New blog post: Back to Basics with Spell‑Checking.

look, it's very easy in any country to find examples of ugly-looking food - it's neither novel or interesting to point that out

I'm currently watching the new MSPs being sworn into the Scottish Parliament, and it's rather relaxing. Catch it while you can. www.scottishparliament.tv/meeting/meet...

May you live long enough to see your favourite teenage anthems appear on a vintage rock compilation.

New blog post: Digging into the Edinburgh Spoken-Word Scene.

I'm tackling some resistance training this afternoon. I've so far resisted training for at least three years now.

Every manager who comes in Monday morning with finger guns, having spent the weekend reading books like 'Creating a Positive Team Environment'.

Only guide dogs are allowed on the premises. No patrons, please.

I'm pleased to report an idea has now dislodged itself. Whether it was the same one that was brewing yesterday, however, is still debatable.

Here are my top tips for playing along with the venerable radio show Just a Minute: • Hesitations become obvious almost immediately, while deviation usually manifests after a few seconds. • Instead, listen out for repetitions. The only exemptions are short words such as: 'I', 'you', 'a,' or 'the'.

Do you ever feel like you're on the cusp of a cracking creative concept, but the idea is too vague to come out? I've been listening to a selection of favourite music tonight and I feel it brewing but it never comes to the boil. I'm off to bed now, so I hope it appears fully-formed in the morning.

I think hantavirus needs a more frightening name. At the moment, it sounds like a knock-off version of Norton or McAfee founded by someone called Hank.

Mets – ranked: 3. Police 2. Gala 1. Office

New blog post: A Night of Scots Language.

This seems as good an excuse as anyway to post my Shrek At A Funeral poem

When push notifications come to shove notifications.

I never did watch the final episode of that improv show. Whose line was it in the end?

New blog post: Trying Out Urban Folklore.

'You are number six in the queue. Would you like to chat to the other five people while you're holding?'

In 2014, more than 200 public figures wrote an open letter to the Guardian, urging a No vote for Scottish independence. Nearly 12 years on, I still feel I need to do something poetic with this information, but I don't know how to approach it. www.theguardian.com/politics/201...

New blog post: A New Impetus for Writing.

My plans for both Friday and Saturday nights fell through, albeit for legitimate reasons outside my control. However, I do somewhat wish I was an old-timey lothario with a little black book full of collected phone numbers to reach possible last-minute dates.

Is Bluesky back up at cruising altitude again? It's been down today and I was driven so mad that I nearly rejoined 𝕏, the everything app.

Things should start from itch because without that, there's no scratch.

New blog post: Listening to Lunar Lore.

Most of the known peaks on the lunar surface are upwards of 3000ft or 914.4m, leaving the field wide open for someone to bag all the Moonroes.

I think I'll start a Fear of Poetry course in the style of a Fear of Flying one. For the first five weeks, we focus on all the component parts of poetry and a reassurance that 'I've been doing this for 15 years without incident.' On week six, we visit a slam event to put the theory into practice.

I had a fry up in Pembroke once which came with seaweed, which is insane

New literature genre suggestions: Buyance Fiction - stories about futuristic retail outlets. Gistorical Novels - badly researched stories set in the past where the author only has the briefest grasp on the period. Growmance - romantic fiction exclusively set in garden centres. Etc.

Pilots, of course, should speak in plane English.

New blog post: A Daily Dose of Countdown.

petrol isn't even that expensive compared to nicer drinks like orange juice or beer

The Artemis programme is great and all, but I don't recall Wallace & Gromit having much trouble reaching the moon.

ERNIE: you could have it all, my empire of Bert.

This is a glorious form of words that should be in the Paris Review.

There should be Crazy Snooker with like windmills and zigzags on the table

As it's the second day of the month, I need to know whether the plate of Beeston Bananas is still appearing on the pavement. At the time of writing, there have been no updates on Wikipedia, nor anywhere else, in 2026. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beeston...

We're thinking alike.

New blog post: Join the ALCS Today.

Police are looking for a break in the case.

Travelling Wilbury Demon Hunters

New blog post: Typing on a Vintage Computer.

Acorn Computers has now become Oak Tree Computers.

Laughter tracks in comedy shows are well established but we need thrillers with tracks of people going oooh over the top of them at the excitement moments and plot twists

New blog post: This Year's Visit to StAnza.

The words “Britpop Demon Hunters” appeared in my head and I’m feeling queasy

I think potato waffle manufacturers need to experiment beyond the 5×4 grid. There was some promise with the mini 2×2 format, but nothing since. Let's be bold and make a 10×8 one, or 15×12; even a square or a more oblong version.

Only 993 years left in Cat Jail for Patricia Lockwood.

The feminine form of 'nutter' is, of course, 'nuttress'.