Hooked from the very first two notes.

Corey Lewandowski should be charged with necrophilia.

Basically.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is more woke on Israel than Jasmine Crockett.

1. What is this guy’s name? 2. Man, what is the ONE thing, EVER, that he asked you not to do?

What a life.

The best band in the world.

Exclusive | Pete Hegseth did not order Admiral Mitch Bradley to execute an airstrike on shipwrecked Venezuelans. He texted the order to a journalist.

I will give a year of my salary to the first WH pool reporter that calls him a fat, lying, kid-fucker to his fat, lying, kid-fucking face.

I was given a pardon by Biden in '22. (shoplifting, necrophilia - long story) Am I supposed to turn myself in again??

Ask me about my Black Friday deals.

The National Chilaquiles Research Project continues while my better half queues to get inside the original Starbucks. #chilaquiles #pikeplace

I haven't given a shit about Thanksgiving since Barry Sanders retired.

we did a peaceful transfer of power to this

Thank god he wore socks.

Another $1 trillion added to our debt in one single month. This cannot continue.

I've waited my entire adult life for this.

@mariaelenaw111.bsky.social This is fucking gold. I can't wait to see them live.

Maybe MTG had a Reverse-Fetterman Cerebral Infarct. A Woke Stroke.

https://

Yngwie is the 🐐😂

💃🏻🎸

It's a big Guitar Appreciation Saturday over here in my hotel room.

The most beautiful song you'll ever hear. Yes, ever.

Sometimes, I wish I could count time signatures. Then, I realize it would only make me an even more annoying Tool fan.

Happy #caturday! This is Jeff.

Can we just start calling Mamdani "Bubba" now?

This is coming for him.

Past the lips and through the teeth Little promises to keep Tie the bag off all the way So the secret won't fall out Keep me close to circus fools and lean-tos Big brother wants to catch you In your lowest moment, shout! Just give it a rest Just give it a rest

cereal boxes stopped having prizes like they did in the 80's and 90's, and now everyone is a white nationalist

What perfect album came out the year you turned 16?

Does anyone know what happened to @antifaoperative.bsky.social ?

We saw Bugonia the other night and it’s still stuck in my head. #stavroshalkias is perfect in a totally unexpected role. Aidan Delbis deserves Best Supporting buzz—and he should 100% play JD Vance in the inevitable movie about this mess.

Just found out my wife's family back home accidentally let our Chihuahua get out and it's at the humane society.

https://

Adderall would like to apologize for its role in all this mess.

Brain Defrag: Engaged

At my posthumous celebration of life, everyone will eat 3g of psilocybin and play this on repeat. It's part of my advance directive.

Who you tryna get crazy with, esé? Don't you know I'm loco??

Sorry, Venezuela. There are dogs to be wagged.

Does your highschool alma mater have its own pediatric research hospital?

I hope Karoline Leavitt is up against the same wall as Trump when he finally gets Ceausescu'd.

No one hates its own supporters more than the Democratic Party.

What helps me write sad stories.