The gates of hell are not hot enough

I was feeling kind of blue this morning but then remembered Andrew Cuomo got demolished by a 34 year old Muslim.

Where are we going for reasonably priced gym clothes these days? I’ve had issues with gymshark sizing etc and looking for another.

Guys he's not starting a war to distract from the Epstein files. He's starting a war because he wants to start a war. Killing people in other countries makes him horny. If it also distracts from the Epstein files, great, but he doesn't really give a shit either way.

Is there a better iPhone weather app (with widgets)? The native one has soured on me.

The second you leave this country for even a few days, you realize the place you call home is decaying at an almost exponential pace. The realization that you don't have to live like this is stark, and that nobody in power is taking tangible actions to fix it in your lifetime is even starker.

So many things wrong with this but if you are this old and talking about your SAT scores you are an extreme loser who needs to be shamed.

me playing operation:

You all better wish my actual Persian brother @seancw.bsky.social a happy birthday right now!!!

I think I got food poisoning from the gyoza 🙃🙃

four drinks deep from happy hour and ordering gyoza. can’t hurt me now!!

good morning I am still dehydrated from this weekend

fifteen minutes into ep 4 and water works. Great way to start the day!!

Why is there a cartoon cow on this carton of eggs??

At that point of unpacking where I can’t find that *one* thing.

Not enough lotion in the world for my hands these days 🥴🥴

At the point of packing my home where chemicals are getting thrown into a box with food and I’ll take my chances.

UNITY THAT REFUSES TO NAME VIOLENCE IS JUST LOYALTY TO THE ONES HOLDING THE WEAPONS

Nooooo the sexy middle eastern comic I follow on ig is hawking crypto 😭😭😭

monday is sunday and I’ve had a few drinks so I have some thoughts.

it won’t stop.

I got my hair cut and all of a sudden I got the urge to go out.

You get until midnight tonight to finish posting your pics from 2016, then IT’S OVER. ENOUGH.

The Trump-Vance administration just used your taxes to pay for an ICE agent to do this to a 21-year-old kid, who was only protesting because another ICE agent killed a mother of three, who was only there because ICE agents are kidnapping your neighbors

Keeping up with my trend of crying at least once during every episode of The Pitt. s2e1, you got me!!!

The dog day care next to my new apartment just called to say they’re closing at the end of the month 😭😭😔

Comrade Hochul, welcome to the resistance.

round up every single one of these ICE officers and throw away the key.

a squirrel when he jumps onto a bird feeder:

“Fucking bitch” is not what you say about someone you’re actively scared of

yesterday’s adventures in take out

and these are my emotional support leftover ravioli

ok we gotta ban people in hotel lobbies in pajamas

Nothing says you’re in Boston more than two 20 something girlies each eating a three pound lobster at 11am.

Finishing off having the best Italian meal in Boston’s north end by having the worst cosmo ever at Gordon Ramsey’s burger restaurant.

My plot of bringing at least one middle eastern delicacy to every family event is going well.

Stress eating AND drinking around the holidays is an accomplishment I’m personally fond of.

DJ? Could you…um…maybe like….play a…uh…..Christmas song?

Two homemade martinis in and watching house hunters. AMA about fiscal policy.

wfh when sick chic look it up.

Why does Balcon have bendy straws??

Santacon has invaded the gay bars 😒😔

Great name: Blythe Danner

I get to work from home the rest of the day because my massive, block-long office building does not have heat.

Absolutely convinced this second large fountain Coke Zero for today will do the trick.

in a surprisingly good mood while at work in the office on a friday. what gives??

this is a fallon hate account through and through

oomf meetup to drink only pinot grigio when??

Imagine reading this paragraph to a pilgrim.