Watching the Dia De Los Muertos parade in Mexico City, silently judging the bagpipers for cultural appropriation.

I saw a CBP arrest as I was driving the kids to school this morning. Unmarked cars, plainclothes thugs wearing masks. It was awful.

OK. It's going to be coming out soon because of the relentless investigations of Pam Bondi and Kash Patel, so I might as well admit it before the news breaks: I am the General Counsel of Antifa.

As someone who lives in Portland, I struggle to communicate how bizarre the news is right now. This is the most boring-ass city.

One Battle After Another lived up to expectations

Happening now in war ravaged Portland: the city's Parks and Recreation Department (the most subversive of all government entities, is giving away trees.

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

It is honestly still shocking to me that he seems to have the mental capacity of warm oatmeal.

Gotta hide my contraband

Love getting the holiday schedule email from qualityshrinkfilm.com

the Wikipedia entry for axolotls reads like a Cake song

Gonna give wcw the runs

Every year I relate more and more to this comic and I don't like it

Very good article explaining halmarks of bad research (through the specific lens of vaccine/autism studies): www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

Watching a magician named Scott. Not "Scott the Magician". Not "Scott the Magnificent". Just "Scott".

Putting gochujang on my gochujang

This has been said in lots of ways but it is worth repeating; this is extremely impressive. If you asked a dog “who is the best basketball player ever” and it said “Jichsel Mordon” you would be unbelievably impressed. But you wouldn’t hire the dog as your junior analyst, because the answer is LeBron

It's so weird that velociraptors look nothing like velociraptors.

I find that tops & bottoms tend to get along well.

I'm feeling grumpy, so in an attempt to change that I am posting these old fake Antiques Roadshow pictures that make me laugh

engagement bait isn't cool. repost if you agree

Gym bros debating the Laffer curve today

wtf does "lower end of median scores" mean

USPS Rule 526.31 is specifically concerned with the rules around mailing day-old poultry.

Damn, you guys were all right about Sinners

What's up,

Man you're such a

50-year-old gym bros topic of the day: how much iran strangling the Stait of Hormuz is going to affect oil prices

Gonna teach a home ec class and the first class is just gonna be "you can run the dishwasher before it's full"

Seeing lots of people expressing concern over the second-degree murder charge in Minnesota. This is the highest available charge- the Minnesota statute is unusual and there is nothing odd at play here.

Walked head on into Harrison Ford while waiting for a 5K to start. Said "Oh, sorry" and stepped around him.

I can hear protests happening from by backyard (in a very residential neighborhood)

Excited to explore exactly how much chocolate is TOO MUCH.

Leveled up at shopping (POS machine crashed due to an unchecked throwable)

Adding these to my "best bollards" list

I had forgotten about it until this very moment but I absolutely had a lunchbox with that transformers picture in like third grade. What a memory to drag up!

She dreams in color, she dreams in red Can't find a

DUTCH. BABY.

OM NOM NOM

Really appreciating this product description for a new trailer safety hook I'm considering: "You can share the clevis slip hook with your friends, colleagues, classmates, relatives, neighbors and family members, making their daily lives more convenient and enhancing your relationship."

Extremely sexy Radiohead voice

Just put on my left shoe first and it felt so wrong

HAPPY FUCKING EASTER

YT Music has decided to bless our family with 8 different multilingual versions of "Heigh Ho" in a row

Final_Version_of_Tarrifs_actualFINALcopy_version7_USETHISONE.docx

Really good new word puzzle game: www.theatlantic.com/games/bracke...

Your scientists were so preoccupied, etc. etc.

Happy maple tree infanticide season to all who celebrate