I love hobbits I like Mary and Pimpin!

PirateShip dot com rules because their customer service reps really stick to the pirate schtick in both emails and phone calls

I thought this was Conner O’Malley for a second

Cream Abdul Jafar

El Alien con Adidas no existe, solo está en tu imaginación. El Alien con Adidas:

Son has a little play food set that came with a small fake bottle of apple cider vinegar. We’re having to just call it apple cider right now because he has a hard time saying the vi part of vinegar, so it sounds like something else

In high school we had a German exchange student play kicker for us. Could probably line drive a football 100 yards, and would frequently knock lineman on their bellies after hitting them in the ass with the ball.

JOI Aguilar

Yard sale in shambles. Only $172 on the day

So I’ll tell you all the story About the Joker and the Queef In the NIGHT

Syracuse is a good ball club IMO

Big third down here

Yard sale today, yall stop by

She pee on my wee till I’m her man

They call it the “weekend” because it is “week’s end”

It’s this one with the big poontange it self licks to squirt

Jeff foxworthy without a mustache isn’t real he can’t hurt you

Come and take it

Jim Thee Kimmel

“Puds” - Pantera (1996)

Was driving with 2 year old son a while back and we saw a septic tank pump truck. He exclaimed “ooh truck!” And I says to him “yeah that’s a poop truck” so now every truck he sees it’s “hey daddy, poop truck!”

Want to feel old? Haley Joel Osment is now as old as Christopher Lee was when he died

Barlow One Stop (gas station) Pawpaw’s BBQ (old man in a camper trailer)

they told me i have to arrest people for not mourning hard enough

Brian Cock’s

I thought they said this was Max Gilbert’s dad but guess it was just some guy

The Buttfucker Proxy

The Buttfucker Proxy

The Buttfucker Proxy

Make a movie mildly inappropriate: The Buttfucker Proxy

Make a movie worse with a word that rhymes. The Buttfucker Proxy

The Buttfucker Proxy

Telling our IT person from the northeast “you got it, hoss” after he asks me to do something

I wish I loved anything as much as Bolsonaro loves going to the hospital

RIP in peace Robert Redford someone threw some Buffalo Wild Wings into his enclosure and he got parvo

Currently reading Frankenstein. Someone should’ve told ol Mary Shelley to stfu and get to the point

The Phantom of the Okra

Wolverine has a 7th claw that comes out his pee hole when he’s horny

I cannot even begin to tell you how unlikely I am to recommend EZOfficeInventory to my friends and family

My family gets most of their thanksgiving dinner from a local gas station back home

Could god make a poon so tangy even he couldn’t sassify it?

Poon man Cum together with your hands Shave me

was the glorch there

Heard this this morning and it still holds true

Minne

More like Amy Adams-STUNK amirite titans fans

Opie Juan Kenobi