I'd imagine ANDREW HASTIE will probably now just bide his time before challenging Ley for the leadership. After all, he's an anagram of AWAITS HER END. #AusPol

If Melbourne also traded out their women's #5 and it proved to be successful for them, they'd likely end up giving thanks for giving T.Hanks away. #AFLWDeesDons

At the MCG.

Incidentally, the headline "MELBOURNE DEMONS' CHRISTIAN PETRACCA GOES" is an anagram of MR EMANCIPATION: "GOLD COAST SUN! BEER! CHEERS!" #AFL #AFLTrade #AFLTrades

If Laura Pugh's nickname isn't 'Church Bench' then what are we even doing? #AFLWHawksFreo

I heard 'Sweet Caroline' being played at the final change of ends in the #AFLWHawksFreo game. This is the only acceptable time to ever play this song but, for full acceptability, the lyrics 'Sweet Caroline' must be replaced by 'three-quarter time'.

When they showed the film, 'I,Robot' at all 16 theatres of the same cinema complex, they renamed the establishment... 'I, MEGAPLEX'.

In extremely windy conditions down at Frankston, Mim Strom has probably adapted better than Indi Strom to the maelstrom. #AFLWHawksFreo

Never change, Libba. #CharlesSuttonMedal

The Battle of Fuse took place in 1553. Coincidentally, today it took me 15:53 to win LR's Battle of Clues.

And a reminder that today is the FIRST day of the SECOND month of the THIRD full season of the year.

Another one for you, @actualnames.bsky.social.

It’s believed the defining moment in the consultation came when a veteran field umpire exclaimed, “Centre bounces make me want to throw up!” #AFL

Popular with Hawthorn fans?

Was looking up playwrights and came across this guy, @actualnames.bsky.social:

I’m sure to attract women now that I’m an alfalfa male.

At the café I'm at there's a song playing in the background that features some very passionate-sounding female moaning. Very tempted to call someone over and say, "I'll have what she's having."

I might have found my soulmate.

The folks at the Healesville Guardian did their best to make Queen Elizabeth's 1954 visit to Warburton about them with this headline.

St Kilda trailing 2.3-4.3 at half time of #AFLWSaintsPower. All six goals so far have been scored at the same end of the ground, which suggests to me it might be a bit...

Would it not be more fitting for the #AFL to highlight the premiership WINNERS on its own website's home page after the Grand Final – for a day or two at least? #AFLGF #AFLCatsLions

At quarter time the Lions are trailing 1.6-2.3 and struggling not unlike the Portuguese did against the forces from the Kingdom of Kongo in the Battle of Mbanda Kasi. Incidentally, the Battle of Mbanda Kasi was in 1623. #AFLGF #AFLCatsLions

PROJECTED FINAL SCORE: Geelong 0.8.8 v Brisbane 0.24.24 #AFLGF #AFLCatsLions

Most common #AFLGF margins: FIVE TIMES 4 points (1900, 1921, 1964, 2005, 2023) 5 points (1907, 1918, 1943, 1979, 2018) FOUR TIMES 1 point, 9 points, 15 points, 33 points, 35 points Grand Final margins under 40 points not yet recorded: 8, 16, 19, 21, 23, 34 and 36 #AFLCatsLions

FITZ/BRIS/GEEL GRAND FINALS PLAYED ON 27 SEPTEMBER: 1913: Fitz 7.14.56 d StK 5.13.43 1952: Geel 13.8.86 d Coll 5.10.40 2003: Bris 20.14.124 d Coll 12.12.84 2008 Haw 18.7.115 d Geel 11.23.89 #AFLGF #AFLCatsLions

A big thanks to @dontattempt.bsky.social for giving me a shout-out and highlighting my observations about the Age and SMH 'Target' word puzzles. If you enjoy words, puzzles and banter, I highly recommend signing up for his wonderful weekly word newsletter: login.myfairfax.com.au/signup_newsl...

Incidentally, SNOOP DOGG’S AT THE FOOTBALL is an anagram of POT LAD: HE’S GOT A LOT OF BONGS. #AFLGF #AFLCatsLions

I’m on a Mission from Dog. #AFLWDogsPies

And the Footy Trivia answers are... 1. Mark Ricciuto (Adel) 2. Lenny Hayes (StK), Scott Pendlebury (Coll) 3. 6 – Jarrod, Jarrad, Jared Jarryd, Jarred, Jaryd 4. Collective Mind 5. Carlton, Gold Coast, North Melbourne

At half time the Hawks are trailing 16-26 and looking about as discombobulated as King Christian IV of Denmark's army did against the Count of Tilly's forces in the Battle of Lutter. Incidentally, the Battle of Lutter was in 1626. #AFLWCatsHawks

Had a (foot)ball co-hosting Footy Trivia at the Commercial Club Hotel with Paul Daffey last night. By request, here's a sample of some of the questions posed: 1. Before Matt Rowell, who was the first Brownlow winner with initials of MR? 2. Name the TWO 2010 Norm Smith medallists.

