Guess what dickhead forgot to charge his car last night and had to turn back on his route to work this morning to go charge it for fear of not making it back home and being stuck in traffic. ME! Someone pass me a gun.

On it 🫡

About a year ago.

If it’s 9% Alcohol volume, does that mean there’s a 9% chance I will regret it in the morning? 🤔

satanist boy autumn x

Sunday horn got me like…

One whole year. Can’t celebrate without some Cake. Interacted with so many lovely people and long may it continue. 🥳

Night yall.

#humpday shenanigans x

ZERO fuckin sleep. 😭 I might not make it through today.

Got a hair cut Many Thanks x

Baked some Butterfly bun’s. Might open a cake shop.

Someone needs to invent a machine or something that lets you go back to your previous dream because I just woke from the horniest one and I would like to finish it.

Morning all. Thank FUCK it’s Friday. X

Mentally this past week has been a real struggle. To the point where I haven’t had motivation to do things I like. I know the cause and i could be overthinking it but idk. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Wonderful day with the fam, followed by a lovely meal. But now its Mojito’clock.

Will suck you off for a Dratini. Or a shiny Eevee. SW-5567-4011-4623

Don’t forget to do your pushups. 💪🏻

Morning, happy Pokemon day. Still think it’s a crime Cyndaquil isn’t a starter.

Same Willow. Same.

Wearing briefs is like getting a haircut. In the sense that either of them makes me feel rather sexy.

Dressed ready for my date… with my PlayStation. 🍁

Going as myself for Halloween, my life is scary enough.

Anyone else eat with the fork in the right hand and knife in the left? Just me?

Kelis Is still bringing boys to the yard 20 years later.

Not to brag but it’s my last work day before I have a full week off. I have zero plans.

Good morning. I’ve had 3 hours sleep. I’m horny. I’m cranky. Also I’m horny, did I mention that already?

cosy x

Got a stomach bug, and this is my nurse.

Morning people in my phone. 🍂🍁

I don’t understand how you can buy the new iPhone every year. The tech ain’t improved that much. 🤷🏻‍♂️

That camera gonna be scratched to fuck. Who signed off on this design?

One day hopefully I can go to the barbers without being asked if I have a girlfriend. Next time I’ll walk in with nothing but a jockstrap on and maybe they’ll get the hint. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Mondays… 🥲

Attempting to beat the allegations.

Kinda horny this morning. Bricked and thinking about sitting on oomfs face.

Give me some songs to listen to. I generally like all kinds of music so I won’t judge.

Proving it’s an Otter bum. NOT a twink bum.

He’s not a fan of warm weather. 🥰

I think it would be really neat to kiss a boy right now 👉🏻👈🏻

Channeling my inner masc straight lad today. Football season is back.

Regina Hall and Anna Faris are officially returning for ‘Scary Movie 6’ in theaters next summer.

Think about oomf at least once a day. 😌

Woke up horny. Usually this app helps with that. But all I see is Taylor Swift mentions.

Finished I think ?

Happy Sungay. Clean your mirror’s.

saw a dog today - 10/10 would recommend x

massive tee/short shorts all day x

meet me in the woods? x