This is a glorious form of words that should be in the Paris Review.

There should be Crazy Snooker with like windmills and zigzags on the table

As it's the second day of the month, I need to know whether the plate of Beeston Bananas is still appearing on the pavement. At the time of writing, there have been no updates on Wikipedia, nor anywhere else, in 2026. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beeston...

We're thinking alike.

New blog post: Join the ALCS Today.

Police are looking for a break in the case.

Travelling Wilbury Demon Hunters

New blog post: Typing on a Vintage Computer.

Acorn Computers has now become Oak Tree Computers.

Laughter tracks in comedy shows are well established but we need thrillers with tracks of people going oooh over the top of them at the excitement moments and plot twists

New blog post: This Year's Visit to StAnza.

The words “Britpop Demon Hunters” appeared in my head and I’m feeling queasy

I think potato waffle manufacturers need to experiment beyond the 5×4 grid. There was some promise with the mini 2×2 format, but nothing since. Let's be bold and make a 10×8 one, or 15×12; even a square or a more oblong version.

Only 993 years left in Cat Jail for Patricia Lockwood.

The feminine form of 'nutter' is, of course, 'nuttress'.

New blog post: The Documentary-to-Drama Pipeline.

I'm currently thinking about that mushroom with 23,000 sexes and how wild their dating apps would be: "Voluptuous XXYXY seeks 'fun-guy' of YYXYX or similar for XXX times."

New blog post: The Art of Implied Dialogue.

New blog post: The Power of The Name http://wp.me/p3ZWAm-6Y

If you have a device with a feature containing the words 'Smart' or 'Easy', this is a proprietary gimmick and should be avoided at all times.

I would give this a Perfect 10.

New blog post: The Unpredictablity of Live Performance.

It looks like another day of being slightly annoyed that European history didn't pan out just a little differently, so the EU alone needs to use 24 official languages instead of the entire continent being dominated by some form of mutually-intelligible neo-Latin variant.

I thought about buying property in Norway, but it's unaf-fjord-able.

Tickle a Policeman Thursday. ACAT

The worst thing about a Peter Pancake is that if you toss it in the air it Neverlands. 🥞

@strongmisgiving.bsky.social Just before the phone lines go crazy at midnight, I'd like to be the first to wish you a happy Shrove Tuesday.

Shrove Tuesday Eve! Who's still got to buy and wrap their pancakes for tomorrow?

Tactile poetry. The audience each gets a big book like a carpet sample binder and you direct them to rub their faces in it at indicated points during the performance

New blog post: Three Ways to Proofread in a Hurry.

The villanelle of the piecenelle.

The Vengabus is sacred And everybody’s naked Mecca to the Vatican The water’s fine, come on in The glass that’s stained is humbling And the jacuzzi’s bubbling So if you like to exalt Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt

New blog post: Warming Up for the StAnza Festival.

There should be vegetarian butchers where you get a flank of tofu, cuts of Quorn, and Linda McCartney sausages on a string

It's lucky I don't live on Mars, because whenever something unbelievable happens, I'd forget to exclaim, 'What on Mars...?'

I suddenly recalled tonight that I was once serenaded with the Brenda Russell track Piano in the Dark by a girl in the school year below me. Her piano-playing and singing were spot-on. However, it was the intense eye contact for the entire song that I still don't know how to interpret.

Further to looking at my new book cover, I wrote about getting the book published

New blog post: Stage Presence and Off-Stage Presence.

Banking apps should have a whimsical Animal Crossing mode that shows your funds in bells rather than sterling.

Happy Monday, persons. www.youtube.com/watch?v=7THj...

The phrase 'You said, we did' has a secret middle clause, which is 'someone wilfully misinterpreted'.

New blog post: A Tale of Two Topics.

Poets, comics, and other performers! I have a question, and your answers might make it into a future blog entry. On Desert Island Discs, the comedian Alan Carr mentioned that he doesn't like watching other stand-ups. In fact, when he's on a bill, he only turns up for his own slot. (P1/3)

French guy who lives in Wigan who goes by the name Wigan Pierre

@strongmisgiving.bsky.social It's a shame you deleted that update because:

Fringe rejected my puppet version of Crash using hard boiled eggs because, in their words: “it’s too hot”

She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, although I've repeatedly told her it's twice as fast using the motorway.

New blog post: The Cultural Value of the Public Domain.

We're now at Season 5. What is the name of Casio keyboards is that theme tune all about?

We haven't had a major dance craze for a while. I think one is overdue.