My niece just asked me if I know what BL is.... DO NOT speak to me of the old magic WITCH! I wAS THERE when it was WRITTEN! (she got embarrassed when I said "Oh you mean yaoi?" Lmao) 💀💀

Hey Universe. Quick Q. Could you maybe take me out to a nice dinner or something before you keep FUCKING ME LIKE THIS??????? Just wondering.

Me?? Having a hot flash at work???? It's more likely than you'd think.

Today I had to help my Uber driver navigate because he missed my work exit TWICE.

Very weird happenings. Grief is so sneaky and the universe is so funny.

Update: I googled when I should have just gone to sleep. 💀💀

Can your sinuses prolapse? If not I might be the first recorded medical case of it because they feel like they are FALLING OUT of my face.

Having a very grumpy day. Glad it's almost bedtime.

How did I end up with 3 trumpet players in my apartment?????

Reading tlt series to my wife aka putting on a one person show complete with many different character voices and I love it

Even when Ianthe makes me say the dumbest shit in her drawlingest voice

Oops. I didn't realize my back was hurting this bad until I finally sat still for a second.

An absolute nervous wreck today.

I don't think cooking brings me joy anymore. What the hell am I even supposed to do about that?? It's literally all I'm good at.

I've been so busy that I haven't seen my friends in forever. I miss y'all so damn much. Someone please invite yourself to my house for dinner soon or something.

I'm back home from SC. I had a great time but boy howdy there really is nothing like coming home to your own bed and your own toilet.

Night Hunter by Vitali Skvorkin

Passed by the giant peach in Gaffney earlier on my way to my mom's to visit for the week. Made me miss my wife. 🥺

AND MY DS CHARGER!

BROTHERS I FOUND MY SWITCH AND MY PS4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have Hayley Williams tickets. I have HAYLEY WILLIAMS tickets. I HAVE HAYLEY WILLIAMS TICKETS! WHAT?! I've only been trying to confirm her existence with my own eyes since I was 10 YEARS OLD. Little me, teenage me, young adult me, and current me are all SOBBING. Is this real life??😭😭

Butch lesbians will be the death of me. 💀💀

you know what the real data center is. the human mind. thank you,

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This damn book made me cry again. "Life is short but love is long." 😭😭

Got a Magic 8 Ball and Legos for my birthday yesterday and I'm so pleased. 🥰🥰🥰🥰

My nephew is grounded from everything except using the house phone???? What has the bored 10 year old decided to do? THATS RIGHT! He decided that he's gonna call ME, his favorite aunt who loves him so much, SEVERAL times a day. He ended our conversation with "call you tomorrow" BROTHER NO 😭😭

So sorry to everyone in Richmond that doesn't get one of the sandwiches I just made for my wife. Y'all should be jealous.

I forgot to tell The Boy that someone would be coming in to inspect the fire sprinklers today. It was a man. The Boy does not like men. So now he keeps informing me that there WAS A MAN IN HERE MOM! THERE WAS A MAN!! MOM THERE WAS A MAN!!!!!

In case you wanted to know the cut hurt worse than the betrayal because I'm currently eating another piece of garlic bread.

If you think the Pope is a radical leftist, wait till you meet his boss.

I have the world's worst cut on the inside of my mouth because of a piece of garlic bread. I can't tell what hurts more. The cut or the betrayal.

The Earth Day Cabaret was a great time! I'm constantly astounded at the amount of talent in this city

He pilots the Beast for only me!!

On my way, babe. 🏃🏻‍♂️💨

Its lesbian visibility week. Go out and kiss a butch about it.

At work and all I can think about is my paneer tikka masala leftovers at home. 😭😭

I think one of my biggest and only issues with living in Virginia is that Skyline and GoldStar chili restaurants don't exist here. I want a coney so bad right now.

For this evenings listening pleasure I present: A kazoo rendition of the Astronaut Highschool fight song.

April 20th: My Lesbian Wedding Anniversary, Beginning of Lesbian Visibility Week, The start of Taurus Season.... I am the most visible lesbian today and no one can convince me otherwise.

Immediately followed by Jump in the line. Didn't know we had a music icon DJing at the Shmole Shmoods Shmeat Shmepartment this morning.

The meat department is BLASTING Careless Whisper. ✨Effervescent✨

Okay but I think Loki actually just played a trick on me. ???????What just happened????? It's time for bed.

Seeing visions of a future I want SO BADLY today. Foaming at the mouth about it.

Not Check Yes, Juliet playing while I'm making buttered noodles at 2 am. Jeez everything is making me feel old tonight. 🤣💀

The app to make Dr. appointments is supposed to make it EASIER for me to make them but that would REQUIRE THE DAMN APP TO WORK FIRST. 😅💀😅

I was completely immersed in so much weirdness and love and fun and all my favorite people during Fringe and now I'm alone and without a task for the first time in 4 days. Suddenly I am feeling rather lonely.

Just broke up the community picnic my eyebrows were trying to organize.

Got up to pee and now my pillow feels wrong. Universe please. I already have zero will to live and now this????