moochin’ war widows!

Trump Phones are reportedly shipping.

In jail, and my cellmate says "what are you in for?" "Tomato Fraud."

👀 INBOX: Justice Department to Make Significant Announcement in Baltimore Regarding Investigation of Key Bridge Allision Incident

Ted Turner, CNN Founder and Media Titan, Dies at 87

Threads AI with either an error, or really burying the lede.

Farewell, Jeeves. We have nothing more to ask of you. www.ask.com

Federal Charges Filed Against White House Correspondents’ Dinner Gunman; Legal Filing Questions Who Shot Secret Service Officer

There’s a certain kind of investment blog that I always see in linked to in stock apps, that is the most unhelpful thing ever. Headline is usually like “Will AMZN reach $300/share after Q1 earnings tonight?” Then the “article” (if you can call it that) is basically “idk, maybe? Who knows?”

Justice Department Indicts Former FBI Director James Comey a Second Time for Threatening President Trump

This seems bad?

Evergreen, unfortunately

They want Ballroom for everybody.

Trump Claims Correspondents’ Dinner Shooting Reinforces Need To End Journalism https://theonion.com/trump-claims-correspondents-dinner-shooting-reinforces-need-to-end-journalism/

Trump Says Suspect Charged from 50 Yards, Armed with Multiple Weapons, Praises Secret Service Response

DOJ Reinstates Lethal Injection Protocol and Adds Firing Squad to Federal Death Penalty

Coalition of 23 Attorneys General Seeks Permanent Block of Trump’s Mail‑Voting Order

"The Justice Department unsealed an indictment charging 38‑year‑old Fort Bragg soldier Gannon Ken Van Dyke ... for using classified details of Operation Absolute Resolve to bet on Polymarket and win about $409,881"

How’s the @theonion.com transition going, @timheidecker.bsky.social ? Looks like the old guard is having a normal one.

Sec of the Navy out

WHY WOULD WE HELP THEM WITH THAT?

So this is how I find out I'm not the new CEO of Apple? Way to #thinkdifferent.

Apple names insider John Ternus as CEO, Cook to become executive chairman www.forth.news/articles/CaF...

He’ll always be Tim Apple to me.

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

DOJ Demands 2024 Ballots from Detroit County; Michigan Officials Reject Request

So are all mermaids just unemployed?

The ballroom construction continues, for now.

So are all mermaids just unemployed?

We cite our sources, follow journalistic norms, and still look to traditional journalists for their reporting and color. Sign up, follow topics, and let us know what you think. We want to help journalism, not antagonize it.

If journalists needed another reason to hate AI (and AI startups), here you go. That said, this company takes an interesting premise and takes it to a chilling extreme. Agreed, publicly verifiable information is good! (and full disclosure, that's what @forth.news is all about.) But... 🧵⬇️

happy fifteenth birthday casey!

This pup is 15! Happy birthday, Casey. Good girl.

If journalists needed another reason to hate AI (and AI startups), here you go. That said, this company takes an interesting premise and takes it to a chilling extreme. Agreed, publicly verifiable information is good! (and full disclosure, that's what @forth.news is all about.) But... 🧵⬇️

Live Nation and Ticketmaster Found Illegal Monopolists in Multi‑State Antitrust Trial

Live Nation and Ticketmaster Found Illegal Monopolists in Multi‑State Antitrust Trial www.forth.news/stories/Ca6C...

No mother, it's just the Northern Lights.

Trump decided to Doordash McDonalds today. From WH press pool: www.forth.news/lists/whpool...

Swalwell's that ends well.

When you have to bend a paperclip and press down on the button in that little hole….

Just a reminder that we knew Melania Trump's statement was happening as of *yesterday*. This was *planned* at least a day in advance.

After almost twenty years on the platform, EFF is logging off of X. This isn’t a decision we made lightly, but it might be overdue. 🧵 (1/5) www.eff.org/deeplinks/2...

👀 www.forth.news/lists/whpool...

By my count, there are now over 50 House Democrats, along with two Senate Democrats, who have called for Trump to be impeached or removed via the 25th Amendment for his post on Iran. More here: www.axios.com/2026/04/07/t...

Absolutely wild to me that the same government produced these two images on the same morning.

White House Press Pool report from this morning. Executive time until 4pm, and then “a whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again.”

The White House put out a press release filled with screen grabs of tweets, calling any rumors of the president's health issues "deranged leftists [...] spreading vicious, fabricated conspiracy theories." "...the Radical Left revealed the true sickness rotting their souls." (incl. @RedPillMediaX)

Mooning Artemis