Movies you've watched more than six times using gifs. (No Star Wars, Star Trek, or LOTR)

Pope Francis after meeting JD Vance:

Truth

"Judge me by my actions." Okay. Done.

"I put the ‘R’ in the MMR vaccine, and I’m scared that, like measles, rubella could make a comeback under RFK Jr." - Dr. Stanley Plotkin speaks up about the serious harms rubella caused, and the risks Kennedy is bringing back. www.inquirer.com/opinion/comm... via @inquirer.com

In retrospect, the munchies may have made our eyes bigger than our stomachs. But bomb ass Indian food is worth the gluttony.

Don't worry guys, I've been informed by someone FAR more intellectual and discerning that these posts are all radfem propaganda and there are no more misogynists because men are the true victims!

My SAHM sister bought a chicken coup off of Amazon, helped the delivery guy back into her driveway, then assembled the entire coup with my baby nephew on her back. Fuck out of here.

I'd come UNGLUED if I saw someone manhandling my niece or nephew like that. Physical discipline is un-fucking-necessary, especially at 4.

I have received 5 customer service complaints from this morning alone, it's only 10:48am, and I have reached the point of dissociation where all I hear is Ruby Rhod screaming "CORVINNNN DALLAAAAAS."

Honestly, props to her for not slapping him for doing that at her BEST FRIEND'S WEDDING. I would be so furious that my SO made her day about him and tried to do that to me in front of all those people...

with apologies to @xkcd.com

@raidenshred.bsky.social I hope this post finds you before my thralls do... 🪄🧹😈

Before I lost my shit: I̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶m̶a̶i̶l̶ ̶f̶i̶n̶d̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶w̶e̶l̶l̶!̶ 🤗 After I have lost my shit: I hope this email finds you before I do. ಠ_ಠ

Trump was always going to spend his second term screaming "They're stealing our MOON CANDY!" then crashing the global economy because of the ghosts in his brain, but it might have helped if so many media outlets hadn't run "Here's what your share of a Moon Candy seizure might look like!" stories

This is the level of spite I relate to. Hell yeah, Booker.

When people show you who they are, believe them.

So we're not going to spiral today which means I shut my brain off and power cleaned my bathroom then meal prepped Buddha bowls for lunch this week making my own sauce out of rice vinegar, hoisin sauce, chili oil, and cane sugar. And a little Sriracha because I'm basic.

Went from owing $400 to getting $900+ back, LET'S FUCKING GO.

Just about to file my taxes so I'll either end up surprisingly happy or crashing out and crying, stay tuned for updates. 🙃😫

There is no bigger victim than a man who wants to be a victim.

Just had to run into work with no makeup on and no hair done wearing grubby clothes because I forgot all my tax shit and I have an appointment to file today 😭 "Oh Em GeE, i DiDn'T eVeN rEcOgNiZe YoU!" I KNOW CHERYL, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FILE THAT FUCKING CHART.

This is Pippa. She’s been on many scenic hikes and has seen many beautiful views. But she has also napped through her fair share of those views, and we don’t blame her one bit. 14/10 #SeniorPupSaturday

Who the hell was waiting to tell me Alien is now a tabletop RPG?!

There is no fucking way I just had to tell a mother that her two children could not wear roller skates in our lobby. There is also NO WAY that she actually thinks I'M THE ASSHOLE for doing so.

Jesus, I have the biggest fucking attitude problem today. I don't know if it's the planets or the eclipses or working too much or what but I'm just not having it today. And I took my meds and I'm not PMSing, thank you very much.

Oh yeah, I'm not going to go back to Twitter. I'd much rather have peaceful ignorance. Absolutely not, enjoy swimming in the sewage.

Nothing will ever be as weird or as pathetic as 40 something year old men beefing with a 23 year old actress making movies for children they were never going to see anyways. You people need to log off for a while and get a hobby.

"Does your bf video call you before he goes to bed?" We are five hours apart, if he called me before bed, he'd catch me with cold cream on my face, ripping my vape pen, and making salisbury steaks with boxed mac and cheese for dinner. Trust me, some things are better left a mystery.

Most of the time, I don't mind being a woman living alone but every once in a while, something happens or someone creepy shows up and it really, REALLY makes me wish my boyfriend lived in the same country as I do. And yes, that did hurt to admit, thank you very much.

I have to work late tonight during winter storm warnings but I got tomorrow off and got it off paid, let's fucking hear it for aggressive negotiations and strong ass margaritas waiting for me at home.

This is the stupidest administration in our country's history and that is an insanely high bar to clear. I mean, Jesu Christi.

Ah yes, this is a believable 18 year old from the late 18th century with a costume accurate for that time period. ಠ_ಠ

This is going to be weirder than usual.

If you see this, quote with the energy you bring to BlueSky

When the toddler grabs for your present first and screams with excitement when they see it:

Won't you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor? I don't believe in God, but I believe that you're my savior. My mom says that she's worried, but I'm covered in His favor, And when we're getting dirty, I forget all that is wrong. I sleep so I can see you 'cause I hate to wait so long...

Just heard a woman say she won't wear leggings because she was "made for her husband" and I actually visually gagged. Like Jesu Christi, girl.

This is a war crime. Or a whar crime, if you will. Either way, I hate it.

I was so excited to be able to go home at 5pm tonight until my administrator popped in and said, "hey remember there's a front staff meeting I want you at tonight" and I think I'm going to throw myself down a flight of stairs.

I don't want to be developed at work. I develop myself and it has nothing to do with work. I don't want to waste my finite time on corporate bullshit.

If I have to work another 13 hour shift again, I'm going to go to Dublin early and never return. Fuck it, I'll wait tables and sleep in a hostel, I don't give a flying fuck.

Me today:

I'm trying to focus on providers' schedules and medical record requests we sent to major specialty clinics and people kept talking way too fucking loudly in my office so I started singing Springsteen's "Pink Cadillac" like Stewie singing Mr Belvedere's theme until they got the hint. ಠ_ಠ

Well, 34 is the worst birthday on record. I'm leaving work and going to bed and maybe if I'm lucky I'll wake up in October.

Brother. I'm asking for one fucking day.

Happy fucking birthday, my schedule changed on my day off and I was supposed to open but no one told me and now everyone is acting like I'm an asshole despite NEVER notifying me of this change and forgetting how often I come in early and stay late.