For those playing along: 1. Dayne Zorko 2. Noah Anderson 3. Tom Liberatore 4. Nick Daicos 5. Jordan Dawson 6. Ed Richards 7. Matt Rowell 8. Bailey Smith 9. Andrew Brayshaw 10. Zach Merrett #BrownlowMedal #Brownlow

And the winner is... WET TRAM. LOL. #BrownlowMedal #Brownlow

Seeing MKR ads during the #BrownlowMedal count has prompted me to send out my annual reminder: MY KITCHEN RULES is an anagram of HERE – LICK MY NUTS. #MKR #Brownlow

Can you unscramble these potential Brownlow Medalists? 1. A DORKY ZONE 2. HARD ONE SON? NA. 3. A LIMO, OR BETTER 4. iNDIA'S COCK 5. JAN WAR? ODDS ON!  6. REDDISH CAR 7. WET TRAM. LOL. 8. SHIT, BY A MILE 9. WE WASH BARNYARD 10. MET HERTZ CAR #BrownlowMedal #Brownlow

They say it's a cardinal sin to fail to bat out your 50 overs in ODIs, but does it remain so if you're all out for 412? #INDvAUS

GEELONG v FITZROY/BRISBANE in FINALS: 1903 SF FITZ 11.15 Geel 4.5 MCG 1923 SF FITZ 14.13 Geel 8.14 MCG 2004 PF BRIS 12.12 Geel 10.15 MCG 2020 PF GEEL 11.16 Bris 6.6 Gab 2022 PF GEEL 18.12 Bris 7.7 MCG 2024 PF BRIS 14.11 Geel 12.13 MCG 2025 QF GEEL 16.16 Bri 11.8 MCG #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals #AFLGF

Déjà vu for Collingwood and Fitzroy fans as the Pies go down to the Lions 71 vs 100, just as they did in 1968. #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals

FUN FOOTY FACT: Since 2012, 58 has been a three-quarter time score four times in finals. In all cases, the team with that score has been Collingwood. 2012 1SF Col 8.10.58 v WCo 2020 1EF Col 9.4.58 v WCo 2023 1QF Col 9.4.58 v Mel 2025 1PF Col 9.4.58 v Bri #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals

Brisbane trailing 4.6-7.1 at half time and if they don't turn things around in a hurry, for the Lions it could be... #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals

The sub's been made and the Sandwich Maker* is on. #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals *BReville

Pies trailing 1.1-4.3 at quarter time and looking as unsteady as the English forces of King Stephen against Earl Robert of Gloucester in the Battle of Wilton. Incidentally, the Battle of Wilton was in 1143. #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals

If Roan Steele ever has kids I hope his first-born is named 'Sidebottom'. #AFLPiesLions #AFLFinals

FUN FOOTY FACT/OMEN WATCH: Today's #AFLPiesLions game will mark just the second time Collingwood has played Fitzroy/Brisbane on September 20. The first was in the 1952 Preliminary Final. The Pies won, advancing to a Grand Final against... Geelong. #AFLFinals

"They blew you out of the blocks." — Cam Mooney, Fox Footy #AFLFinals #AFLCatsHawks

Cats trailing 1.3-3.4 at quarter time and looking as ramshackle as the Turkish did against the Christian league in the Battle of Adramyttion. Incidentally, the Battle of Adramyttion was in 1334. #AFLCatsHawks #AFLFinals

Sometimes I forget I’m old. Like today when I was driving and bopping along to The Cure’s ‘Friday I’m in Love’. Then I’ll get a sudden harsh reminder that I am in fact old. Like today when I was driving along listening to The Cure and realised the radio was tuned to Magic 1278.

I was late to this album because I doubted Dave could ever top 'I'm Gonna Release Your Soul'. But it's brilliant. So smooth and sophisticated I feel guilty listening to it if I'm not wearing a tux and holding a martini. (Having said that, 'Apollo 69' is a great song to do housework to.)

For Australian voters, the choice is minor parties or miner parties.

Planning afternoon tea today? Don't forget the Phoenix Cheddarettes.