OH MY GOD I HEARD HIS LEG SNAP 😱

I’ve said it before but coming from a family of amazing singers and top tier cooks, live music and trendy restaurants (and live music AT trendy restaurants!) are hard to enjoy

Happy #WineWednesday! My roommate is out of town on a cruise so I finally have the chance to deep clean the whole apartment while downing a 1.5 liter bottle of sangria In two hours 🙂‍↕️

Currently drinking beer, watching 2022 World Cup re-runs, and crocheting a blanket 🙂

Is it me or did Hulu double up on the PrEP commercials for Pride Month lol

Just saw a lady walking five pit bulls on the beltline

My Daddy. Ain’t no man I met better or cooks better. Other than me.

My cousin invited me to her birthday trip to Houston so naturally I set my hinge location to there and I’ve gotten so many more likes than I do in Atlanta. Should I move?

The onion…???

Not my old boss on LinkedIn looking for a job 😭

Since LinkedIn and Indeed wanna post fake jobs, I’ll give them fake answers. How many years of experience do I have as a professional engineer you ask? Thirty.

I need these “dating” apps to be prepared for the World Cup matches in Atlanta. I don’t have time for them to be crashing, I’m trying to make some foreign billionaire fall in love with me and rescue me from this country 😭

Do orgasms get stronger with age?

Happy 2,026th birthday Earth 🥳🌍

On hinge having a ✨spicy✨conversation with a catfish

I WILL be in a speedo this summer at least once 😤

I still ain’t forget what you did to Princess Shireen you firecracker head ass hoe!!!

Congratulations to @agiftofzeus.bsky.social and @jeniusj.blacksky.app, First Place finishers of the Inaugural #BlackskyFitness 5K. Everyone who entered and completed their Walk or Run was a winner and an important part of our fitness community. Thanks to all that participated and inspired others!

When it costs $100 to fill up my Corolla I hope my coworkers don’t expect me to show up to work.

Sprained my ankle Friday night so I used my run from when I was drunk on April 2 for my #BlackSkyFitness 5k race time 😅

Yay Penis Homosex 👁️👄👁️

Update: I did run very drunk. #RunnersOfBluesky

Drunken Spring cleaning

When Whitney said 🎶 EEE EEE EEE 🎶 i felt it in my spirit

Pre-shower shit thought: In college I told my friends I buy Angel Soft lavender scented toilet paper and they clowned me and now guess what them niggas wipe they ass with!

Okay so I’m 2 glasses in and I think I’m about to take a shower and then run to my Tuesday Thursday run club to then run again with them

About to mix Peach Crown with sangria blanco…

“Holistic wellness” but it’s crack??? 😭

Me trying to figure out who to cheer for in the World Cup

Just had a hot honey chicken tender salad from Publix and there was literally more fried chicken than vegetables and that’s why y’all backs big now and I’m not taking any more recommendations from TikTok. It slapped though.

New guy at work said he drinks a half gallon of whole milk a day, I’m pretty sure he’s a cow in a human skin suit

My supervisor got ChatGPT to write a spaghetti western about me

Been looking forward to this trip for a month and definitely needed it after this week. Never mind 🙃

My fuel right before that 3.5 mile run

I will take every chance I get to run in a costume 🍀

jumbo marg just made me fall asleep on the toilet

Knew it was gonna be a good day when the coffee shop accidentally made me two chai lattes this morning and gave me the extra

Not everybody was meant to be in your life forever. Stop chasing down the ones you grew away from.

Imposter syndrome.

Yesterday it was 82° in Birmingham, AL. Today it’s snowing. Large corporations and the 1% are killing the planet and she’s fighting back now.

I saw a guy tweet that the job market is so bad he’s following his dreams 😩 Lemme get back to writing this book I started brainstorming two years ago

The outcome 😀

This just popped up in my memories from 3 years ago

Last time my sinus pressure was this debilitating it turned out to be COVID 🤧

Keeps me at peace bc it could be sooooo much worse

peaceful

It feels great. However, like dating I had to kiss MANY frogs to get to the one.

What’s it like having a job that you don’t hate? Bonus points if it also pays you well

If nobody ever asks me to be in their wedding again it’ll be too soon

Never worn a jockstrap before but I just ordered some from Amazon to see how they feel 😬