Butch lesbians will be the death of me. 💀💀

you know what the real data center is. the human mind. thank you,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This damn book made me cry again. "Life is short but love is long." 😭😭

Got a Magic 8 Ball and Legos for my birthday yesterday and I'm so pleased. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

My nephew is grounded from everything except using the house phone???? What has the bored 10 year old decided to do? THATS RIGHT! He decided that he's gonna call ME, his favorite aunt who loves him so much, SEVERAL times a day. He ended our conversation with "call you tomorrow" BROTHER NO 😭😭

So sorry to everyone in Richmond that doesn't get one of the sandwiches I just made for my wife. Y'all should be jealous.

I forgot to tell The Boy that someone would be coming in to inspect the fire sprinklers today. It was a man. The Boy does not like men. So now he keeps informing me that there WAS A MAN IN HERE MOM! THERE WAS A MAN!! MOM THERE WAS A MAN!!!!!

In case you wanted to know the cut hurt worse than the betrayal because I'm currently eating another piece of garlic bread.

If you think the Pope is a radical leftist, wait till you meet his boss.

I have the world's worst cut on the inside of my mouth because of a piece of garlic bread. I can't tell what hurts more. The cut or the betrayal.

The Earth Day Cabaret was a great time! I'm constantly astounded at the amount of talent in this city

He pilots the Beast for only me!!

On my way, babe. 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Its lesbian visibility week. Go out and kiss a butch about it.

At work and all I can think about is my paneer tikka masala leftovers at home. 😭😭

I think one of my biggest and only issues with living in Virginia is that Skyline and GoldStar chili restaurants don't exist here. I want a coney so bad right now.

For this evenings listening pleasure I present: A kazoo rendition of the Astronaut Highschool fight song.

April 20th: My Lesbian Wedding Anniversary, Beginning of Lesbian Visibility Week, The start of Taurus Season.... I am the most visible lesbian today and no one can convince me otherwise.

Immediately followed by Jump in the line. Didn't know we had a music icon DJing at the Shmole Shmoods Shmeat Shmepartment this morning.

The meat department is BLASTING Careless Whisper. ✨Effervescent✨

Okay but I think Loki actually just played a trick on me. ???????What just happened????? It's time for bed.

Seeing visions of a future I want SO BADLY today. Foaming at the mouth about it.

Not Check Yes, Juliet playing while I'm making buttered noodles at 2 am. Jeez everything is making me feel old tonight. 🤣💀

The app to make Dr. appointments is supposed to make it EASIER for me to make them but that would REQUIRE THE DAMN APP TO WORK FIRST. 😅💀😅

I was completely immersed in so much weirdness and love and fun and all my favorite people during Fringe and now I'm alone and without a task for the first time in 4 days. Suddenly I am feeling rather lonely.

Just broke up the community picnic my eyebrows were trying to organize.

Got up to pee and now my pillow feels wrong. Universe please. I already have zero will to live and now this????

Today while trying to date an antique heirloom fiddle my wife acquired I heard something... rattling around inside of it. Upon further inspection the following words left my mouth: "Oh my FUCKING god it's a RATTLESNAKE RATTLE!!!!!" 💀💀💀💀

Having a really hard time this morning, Scoob.

Hey Chris, what happened to your legs? Thanks for asking. I think they fell off at work.

Currently battling(untangling)the most fucked up yarn skein I've ever...sein. But I think I'm winning???

These 10 minute breaks go by way too fast. 💀

Hey chat should I leave early today? I simply cannot be expected to stay here any longer.

Some days my ADHD is stronger than my medicine. But today??? ✨I took the drugs and the drugs are working✨

Not Nala trying to eat my peepaw snacks. Girl it's just a saltine cracker.

Sometimes I wear a flowy house dress to relax in. It makes me feel like a long haired cat. ✨

Also imagine moving to a city on a recommendation I DIDN'T GIVE YOU because I DON'T LIKE YOU and then getting mad that I won't be your free tour guide.

Imagine hating me because I smoked weed IN MY OWN HOUSE 10 years ago. That must be a sad life, brother, cause I'm still smokin but you're still mad.

Enjoying my peepaw snacks with a very cold glass bottle of coke? ✨Effervescent✨

Oof. Feels bad, man.

Came across some old cosplay photos and the wig I had on really could have passed for my actual hair color wise. Well before life threw all the grey at me that is. 🤣🤣

Took a hell of a tumble today. Hurting real bad.

First time in my life I have only eaten only one Oreo in a sitting. Mega stuff should ❌not❌exist.

Hey besties. Jsyk (early) perimenopause, autism, and the current state of the world is an absolutely inhumane combination. I need a fucking drink.

Interacted with a basset hound today. ✨Effervescent✨

Robert, the kids are stressing me out.

Currently engaging in goblin activities. Will update shortly.

My cousin's 23 year old cat died today. Her name was Sissy and she'd been around since we were 10 years old. Torn up about it. Loved that little cat so much.