wrote a song

My son came across *coughs* this @hensbens.bsky.social sticker at Ourika Valley in Morocco #WorldsStrongestBand

HENS BENS T-SHIRT COMPANY EMPLOYEE BAND RELEASES ALBUM: open.spotify.com/album/0738hx... hensbens.bandcamp.com

NEW T-SHIRTS! LIMITED TIME ONLY! We didn't know which new colours to add, so for the MONTH OF APRIL ONLY we're doing 10 different ones! Must end 30th April! hensbens.bandcamp.com/merch

SATURDAY! Tickets: hensbens.org

Last night’s Last Transmission from Phonic FM. Interview with Infected Senses & #newmusic from @benefitstheband.bsky.social @hensbens.bsky.social @themoonlandingz.bsky.social @psbhq.bsky.social @snappedankles.bsky.social @blondshell.bsky.social @pigsx7.bsky.social www.mixcloud.com/markmontague...

Don’t you hate when a band releases a single that sounds nothing like the rest of their album? YOUR FAVOURITE BAND IS ON THE DRUGS AGAIN (OH NO) is out now! open.spotify.com/track/0XmERH...

If you like bands that are a bit wild/mad then this is well worth a listen. There's a live album, too.......

Thank you to last week's sold-out WOBTEP test event participants: Marlon from Brazil, David who knows @marcrileydj.bsky.social, and Anna the Cheat. Please continue to enjoy HENS BENS' excellent album 'WORLD'S STRONGEST BAND' on your streaming service of choice.

Thank you to @gig-antics.bsky.social for saying nice things about last week’s album launch! www.gig-antics.live/post/hens-be...

We were too busy blowing up balloons to notice that last night SOLD OUT (!) but we're going to brag about it now because of course we are. Proper post about the gig later; I'm going back to bed now. My whole body hurts.

TONIGHT! Not many tickets left! hensbens.org

In March's gig guide, shows from... @snappedankles.bsky.social @hensbens.bsky.social @fomachete.bsky.social Sacred Paws, Cloth, Machine Orchid, The Dare, and *many* *mAnY* more... buff.ly/vXGqhkI by @tallahbrash.bsky.social

ANALOGUE MUSIC LOVERS: WE HEAR YOU. You’re excited about the HENS BENS gig tomorrow at Sneaky Pete’s and you can’t wait to buy an album. But you don’t want a CD. You want something ANALOGUE. Introducing the HENS BENS ALBUM BANANA: a download code attached to a banana. £10 at the merch stand.

TRADE WAR'S BACK ON Tickets: www.seetickets.com/event/hens-b...

HENS BENS are thrilled to announce WOBTEP, a technological innovation that will change the music industry forever. The first WOBTEP test will be held at the Sneaky Pete's on Thu 6 March, also featuring @michaelmisrubbish.bsky.social and @arrowsmeet.bsky.social. 🎟️ hensbens.org youtu.be/vrl2_bH9Uhs

We thought he was going to do his usual top-notch Oasis covers so this is very surprising.

HENS BENS are thrilled to announce WOBTEP, a technological innovation that will change the music industry forever. The first WOBTEP test will be held at the Sneaky Pete's on Thu 6 March, also featuring @michaelmisrubbish.bsky.social and @arrowsmeet.bsky.social. 🎟️ hensbens.org youtu.be/vrl2_bH9Uhs

“HENS BENS FUCKIN RULES”

BLOODY HENS BENS COMING OVER HERE PLAYING A SPECIAL ALBUM LAUNCH GIG ON THURSDAY 6th MARCH AT WOKE SNEAKY PETE’S WITH @michaelmisrubbish.bsky.social AND @arrowsmeet.bsky.social BLOODY WOKE NONSENSE TICKETS ON SALE NOW AT www.hensbens.org WHERE’S YOUR POPPY

Last ever run of pink HENS BENS t-shirts on sale NOW at HENS BENS PREMIUM RETAIL SOLUTIONS! hensbens.bandcamp.com/merch

Excellent reading here for fans of nice things being said about HENS BENS ⬇️

Excellent reading here for fans of nice things being said about HENS BENS ⬇️

The unnamed Scottish political figure I went to school with from the song ‘WANKER’ is in the news again. PLEASE SLOW DOWN, I HAVEN’T FINISHED THE EXTRA VERSE ABOUT THE LAST THING YOU DID YET. open.spotify.com/track/3ccjLQ...

Definitely haven’t forgotten to update the Bluesky for like a week. PLEASE BUY A TICKET FOR OUR SPECIAL ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY WITH MICHAEL M AND ARROWS MEET: www.seetickets.com/event/hens-b...

We love Tom Robinson. But Tom Robinson deserves more than our love. Tom Robinson deserves a huge cake, out of which we emerge singing "Happy Birthday Mister President", every day until it's actually his birthday.

The only fitting punishment for Peter Kay is making him play all his future gigs in front of Peter Kay fans.

can't believe they did this

Those still wondering about the identity of the wanker from ‘WANKER’ may want to read the news this morning… open.spotify.com/track/4bS5Kd...

The HENS BENS TRADE WAR has been suspended for 30 days because you all promised to buy a ticket. www.seetickets.com/event/hens-b...

IMPORTANT NEWS youtu.be/nUEacNC5wPg

These mavericks continue to risk their broadcasting careers by playing our sweary nonsense.

Spent tonight doing drums and piano for one of our Kickstarter cover version requests. It’s the most stupid fucking thing ever and I love it so much I want to put it on our next album.

HENS BENS are kings of the support slot, but after perfecting their live show opening for some of the world’s greatest bands, it’s time to see if anyone will actually pay to see them. 6th March! Sneaky Pete’s, Edinburgh! Also featuring @michaelmisrubbish.bsky.social and @arrowsmeet.bsky.social!

🎅

HENS BENS are kings of the support slot, but after perfecting their live show opening for some of the world’s greatest bands, it’s time to see if anyone will actually pay to see them. 6th March! Sneaky Pete’s, Edinburgh! Also featuring @michaelmisrubbish.bsky.social and @arrowsmeet.bsky.social!

Announcing an exciting thing tomorrow morning…

Thank you for including us in this week’s show @anyanyposi.bsky.social! First radio outing for track ten we think!

!!!!!!!

oh no

A fantastic album of twisted pop songs And all the songs are short which is great for those of us with short attention sp.... Oh, look- a squirrel 🐿️

Hey, look! WORLD'S STRONGEST BAND is out now! That's the HENS BENS album! open.spotify.com/album/0738hx...

A lovely ⭐⭐⭐⭐ review from Betty Mayonnaise at @isthismusic.bsky.social! www.isthismusic.com/hens-bens

TOMORROW! youtu.be/Glimt7weXg0?...

Hey look, it’s a full HENS BENS set recording! m.youtube.com/watch?v=X0fp... 2025 gig announcements coming soon!

congratulations to the boat from our new single which has just been on the news open.spotify.com/track/4bS5Kd...

NEW SINGLE! WANKER is out now! Album next week! open.spotify.com/album/2NlYu0...

ANNOUNCEMENT

SOON! www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glim...