Starting a rumour that if you meet here at night a guy will deal you a haircut

Really enjoying Witchy Girls:

I wish Tourism Australia would stop posting pictures of American celebrities at the Sydney Opera House *finger of the monkey paw curls down*

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

Is there comedy room where they actually use the old-timey microphone?

You can't park there, mate

I love the stuff Proudly do. Support the weird live punk comedy in Melbourne!

Just found out who's in the next season of Taskmaster 😂

This is worth a read. By the way, fun fact: the Fringe Chair is Michael Kantor, nephew of Rupert Murdoch.

My friend Maddy Weeks is doing Melbourne International Comedy Festival Roadshow. Tell your friends in Karratha!

Daði Freyr calling out the hypocrites

I wish there were an Australian run of Oh, Mary! I'd even fly to Sydney to see it.

Whenever I’m watching Grand Designs and the date the project starts flashes up, and that date is AD 2019, I start hooting and hollering. I wish this mysteriously liquid part time maths teacher and his seemingly unpregnant partner all the best on their conversion of this collapsing 16th century mill

Have You Been Paying Attention have uploaded episodes dating all the way back to 2013. Funny hearing references to "Prime Minister Abbott," and getting answers correct makes the comedians all seem like nerds, like how am I supposed to know who Times' Person of the Year 2013 was?

Because my niece made this card for Mothers Day, everyone in my family is telling my sister and my mum to "Hang in there" today.

No Instagram, I don't think he is

This is all just a WHO conspiracy to stop me from eating rat faeces.

We should tax our gas. I don't know why the government is dragging its feet on this. Do they really want to explicity demonstrate they care about gas companys' profits more than their voters? #TaxGas

Help! My date's leitmotif ended with a tritone!

Yesterday I saw Geoffrey Rush on Spring St, and today I saw Jimmy Carr on Elizabeth St. I wonder which celebrity I don't want to talk to I'll spot tomorrow on Swanston St, lol

Miles Lewis of the University of Melbourne Architecture School criticised the design of Fed Square saying it's "totally out of keeping with Melbourne" and looking like "somebody's luggage left there and then run over by a car."

I'm reading Federation Square Melbourne by Seamus O'Hanlon and it's saying in 1991 the CBD population was only 5,000.

This is the third doctor I've moved to because the previous stopped offering bulk billing.

In which the ABC's national work reporter uncritically reports that sick leave entitlements are a form of income support equivalent to welfare payments.

Much like the Chinese gooseberry, Kiwis done a great job convincing people that feijoas are native to Aotearoa.

I'm at the premiere of Witchy Girls.

🌕

People make fun of fanfic writers meanwhile celebrity fan artists are getting a $100k prize from some guy called Archibald what the hell

Still true unfortunately. Now Rinehart wants us to screen everyone's social media apparently.

Kind of a perfect metaphor for the media and the role they've played over the last ten years

This is not the time for wild speculation about what happened. It’s time to bet on Kalshi about what happened

I won an award because I saw 92 shows at the comedy festival.

Went on a tour with Coco the Time Travelling Tart at the NGV. 🤩

Comedy!

Comedians Auditioning for Musicals is always the best night of the comedy festival.

I've seen 60 shows at the MICF. My personal favourites have been Kate Dehnert, Frankie McNair, and Elf Lyons.

Congratulations on quitting* smoking, Anthony Albanese! (*Limiting to 3 cigarettes per hour)

Last night instead of "10 Comedians for $10," I saw Club Club's ambitious/deranged "100 Comedians for $10!"

Went to Groundhog Day Night where every comedian did the same set. It was unforgettable! (because we re-lived it over and over and over)

Look at the incredible nonsense happening at Theory Bar.

Many Melburnians have four colour-sensing cone cell types in their eyes (unlike most mammals' two or tree), giving them vision into the UV range, and (presumably) a much richer experience of colour. Melburnian fashion that appears dull blacks to us likely appear resplendent to other Melburnians.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I see lots of comedy shows. This one is brilliant. Go see it before it sells out. It's only in a small room.

Yesterday I set myself up at the Lunch Room at Town Hall and saw Grace Jarvis at 7:40, and Lena Moon at 9. I recommend you do that too! #MICF

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I see lots of comedy shows. This one is brilliant. Go see it before it sells out. It's only in a small room.

Everyone's moving Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan in together to be "room-mates," right?

Melbourne International Comedy festival has started! Tonight I saw back-to-back Kiwis at the Motley Wherehaus. Tim Batt and Rhys Mathewson's shows were both great.

Should I get my nipples pierced now, or should I first wait till we run out of petrol?

Melbourne has a big Italian community, why haven't they made an M-shaped pasta for Melbourne yet?

Genealogy is an addictive hobby but unlocking family secrets — and dealing with the fallout — can change your life.

ABC News: "We understand Pauline Hanson has been speaking at the One Nation event. Let's bring you some of that now." Pauline Hanson: [incomprehensible swamp monster noises] Yeah, sounds about right to be honest... #AusPol #SAParli #SAVotes