“Come outside, I promise I won't swoop you”

I would like to honour Ace Frehley as I loved Kiss as a kid, but I don't want to rock ' n ' roll all night, let alone party every day.

I'm at an age where I mocked Mitre 10 for sending me a Sugar Soap Wipes Super Friday Deal! email, but then also thought "actually, I do need some".

If a book has pages and pages of quotes from other authors and reviewers praising it and the author up the front, its trying to hard to convince you it's good.

I curse @trashfuture.bsky.social for the fact that my reaction to this was “which Big John?”

Just saw Trump on TV and his makeup looks wack, even by his standards. It looks like he had a run-in with Goldfinger, who ordered Odd Job to paint him gold.

I know that this if for safety, but it does read like they just don't want children to find out about laundry capsules.

I mean, I went to the University of Western Sydney in the 1990s, I often skipped classes to go have lunch at Sizzler and still managed to get High Distinctions in a few classes. But sure, this is worth putting in the paper.

Part of me wishes I could get Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Minded but just the Fast & Furious movies so I could re-experience how delighted I was with those batshit movies at their peak.

My 14-year-old just shoved half a hot dog in his mouth and I said “what, are you Joey Chestnuts?” and he was like “who?”. So maybe I'm not a good parent?

I have a Canon WS-1200H calculator that I inherited at work 7 years ago, so god knows how old it actually is. It's solar, and I believe it's also battery-operated, but I've never had to change it this entire time. This is the platonic ideal of technology. Just does its job without any hassle.

It goes without saying that Mamdani’s policies are good ones, but as someone in PR I am impressed by what great communicators he and his team are. They artfully tie his messages back to a moment in history that underscores he is not proposing anything radical, but a continuation of NY’s story. 1/2

It simply should not be possible for the president to repeatedly claim that a major city is burning without a wall of live standups happening in that city clearly demonstrating that it is not

Rank that list in order of which of them will be proven to be lies the fastest

We seriously need to stop calling things Metro. I can literally catch the Metro from the Metro theatre to the Marrickville Metro, after buying snacks at a Woolworths Metro. Find a new word.

Every movie I’ve watched this weekend had Jason Robards in it. It’s Robardsnanza

I’ve never felt so seen in my life.

Did not consider that in ordering from a New York-style pizza place that the pizzas would also come in New York-style sizing and let’s just say that if you ask me what’s for dinner for the next year and a half the answer is pizza.

I haven’t seen Dirty Dancing OR Forrest Gump. I was a teenager who was too into the Golden Years of Hollywood to see modern movies. Unless it had Cary Grant you could GTFOH

Well I drank matcha every day for a week and what happened to my body was that at the end of the week it had consumed 7 matchas.

Glad this menu explains it. I’ve always wanted to try these things but wasn’t sure what they were.

Watching Logan’s Run. I will tell you one thing they apparently don’t have in the future: bras.

I am genuinely intrigued by Pepsi’s decision to try and own chicken. I mean it’s a good meat to try and own, but I wonder how they came to this conclusion.

My favorite part of Fleming’s Bond is that he’s an obnoxious, opinionated ass that would be insufferable to be around, with almost zero charm. He’s going to mansplain how to cook eggs or make a drink within 3 minutes of meeting anyone.

Things I enjoy in Fleming novels: the parts where Bond is in the office and it’s very pedestrian activity like paperwork and going to lunch, the descriptions of food and also, the bafflingly specific racism.

Took my Nespresso pods in for recycling when I went into the city on a few errands only to discover the store is closed because it’s being relocated, so now I’ve just taken my used pods on a lil day out.

Rewatching The Meg. I’d forgotten how Statham-y Statham is in this. I’m scoring it 9/10 Statham.

I went to pick up the salted pretzel chocolate off the shelf at Aldi but when I came home discovered I’d bought the similarly packaged marzipan blocks. I’m sure I’ve made worse mistakes in my life, but none spring to mind.

I was going to say that I look forward to seeing how Nicole Kidman tops the greatest divorce photo of all time, but apparently she denies that this is the context? www.news.com.au/entertainmen...

Is It Seasonal Allergies Or Am I Getting Sick: The Kerrie Murphy Story

Made this the other day and it's pretty good, but I've also realised that because of the ingredients, when it gets a bit wilted from the dressing, you can stir fry it for a couple of minutes and it's still delicious www.recipetineats.com/sweet-potato...

Australian politicians stop listening to American political podcasts challenge.

Reality show idea: Undercover Boomer. It’s like Undercover Boss but a “young people are lazy and entitled” Boomer has to spend a week living like Gen Z.

Yeah Leah! She’s the best

TIL that there was a series of telemovie sequels to Midnight Run in the 1990s in which Christopher McDonald takes on the de Niro role.

I’ve spent my whole life being intimidated by the idea of making rhubarb and then you do it and it’s super easy and delicious. That’s probably a metaphor.

Look he’s just working his way through the Es. I’m sure he’ll get there eventually.

Jimeon is playing the Riyadh Comedy Festival? That hurts.

Subtly downgrade a band Kilodeth Kid of God Half knot Nap Token Strongly worded email Against the Machine

Ruin a book with a car For Your Isuzu Only

The trouble with the people whining about "the male loneliness epidemic" is they reject every possible solution to it other than "submit to fascism"

Subtly downgrade a band Mission of Myanmar

Subtly Downgrade A Band: RoomTemperaturePause

Dude thinks he can do what Michael Jordan couldn't: reclaim the Hitler 'stache

Subtly downgrade a band Unsorted boxes of a Down

Please, Colin Firth's Ex-Wife is my mother's name. Call me Col

Bit rich coming from the dude who tried to get someone fired for calling him a bedbug

You think that 2009 was not that long ago and then you watch He’s Just Not That Into You with your 18yo and you have to explain what a slip is because ScarJo is wearing one.

Disney cancelled Jimmy Kimmel because it considered that was best for its bottom line, and it reinstated Jimmy Kimmel because it considered that was best for its bottom line. Neither decision engaged any legal, moral or ethical principle - just the principle of profit.

Every example of AI-generated podcasting I’ve heard is so tedious that it makes me want to walk into the ocean. Just 30 seconds of information in a 6-minute bag.