Joy! The Agent and I are going to hunt for wild boar in the woods behind my house, and have a Christmas barbeque. Or maybe we'll do the Chinese restaurant thing as usual, she's not Jewish, but she gets it.

Bragged about: walking into dressing rooms at teen beauty contests, avoiding VD as his personal Viet Nam, grabbing women's genitals, friendship with Epstein. Add judgement in E. Jean Carroll suit and 25+ women accusing him. All circumstantial things, could happen to anybody. Witch hunt!

I do have one authoring trick. Do not write too much or for too long. Set a modest time or page limit, and do not go beyond it. Do not become tired. Take breaks. Talk with friends on the phone. Take naps. Have snacks. Oh wait, that's not my approach to doing writing--that's about any sort of work.

Interview questions asked of writers are always about process. I have been interviewed myself, and they always want to know how it is done. What is the recipe? Personally, I have no idea, and I suspect neither do many other interviewees, so we make stuff up, and possibly come to believe it.

Hooray! The novel is started! Between times, when I am writing nothing, it seems I have no idea how it is done. Then, something happens, I don't know what, and it seems all simple and obvious. (Those were my nicknames in college.)

All of the times I’ve wondered what Putin had on Trump, and now we find out Jeffrey Epstein was talking to Putin’s ambassador about Trump.

Want to know how I came to appreciate myself? An Arab maiden who has the mind of a child, when she's not being a high-level scientist, (also claims to love me, fiercely, Arabs, oy vey), patiently explained to me what I have been doing since 1967. Who am I to argue with an IQ like that?

In the audience of he first Neanderthaler to tell a story was another cave-type who thought, "I want to do that," and did, with variations. Another hominid got inspired, and the third work of fiction happened. Until today, it's unbroken and continuous. And we all think ours is original and special.

I can't wait to see it. (I had no idea so many members of the Screen Actors' Guild were lizards.)

fu na tsarya?

Let's see. Been accused of rape, sexual assault, and sexual harassment, by at least 25 women since the 1970s. Found liable of sexual misconduct in a NY court. Judge said wasn't called rape on a technicality. Best friends with a known mega-creep sexual abuser. Nah, has to be a hoax and a witch hunt.

Speaking of lizards -- www.npr.org/2006/11/29/6...

Well, well, well...

Why does everyone keep calling it “The Epstein Ballroom?” Please stop repeating “The Epstein Ballroom” because it is not called “The Epstein Ballroom!” Don’t tell the news that it’s called “The Epstein Ballroom” and please don’t repost this!!!!!

I'll tell you how I knew. The last time an obviously middle-eastern type said to me, "Guess what country I'm from," I said Egypt, because his stance was like Boris Karloff in The Mummy, who had obviously prepared by looking at how Egyptians stand, so when this guy said guess, I guessed like before.

So the tech support guy was finishing up and I said, "alhamdulillah!" so he said, "You know Arabic!" and I said, "I know an Arab," and he said, "Guess what country I'm in," and I said, "Egypt," and he said, "How did you know that?" and I said, "I know things." How _did_ I know that?

Imagine the sadism necessary to be an armed federal agent, under no threat whatsoever, willing to shoot a priest in the head. ICE is “a portrait of an authoritarian secret police that seems set to model itself on history’s worst fascist enforcers.” www.doomsdayscenario.co/p/welcome-to...

I was back at 26 Federal Plaza today, where an ICE agent violently threw this bereft woman to the ground in front of her kids. She had not touched him. She did not pose any threat. She had to be taken to the hospital. (🎥: Elias Eliahu)

Whenever you call a Nazi a Nazi.

I'm saying nothing pro or con, but some people have positive notions about my work, and even me. These people will do well to get a look at books by Jill Pinkwater. This is the actual stuff. People being what they are, (pathetic), I got most of the attention. Jill couldn't have cared less.

Of course I'm happy about it. Talented and enthusiastic people are going to make a movie prompted, inspired, in some way related to, my book. They are not about to slavishly try to translate it literally to cinema, which would be awful. Maybe some part of the spirit of the book will be in the movie.

If I'd known he was going to go on a diet, I might not have sold them an option.

I was told by a Hollywood guy the filmmaker never has the least contact with the book writer, for obvious reasons. With Benny it's ok. We're friends. He knows I think he should smack the book to little pieces with a hammer and then glue the pieces together to make a brand new mosaic.

Did I tell about the Irish production of Ulysses by James Joyce? Joyce is right after Jesus in Ireland. This film was so respectful of the book that the actors on the screen were yawning. Only time I ever fell deeply asleep in a movie house.

She said, "No, your illustrations aren't lousy. It's just my colleague busting my chops. She hates me. But you have to do them over."

She said, "Every other picture book I buy I write myself under a pseudonym. Nobody cares."

He said, "This is too long, has to be cut by half." She said, "You haven't read a word of it!"

He said, "I always delete the first three chapters. It's a rule of mine."

Happy Cherry Popsicle Day from Affirmation Coyote!

No, I said, "Gosh, sir, that would be swell." Swell. I barely made it to the elevator.

She said, "You have to change the drawing that shows a mother lion licking her cub. It is disgusting."

She said,, "It is against the law for you to write a character, [a talking animal], saying he was known by the name Harry S. Truman, and was President of the United States. We could all go to jail."

She said, "Why do I bother retyping page after page of your manuscript, [same typeface, same ribbon, same margins], if you're going to just correct everything back to the way you originally wrote it?"

She said, "My carfare from the suburbs is greater than my salary. This is the first job I've had in my life." (Publicist for the children's books department of a major publisher.) She was 45.

He said, "I'm like the father of a family. The women, God bless them, we can't live with them and we can't live without them. In future, when you come to see your publisher, how would you like to go past the girls' offices and come here to the big office?" "Gosh, sir," I said, "that would be great."

She said, "You are an author. I am an editor. I outrank you."

"Good books make bad movies, bad books make good ones." I always urge people not to respect my book too much. This way if the movie is good I can claim it was because they followed my advice, and if it's bad it's because good books make bad movies. Just they should make it and send me my check.

AMEN

I looked it up. Those things are called "bread clips," not something from Latin, or made up by the genius inventor, or based on their resemblance to some Amazonian wild thing. Bread Clips. It is to weep. The things at the end of shoelaces are called aglets for mercy's sake! Culture is dead.

www.instagram.com/p/DKM7mrptw3... If you sound and act like a Nazi you're a Nazi, end of discussion!

Well obviously I wouldn't do it if it weren't fun, and since I am ridiculously rich, it wouldn't matter to me if it wasn't commercially successful, but I wouldn't want to involve another artist unless I knew there was interest.

Back to the ridiculous and unimportant where I live: Tom Angleberger and I are discussing a collaboration. Anyone who'd like to comment or express an opinion is welcome to, um, comment or express an opinion. Think it might be a good idea?

If you are a National Guard or Active Duty military and you are being ordered to violate the Constitutional rights of US citizens then this is the number to the GI Rights Hotline. There is support, you don’t have to go through with it. 877-447-4487 Know. Your. Rights.

The people at @smartelections.bsky.social are moving forward with a major lawsuit in NY over this obvious instance of fraud that took place in the 2024 Election... [ Reposted from @realdlhughley.bsky.social on Instagram ]

This is the way to stand up to these bullies! Respect ✊

June 1