recovering from watching the san jose sharks by eating ice cream with habanero salt on it

shakir mukhamadulin is younger and more beautiful than john klingberg and also doesn't make me text my friends asking them if they'd help me hide a body

shark Oh my god chalie lindgren please do not make it be one of *these* nights

seeing as it's "everyone gets a summary of their music listening habits" day, if you give me a number between 1 and 100 today I'll reply with the corresponding song

I'm an expert at liking bands that are just a little bit christian, apparently

“I asked if there’s anything he wants the fans to know and he said yes but that it’s a secret that’ll be revealed in a few months” 🏳️‍⚧️?

for the first time in a while. HOLY MOLY ITS TYLER TOFFOLI

sharkposting time omg smitty what a pass by toff

not that I have any interest in doing so but I am never beating the hopeless lesbian allegations huh

Craaaazy how the sharks’ power play actually looks good when john klingberg isn’t on it! Who could have seen this coming!!

not that I have any interest in doing so but I am never beating the hopeless lesbian allegations huh

well this has been an interesting start to a game of hockey

Zohran Mamdani doesn’t make me, an American Jew, feel unsafe. Having the Coast Guard, which falls under the Department of Homeland Security, decide that a swastika isn’t really a symbol of hate? That makes me, an American Jew, feel pretty damn unsafe.

sjark huge fan of this scoring immediately thing

this macklin celebrini guy is kinda insane huh!

It’s transgender awareness week, so if you weren’t already aware, you are transgender

I wish more of the people I want to spend time with every day or even every week lived in the same city I do. But noooooo instead everyone has to live a million miles away from me and I can’t cuddle with them

Having a brain is kinda a lot sometimes huh

hello san jose sharks could we maybe consider getting one (1) shot on goal

!!!!! look at us

hello john klingberg could you please be a little bit better at hockey than this today please

I really do not want to think about the cowardice of chuck schumer so instead I will think about lesbianism. fun fact girls are really cool

BEATING THE PRESIDENTS TROPHY AND STANLEY CUP WINNERS BACK TO BACK NIGHTS OHHHHHH YEAH

Having a brain is kinda a lot sometimes huh

✨abuser gone✨

the last four days have felt like three weeks and I know that is a cliche but also it legitimately feels pretty accurate for the way my brain is working right now

hello I missed the first three minutes of the game and the sharks have already scored. could you have waited like two minutes mack pls. how inconsiderate

I know I keep saying this but LOOK HOW PRETTY

“I’m going to go to sleep at a more reasonable hour tonight”, she says, earnestly, forgetting just how much of a hopeless lesbian she is

ZOHRANNNNNNNN god I love democratic socialism

Jesus christ today has been a lot

Nooooo I got back home just in time to still miss sam dickinson's first goal but also SAM DICKINSON'S FIRST GOAL YAYYYYYYYY

it is time to not engage with baseball for another many months I fricking hate it here

Last minute Halloween costume (elf princess but like don’t look at my ears okay)

apologies for being more annoying about hockey recently it will continue

sjark yayyyyy shakir mukhamadullin back yayyyyyy

okay so I know I keep lesbianposting but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa my brain is just a little bit exploding

hey so if you vote for this man in the 2028 primary we cannot be friends and that is nonnegotiable

I love lesbianism!! This is not news but still!! Lesbianism!!

I sharkspost yet again can we please stop giving them the puck for free please

3 year hrtversary today :) I look pretty similar but it’s kinda wild that it’s been this long. And I definitely feel much more confident in my appearance than 2022 Zealin did

If I were to make a list of inanimate objects I would like to fight I think the oakland airport baggage claim would be very high on the list

I am at an airport and far too sleepy to find interesting things to do. So uhhhhh ama I suppose. If you ask me questions it will give me something to do

My stomach just made a noise that sounded exactly like an electronic synthesizer and my brain immediately going “that was an A flat” is easily the stupidest thing I’ve ever used my perfect pitch on

I am at an airport and far too sleepy to find interesting things to do. So uhhhhh ama I suppose. If you ask me questions it will give me something to do

YOUR SAN JOSE SHARKS FINALLY SECURE THEIR FIRST WIN OF THE SEASON!!!

THE SHARKS WON AN OCTOBER GAME

sharks time again and jeez this graf-misa-gaudette line is kinda crazy

uhhhhh like a 3