I'd like to be by Sarah Michelle Gellar's "east entrance".🥵

SOLID advice, who has David Boreanaz's phone number?🥵

Do not ask for the tiger unless you wish to be eaten.🍀

I'm perfectly fine.🥲

On my fifth full-series rewatch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I just realized Glory couldn't use a loofah because she's a god, and thus she would need a loofah of the gods to exfoliate. There is so, SO much wrong with season 5.😑

Charlie Kirk and Jerry Falwell are probably in Heaven, so I'm good here, thanks.🍀

If it's not Irish, it's crap!!!🐸🍀

Guys, I promise I didn't fuck my car. She's very pretty, but I think of her as a mechanical horse, not a girlfriend.

Marjorie gets it.🍀

Vag of honor.🍀

Cats are so much better than dogs.

Mine goes to 11.

in the infinite night stars forget they died and carry on their light #haikufeels #haiku

That's absolutely nuts. DEEZ NUTS!

When it comes to Kirsten Dunst, my mind stays firmly in the gutter, thank you very much, accent on the "FIRMLY".🥵

caddy is short for cat daddy

#SocialSecurity #disabilities #disabled #disability #PSA

Mmm... SANDWICH.

I've had that relationship.😑

I'm living for a half-assed recanting on my death bed. I can say crazy things and change my mind right up until I run out of forever. I don't have to die by a goddamn thing I say. Y'all need to quit imposing on everyone. Your opinions do not define reality. It's so much more complicated than that.🍀

My upper left wisdom tooth has been growing in slowly for about 11 years. Every time it decides to add another micrometer to its exposed length, I have to pop my ear approx. 500 times in nearly-debilitating pain. Never on the weekend; my upper left wisdom tooth waits 'til my work days to attack.

That feeling when you pick up a food order to deliver from a strip club, but it's intermission.😑

One thing all the caterwauling about Charlie Kirk makes clear is how very many people do not give a single shit about murdered schoolchildren.

"Tryna make friends of my enemies" -Bono

That's what Stormy Daniels said.

I hate all Italians*, but it's okay, because I'm very polite about it.🍀

I like my ladies waxed, what's the problem?😎

I'm an ethnically Irish American man, and social media has been a toxic hellhole for me. I've been harassed, cyberbullied, threatened, libeled, and slurred. I've made bitter enemies without trying. No need to fractalize it: EVERYONE is suffering from social media, and EVERYONE is at risk.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNERDLES

That ship has already sailed.

I've had that relationship.😑

Dark Fuckerberg hoped the evidence would... go up in smoke: youtu.be/YeemJlrNx2Q?...

I've been a Chase Bank customer for over a decade and a half. I don't need to read this to know they're evil. Their money order fees make the Spanish Inquisition look friendly.

Taste the Painbow.™

People are often sweaty in the Mississippi River basin probably. I will use any pretext, no matter how thin, to post another glorious song by Train. youtu.be/jxPpAKG0mYQ?...

LISTEN BITCHES AND HOES 🌟

JUSTIFIED.

This is that foxy content I come here for.🫠

Farmers will wake up. When their roosters crow. Because that's how farmers work: Get up when the cock up. COCK-A-DOODLE, YES THEY DO.

The Left/Liberals/Democrats are broadly deeply ableist. I've been shocked by how much backwards talk I see from the people who are supposed to be my coalition of political peers. Having cared for many disabled loved ones, and having amassed a few disabilities myself, I feel deeply betrayed.

There's a "bra" in every Nebraska.🥵 ...and a "ska".🧐

POUCH POUCH CAT IN A POUCH

LEGIT.🍀