I’m all about quiet quitting, or, as we called it back at L'École Internationale de Théâtre Jacques Lecoq, quitting.

Please, it’s Michael Stipe’s monster; Michael Stipe was the scientist’s name

Putin said it was time to start giving out cement shoes which Trump misheard as Florsheim shoes, which is pretty funny unless you’re Marco Rubio

“No man knows the day nor the hour but you can probably reverse engineer it if you bomb the fuck out of the holy land. You guys are so smart” (Mark 13:32)

“Drafts” has never been more apropos, scrolling through like “which one of you am I sending out there to die”

Markwayne Mullin is an upgrade from Kristi Noem in that he only shoots puppies if he’s going to eat them

No no, the red SEND HELP notes are my reminders to watch the new Raimi, the *blood* red SEND HELP notes are my desperate pleas for assistance

America, 2027: A frog in every pot. Dog The Bounty Hunter restores sanity to the MAHA movement. Democrats are replaced by the Party For White South Africa, and no one bats an eye. Volunteers line 5th Ave in both directions as Donald Trump, negotiating a yearlong stroke, tries to load a handgun

Going for the WYDOT (fucking all three animaniacs)

Die already