"We could have had an Assassin's Creed game where we get to kill the murderous fanatics who wear white hoods!"

Studies show political ideology and tribalism negatively affects people's ability to assess objective facts, even when they're right in front of them. www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y5_...

That's the thing about real life. There's nothing so stupid that it can't possibly happen.

Now let's see how the Irish presidential election is going...

Hallelujah.

In fairness, he does have the potential to unite everybody in celebration.

In my case it's more of an asshole.

Her: Aw, you're not that much like Johnny Silverhand. Me: Aww, thank you, dear. 🥰 🧠: Hey, shithead! Me: Oh. No. 🧠: What's that song? Me: Please, don't. 🧠: Fuck you, that shit's our Freebird. What are we thinking about? Me: ...the fuckin' fall of Rome. www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4ns...

I'm a train when I'm hateful

Introducing my girl to SoM like www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC-e...

When you have treatment-resistant major depressive disorder with comorbid avoidant personality disorder.

My girl and I be like

POV: You're an average ordinary everyday pleb in the 1970s and suddenly you see these absolute pussy destroyers walking down the street coming to steal yo girl.

Thank God we live in much more civilized times >_>

Saturday plans

The president of Ireland should be someone who can watch Schindler's List without getting an erection.

Whenever I come dangerously close to forgetting that people just don't fucking like me.

He said the thing that's the thing from the other thing.

Fear and Loathing in Night City

My problem is that today the system doesn't just demand I do certain things, but that I also feel specific negative emotions ("How can you NOT be outraged by this?!?" "If this doesn't terrify you, you're not paying attention!") and I just can't do that second one, sorry.

Gamer McGamerface: "OMG I can't wait for Mass Effect 5 and all the gay characters in it I'm going to have so much gay sex and we're all going to be so gay!" The Saudis:

This sign is trying to start a fight with me.

"What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?!" I believe that people, without thinking, turn themselves into their enemies.

Damn, EA, are you Bill Murray in Zombieland? Because you played yourself.

She just has to smile to blow my cares away She just has to touch my hand to make me stay

And you, you can be mean And I, I'll drink all the time 'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact Yes we're lovers, and that is that

The problem with growing up without a war in your back garden with no good guys is you're not only susceptible to a romanticised idea of war, you also grow up without peacemakers.

Good.

I VOLUNTEER!

And everybody tells me that it's cool to be a cat Cool for cats

Literally everything.

BREAKING: Simon Harris has officially elevated the threat level from "careful now" to "concerned."

One of the most annoying things about living in Ireland is the idiots who think we're America. The president is not the head of government. We do have public healthcare and it's shit. Our police aren't armed. We didn't have colonies or slavery. We don't have marines.

"Ah, an excellent suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One, we don't have any equipment for the marines. And two, Ireland doesn't have any marines." "Well that's put a crimp in an otherwise damn fine plan."

I don't use the word "hero" lightly...

If you don't want the bad guy to kick your puppy, then you don't kick his. That way when he tries to kick yours, there's an actual difference between the two of you. One of you is right and the other is wrong. It's not complicated.

Then they brought him back to the 80s with them and told him "Hey, Rabbi, to prevent anyone getting suspicious you should go by a fake name." "Very well, my brother. In that case just call me 'Keanu.'"

The real moral of that story is in the end the villagers were actually glad the wolf ate that fucking kid.

If a tree falls in the woods and there's nobody around to hear it, do partisan twats still find a way to blame Jews?

In dreams I walk with you In dreams I talk to you In dreams you're mine All of the time we're together In dreams, in dreams www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8Jz...

I just hope my debt makes more cents than my life.

If only there was a way for your enemies to die but not become martyrs. Well, it exists, but nobody fucking likes it. Because it's called "old age."

Another good reason why we shouldn't kill people (aside from the fact it's bad) is that it tends to make everybody crazy fucking idiots.

I present to you The Week So Far:

"I'm gonna punch myself in the dick." "Please don't punch yourself in the dick." "Fuck you, I'm punching myself in the dick!" *SMACK!* "...Jesus, dude." "Uuuurrrgghh... ha... ha... really... really owned you libs, huh?"

"It's the privileged who talk like this! We need to burn down the system for the oppressed!" What do you think will happen to your disabled allies in the starvation and rubble of a civil war fought with cruise missiles and drones? You think their meds will still be available?

What a week, huh?

Much is made of "The Old Man & The Gun" being Robert Redford's "final film." But his cameo in “Avengers: Endgame” came after that. Which means, technically, that #RobertRedford's actual final film also became the highest-grossing movie of all time.