Finally watching Heated Rivalry and my husband is taking issue with the lack of face masks on junior players

I think the next Democratic nominee should be able to name all the former presidents* in order faster than me. I am fast. *I stop at Obama, who I assume History will also list as the Last Canonical President

I hate most of what is happening, thanks!

Just abandoning my beliefs, trying to design hostile architecture, but only for my front path solar lights I keep having to replace

My dog's snores are the sound of heaven.

Went to the Capitol today.

Isaac: comes up with a couple great sign slogans for the No Kings protest tomorrow Me: assigns myself kinda intense art homework

Observe the Great White Man Shark: He has multiple rows of enslaved people's teeth!

New title for my business card: Inveterate Scab-Picker

Just picked up refills of all my mental health meds: Zoloft, vodka, and energy drinks

Who knew that mid-societal collapse we could still buy booze but still have to pay bills while also consuming constant updates about The Horrors?

My dad is taking music producing classes in his retirement where he is learning a lot and having fun. Still glad he gave up music as a career to be an electrical engineer so he could have a bunch of kids and buy us a trampoline from Costco one day.

Love too never be able to get a new job that pays better because I have chronic debilitating sinusitis and a bitchy chihuahua daughter, both of which require me working from home with maximum flexibility.

It's funny, cuz like, how do we even still exist when it's all so fucked?!?! Lol

Welp, there was a murder on my block today. Didn't even realize anything was going on until Franny kept barking and I looked out to see ambulances and police cars.

Love too have the Threads app installed on my phone so I can tap through to see the world's most milquetoast takes on celebrities and/or an AITA post that fizzles out before anything interesting happens.

Currently mad about having to go to the doctor early on a Monday morning after a blizzard. Virtual appointments were even further out, though, so I will show up to lie about my alcohol consumption and get a rubber stamp for the antidepressants I have been on for 9000 years.

Trump (and Melania) jumpscare in the beginning of Zoolander! Somehow never registered it before now, despite it being a top-10 favorite movie of mine.

Never not glad I live in the "lesser" of the Twin Cities. St. Paul is smaller, cheaper, has more street parking, our mayor isn't a Poor Man's Gavin Newsome, etc.

"Call Tyrone" but Erykah Badu has lost her cell and keeps asking people to "Call My Phone"

Go to bed, you silly goose! Slow-motion societal collapse will still be happening in the morning.

Just to be clear, I am and have always been and will always be Against It.

For ease, I would like to be cremated when I die. However, all I do is read and consume media about skeletons (murder, archaeology, medical history, etc.), so maybe I should have myself entombed somewhere cool. Or donate this meat pile to science.

In THIS HOUSE we BELIEVE

Everything is a nightmare, I am not doing enough, but I did remember I support my local PBS station and can watch as many episodes of "Secrets of the Dead" as I want in the app.

I'm an 8 mixed with 10

I became a cheerleader in 8th grade and was voted captain.

Watching another commercial for some completely pointless AI add-on: "Why do you want a robot to lie to you?!"

When you leave (drunk) voicemails for your senators, it's important to emphasize, "It's a NIGHTMARE. We're living in a NIGHTMARE."

I slept double digit hours and it's sunny and I am singing in my house and yet, I still hate it Here. I contain multitudes.

"American innovation" now refers to making a kind of atrocity cronut by combining insider trading with war crimes.

Blowing things up, kidnapping and killing foreign leaders, is good because it's Doing. Considering the consequences of Doing would be Thinking, which is weak and woke

If the right has SUCH an issue with gender markers on IDs, they should take them off of IDs and passports entirely. Why do we even need them? Their obsession with terrorizing trans people is so absolutely insane.

Carb slab Melty cheese Carb slab ^my deity

you got AI in there?

Minneapolis isn't an especially sweary place but there are so many houses that have homemade "FUCK ICE" signs and I've had multiple conversations with parents about how we're okay with our kids using that word in this context because sometimes it IS okay to swear and this is one of those times.

My kingdom for

is life just a series of days where you're tired in the afternoon and wide awake at night, running behind on weekly deadlines, and seeing pants get slim and big and then slim again over the years until you die?

So far, we've raised $21,940 through the Lights On, Homes Warm fund - enough to provide support to over 40 Minnesota households. 🤝 Help us continue this important work by donating to the fund today: bit.ly/UtilityBillFundMN

Not sure if it's an insult or a testament to the Mormon gardening/ food preservation/ disaster preparedness world I grew up in, but I don't like fresh green beans, only canned.

It's not just rent that's due for people who can't work right now! Please consider donating to energy bill coverage. Utility companies can't legally *turn things off* during cold weather in Minnesota, but unpaid bills pile up and our neighbors need our help in every way.

It me: weeknight drunk, posting mutual aid links on social media between glancing up to read subtitles on a hardcore escapist Kdrama.

Sexy Gay Jesus's blessings upon whoever manufactures all the sparkly black performance material tops for pairs skating boys.

Love too get an inflated sense of expertise about curling once every four years. I literally have to relearn the rules every time, but one week into the Olympics I'm like, "If they're not going to do a proper freeze, then they deserve to lose the hammer."

I made fudge and forced myself to knock on my neighbors' doors and give it to them and talk to them. I met people at 3 houses (2 others weren't home) and I was nervous to do it but people like sweet treats and talking to people who live on your block is normal, actually.

Snowboard cross is real-life Mario Kart, thanks for asking

No, YOU burned your palm pretty badly on pizza

Oops felt the warm sun on my uncovered head while listening to a Kelly Clarkson song and experienced hope for a minute

“my ‘we’re not out scouring the streets to disappear people or deny people their civil rights or due process’ shirt is raising a lot of questions that are answered by the shirt”