holy chart crime, batman

didn't think i'd arrive here, but... well done, hakeem

make america russia again

bans on gerrymandering are a good fix, but state lines are the real thing that need to be fixed. MCSGA* make city states great again

Implementation: the bringing of a plan, process, or idea into effect Impelmentation: absolutely crushing a huge bowl of pelmeni

if at first you don't secede

Democrats need to be landing more verbal body shots on people like Kavanaugh. Say his name every time you tell a story like this.

good news from the nation of philadelphia

Whistleblower drops 'largest ever' ICE leak to unmask agents: 'The last straw' www.rawstory.com/ice-agents-d...

hey @schumer.senate.gov, i believe the term you want is "corrupt tyrant"

has no morality and his mind is failing. fantastic!

time for a march on their local office. mayor frey and tim walz should be at the front of it.

the thing about state organizations with impunity is that even if that impunity if meant for "bad guys," it tends to get used against everybody, ultimately

a coup d'not

some people love quoting "the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must." That was Athens saying that at the height of its empire. Few of those people seem to remember what happened to Athens the very next year.

hey #philly, we're doing something beneficial for society for a change! JOKES for JUSTICE is a standup comedy benefit for local gender justice organizers. all proceeds go to an organization called Bread and Roses. let's make philly a kinder, more welcoming place! www.eventbrite.com/e/jokes-for-...

feliz новый год

cool to see those three, obviously distinctly pronounced words on a holiday card

we can tranche if we want to

why call it a brief thread on soviet fonts when we could call it the short shrift?

LLMs? no, it's los LM

Trump's secret police vandalize houses and cars, assault citizens, fire potential lethal weapons for the hell of it, and assault children, often as sexual predators... and claim impunity for all of this. CATO proposes the fix. In the meantime it's essential to document all these crimes rigorously.

A washed ashore whale caused frustracean In Nantucket folks were impacean' The gov. said 'can't move it, nor hardly improve it' This issue's above our cetacean

nickel for your thoughts

using stock as leverage = realizing gains of said stock

PROSECUTION'S CASE COULDN'T SURVIVE DEFENSE'S INCISIVE, COLD CUTS

(nobody has ever been able to produce something like this about 2020 in the US, for the record)

Will be offering punny commentary as the process unfolds. As a jury cannot reprise its roll, if there's a mistrial, a new one will have to be seeded.

you mean DELI-berate. it's right there!

In the criminal justice system, sandwich-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Washington DC, the dedicated detectives who investigate these delicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Sandwich Victims Unit. These are their stories. 🔔 DUN DUN 🔔

trump-era doomscrolling got you down? you can always go to the beach

i have no faith that republicans would actually support a national comprise that actually fixed malapportionment in the house

the difficulty with reforming anti-democratic institutions is that these institutions can sustain themselves without popular legitimacy.

An amazing story of this decade was the ADL turning all its fire on Israel critics while tech companies dismantled their censors and Hitler-lovers came roaring back.

the only animal that poops cubes, by the way

do we actually need to ask whether putin will bloviate about outlandish historical grievances?

i'm not here a ton, but if any of you are in #philly (or want to come down!) on 11/1, i host a pun off. friends have told me things like "we came to support you, but it was actually a fun event". ringing endorsements, people!

[forest] ME: omg there’s a wolf WIFE: where? ME: no the regular kind

we continue to hurtle towards disintegration. if you're a net donor to a union for which, in exchange, you have no protections and are systematically underrepresented, what's the point of staying in that union?

drives at one of my hobby horse items that state boundaries no longer reflect cultural/socioeconomic boundaries and are wildly out of date. this map correctly recognizes that as somebody in philadelphia, i have more in common with baltimore/south jersey than i do with central PA.

Roberts Raids

A whopping 38% of Russia’s refining capacity is now offline, according to The Economist. Gasoline output fell by 1 million tons in September which has created a 20% domestic shortfall. Repairs may take months because of sanctions limiting access to parts and tech.

Has been a minute, #philly, but we have something for ya... don't miss our spookiest pun-off yet. philadelphia.heliumcomedy.com/shows/314520 cc @farfarraway.bsky.social

HARDEST PHOTO OF 2025 JUST DROPPED

oh my god, it's political violins

hi, @hakeem-jeffries.bsky.social you need to be calling this administration "the most corrupt in US history" every time you appear in public, no matter the question/topic.

that's a long way to spell "venezuela"

this is straight out of monty python

won't be the last disintegrative thing to happen under this administration

sounds like there's труба in paradise