Bec Petraitis
@becness.bsky.social
📤 557
📥 42
📝 115
Bad influencer.
Hanging breasts off a handbag that's a laboob-boob
about 11 hours ago
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Banana for scale: never worn
4 days ago
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Making a biblically accurate snow angel by just flopping around a bunch
7 days ago
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Yes insomnia sucks but it's only one sleep til Christmas
19 days ago
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Got an eye test and yep! Confirmed! They're eyes!
20 days ago
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reposted by
Bec Petraitis
Martin Dunlop
about 1 month ago
(hearing it's been declared a Total Fire Ban day) surely they don't mean my Big Fire
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You gotta zooper that dooper! Zoop until you're dooped! I think I have heat stroke! Zoop doop zap dap boop!
about 1 month ago
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I still could be that guy you know who builds a vert ramp in their house and breaks their arm. Any day now.
about 2 months ago
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It's time for your Google Keep Wrapped! - You wrote 27 notes between midnight and 4am that mean nothing to you now! - Pretty sure there's some unlabelled passwords in here. - Hell yeah, keep pinning that motivational quote, king!!
2 months ago
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This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that "Rebecca Black is in Ballarat" is the most beautiful.
2 months ago
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Thinking of everyone today who doesn't want to admit they still use spotify but it said they were 21
2 months ago
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Shoutout to all the neuromilds, neuro- extra hots, and the neuro-lemon and herbs
2 months ago
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Me? I've never been better! I'm always unwell!
2 months ago
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I don't believe in a vengeful god but I know he'd smite an influencer opening a whole advent calendar at once.
2 months ago
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Who's got two thumbs and can I have one?
3 months ago
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I'm really starting to embrace an NPC lifestyle. I love to wander back and forth, I wear clothes, I threaten anyone who dares walk under my bridge, if you select the third option I stab - it's good!
3 months ago
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Clippy ripped me off??! That mouthy cunt.
3 months ago
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It's weird that graffiti isn't a pasta. I should be able to eat graffiti and meatballs.
3 months ago
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Oh no! I thought I would get raptured so I spent my superannuation on little treats!! I goofed my retirement!!! Please buy my ebay labubus!!!!
5 months ago
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Air fryer?? I hardly know her!!!!! PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME CRISP UP THIS WOMAN STRANGER.
5 months ago
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I keep worrying that I never wear sunscreen but then I remember I don't go outside. The ultimate sunscreen? Roof.
5 months ago
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I find it difficult to relate to a lot of people but every video I see of a seal, I'm like, "I get it, man."
6 months ago
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'The Subway' is about me. I have green hair and am there all the time. I love sweet onion chicken teriyaki.
6 months ago
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Ah the weekend, time to catch up on my stories. (𝘞𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘪𝘬𝘵𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘔𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘮'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴)
7 months ago
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Um no I'VE got Bette Davis' eyes and I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM.
7 months ago
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Michelin star chefs think they're allllll that!!! Alright cook me doritos nachos!! They would have no idea how to make dip I eat off a spoon! And they couldn't comprehend butter noodle!!!!
7 months ago
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I was just trying to be the best court jester, I don't think I deserved to get got for contempt of court :(
7 months ago
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"...well, is there a Mrs I???" "-THIS IS VERY SERIOUS!! You threw a cutlery drawer at the MRI-" "-I shoulda known Mr I was attractive!!" "A MAN IS DEAD"
8 months ago
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reposted by
Bec Petraitis
Martin Dunlop
8 months ago
That's old sonic the hedgehog there. Always going fast, he was. Always getting pregnant.
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A 'Looka-like Cam!' graphic flashes across the baseball stadium screen as a star wipe reveals a big image of a butt. The butt image shrinks down to allow for a split screen with its looka-like, sitting in the stands. It's you. The man in the control room thinks you look like a butt.
8 months ago
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Bought my first house, tore back the carpet and was blessed with the original flooring!! It's vintage dirt! Worms and all!!
8 months ago
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"My dog is my doctor. A dogtor if you will-" "-ma'am I can't fill a prescription written in dog piss."
8 months ago
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Going to a colour analysis appointment just to feel the texture of the fabrics, let me at em
8 months ago
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I need an ambulance I can catch like uber pool, for when I've broke my leg but can hold it for a stop or two. This will save money and gives me the welcome distraction of avoiding chit chat.
8 months ago
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UhhH yeah I've got BDE. Big Dipshit Energy 😎
9 months ago
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Bought my first house!! Got a discount cause someone did a murder in it! Two bedrooms!!
9 months ago
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Buying my own personal ball pit so only I can piss in it <3
9 months ago
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I want to claim knick-knacks on tax
9 months ago
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Gonna be the new Benson Boone but do cartwheels and scream.
9 months ago
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SIKE!!! I'M NEVER GONNA SHUT UP!! YOU GOT GOT!
add a skeleton here at some point
9 months ago
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If the election goes poorly, I'm going to get so much more annoying and loud. A vote with me is a vote to silence women and isn't that what you want?? C'mon!!!!
9 months ago
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You can't spell 'a cost of living crisis' without 'Coalition'. And yeah, I put the 'a' at the start to make it work but that's less of a stretch than their costings.
9 months ago
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All markers are scented markers but most of them just smell like marker
9 months ago
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Working artists have two mindsets: - Temporary income positivity or - Disappointed your precious trinkets aren't worth anything on ebay
10 months ago
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Wait... that's not white smoke.... it's vape! Woah. That means the new pope is..... cool as hell.
10 months ago
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Weighted blankets aren't enough, I need one of those Looney Tunes anvils to sleep under
10 months ago
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Tried this pickleball everyone is going on about and it just tastes like plastic
10 months ago
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Thinking about running for the Liberals, cosplaying rich by shrieking "my investments!!"
10 months ago
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I actually would love to get brainwashed! Soap up my lobes!!
10 months ago
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Aliens actually have the opposite of those star light projectors to sleep, they light up the sky with a detailed map of the ceiling.
10 months ago
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