Happy birthday Satan.

Quote-skeet with your favourite reaction GIF of all time

Shout out to E.T. for taping a few everyday devices together and using that shit to call a Space Uber and get his ass back home and whatnot.

Fmd Footscray (pictured in vibrant colour) is having a few feelings this morning. Sitting in Barkley St watching the hood’s biggest menaces screwing with traffic. Also- French Baguette (not pictured) has had a facelift.

Ch7 interviewed my kid and his chums for vce related content. If you see an adorable Footscray kid talking about exams, that’s my lovely boy. Note- Although I can’t give you permission to shower me with parenting praise, because I’m just too humble, I will accept cash.

Singing Kumbayas for all the Victorian kids doing their English exam this morning. Good luck ya clever little people. xo

17 heading off for his yr12 formal. Parties afterwards. He’s wearing a handsome suit. No, YOU’RE crying, sook! Grow up!

Share someone who looks stylish wearing the colour brown 🤎

It’s bin night

One of their most beautiful but underrated songs. Clever, mournful lyrics. Tim never sounded so pretty. Poor Boy- 10/10

It’s my considered opinion that anyone running social media on behalf of their pets in 2025 should be on a terrorist watch list.

CRISIS ALERT!!! My neighbour has swapped his BMW for a Tesla. Ffs!

Remember self-care. Sprinkle some joy in with the doom scrollin' and whatnot. I love you and there's absolutely nothin' you can do about it.

AI at its peak

I miss REAL Journalists

happy dogs! #AFLW

When I get Wordle on the fourth go I read the little congratulations message in this voice

I’m not usually a superheroes kid but Peacemaker is 10/10. Would recommend to a “that was surprising and funny” loving friend.

New shoes.. who dis? #charliesutton #fancy

The brains trust at r/ afl arguing over trades. Has devolved into a battle to the death over which player is hotter, Dunkley or Lipinski.

Taking 17 to buy a suit for graduation. The air tingles with a looming sense of dread.

Go Brisbane!

my daughter really captured my essence in this portrait of me “at work”

Ya could say he was FREE FROM DESIRE FREE FROM DESIRE NANA NANA NANA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

All rise for the national anthem

Comfort food with extra cheese and garlic bread. No, YOURE a guts.

I wrote a song this morning. Enjoy.

Ed Richards is a winner in my book… the big, beautiful dummy. #brownlow

4:45am and the little wattlebird who honks his awful song from our yard every morning is silent. No! There he goes. OH Wicka HONK wicka HONK wickoo wickoo wickoo Ah wicka honk!

Confident my club won’t delist players until next week because they’re playing a vfl grandfinal this weekend. Next week Ill be crying over fringe players you’ve never heard of. Prepare yourselves.

Heya @dodgykneesb.bsky.social Sorry for paying out on your club so hard. I know you’re a righteous dude so I hope you’re not too sad about the loss. Hugs to you and your Crow kin.

Just muted the name of that awful dude who reaped what he sowed. 10/10 Would recommend muting his name to a friend.

Im not keen on the Hawks winning but I DO appreciate Crows losing. Let’s hope they humiliate Geelong next week. Smug gits!

This one loaded and ready for the Collingwood game.

No… YOU had a dream that Kyle Minogue was an aggressive tram conductor…. Ya freak!

Look after each other.

Look, I'm not saying this book is my magnus opium, or even my magnum opus, but it might be of interests to lovers of footy, Footscray and history. 'Bulldogs Through and Through' is nearly sold out at the club, and numbers are being crunched to see if there'll be a reprint. GET IT WHILE YOU CAN!

Yessssssssssss

post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Pearl Jam Soundgarden, or Alice In Chains

“Of course you’ll have the good taste not to mention I spoke to you?” Brutally funny line. #TCMParty #BlazingSaddles

Come on, Goldies!!!

Fingers crossed Toby and Sicily choke each other

Quote post with an album you'd rate a perfect 10 out of 10.

Carlton rolling in its grave

Omg. You guys. Somebody Somewhere. Absolutely loved it. Beautiful stories, characters and scenes. 10/10 Would recommend to a friend.

Forgotten about this thing I did a while back of Ed Richards and Aaron Naughton. In my defence I am quite demented.

W Dogs won. Yay!! Now for the most ridiculously stressful, high stakes game since last last season. Please win, Dogs! #AFLW #AFLM #AFLWTigersDogs #AFLDogsDockers