When Truth Becomes Treason. First Colbert. Now Kimmel. Criticize power → get fired. That’s not democracy. It’s fascism. Read the entire truth here 👇

Goodnight 🌙 Fuck ABC

In response to all your prayers, I can report that Donald is not long for this world, what with the swollen cankles and bruised hands and sausage fingers and such. Please bear with the Reaper. They haven’t failed at this yet.

HEY DONOLD — YOU’RE NOT GETTING INTO HEAVEN SO STOP ASKING! WE DON’T LET PEDOS IN! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! - GOD

You didn't need a video of a Red Panda eating grapes, but here you go #bluesky ... 😊

This is what happens when everyone knows gramps shouldn't be driving but no one wants to take away his keys.

Hey NBC and Seth Meyers, y’all need to book the largest possible venue in D.C. on April 26th and do a competing fundraiser and comedy show that actually celebrates the First Amendment. Televise it. Make Amber Ruffin the central act. Send a message that free speech is non-negotiable.

All I’m saying is, Sleepy Joe kept you sleeping *peacefully* when it came to your 401k 🤷🏾‍♂️

I’m not ok & that’s ok. It’s not remotely close to being “normal” times, it’s pure chaos in the USA now. It’s ok if you’re not ok, it means that u care 4 others & hate seeing our Constitution & Democracy under threat. It’s ok because we stand against fascism & tyranny. What’s NOT ok is giving up! ❤️

It's only classified as terrorism when you punch up.

Posting this by lunch

I don’t argue with people who would’ve gotten zero personal pan pizzas in the summer reading program

"One of the great tragedies of mankind is that morality has been hijacked by religion. So now people assume that religion and morality have a necessary connection. But the basis of morality is really very simple and doesn't require religion at all." Arthur C. Clarke

Shout-out to everyone keeping me out of schools. I don't want to be there either.

Fyi: Old is most definitely a mindset doesn’t have shit to do with age!

Universal healthcare isn’t just a pipe dream folks. Early human societies thrived by sharing resources and caring for the sick to ensure collective survival. It’s already in your code!

You are enough♥️

Yale Asian American: from 30% to 24% Black: Remained steady at 14% Princeton Asian American: from 26% to 23.8% Black: Decreased from 9% to 8.9% Duke Asian American: from 35% to 29% Black: Increased from 12% to 13% source: www.nytimes.com/2024/09/17/u... #AddToBlackSky

President Biden‘s official statement on pardoning his son youtu.be/wzaFjVsWdcs?...

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll contribute to the global overdepletion of the ocean. So give him a salad, maybe.

I gotta lay down soon so I don't sleep through Thanksgiving

I'm starting a Thanksgiving tradition where I get drunk and sing Bridge Over Troubled Water and fall in the mashed potatoes