble and Trump. NOTHING HUMBLE ABOUT THE GUY

Love this Martian. "At least felines bring poise, mystery, and the occasional dead mouse"

Brilliant article this! Made me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Painted St George crosses on roundabouts – honestly, where are our British standards for honouring the dragonslayer? centralbylines.co.uk/opinion/thes...

I love old texts like that

Today is the 80th anniversary of the final end of world war two. Eighty years since my great grandmother, great uncle, aunt, and cousins were freed from the camps run by the Japanese and started the long road back to recovery.

Fucking hell someone better alert Lowe 😳

Know the facts! 👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 Dispelling harmful misinformation about M&S 'trans' bra fitting row share.google/6fjNBBTZ4xcu...

Karma is a bitch I am a veterinarian I love bitches www.lbc.co.uk/world-news/b...

Big Breakfast’s slogan that breakfast is the most important meal is now universally accepted by nutritionists and doctors – but not by me | Anna Schurer northwestbylines.co.uk/lifestyle/fo...

Smart! Raven loves winning Tic Tac Toe.