Time for my quarterly search of narcolepsy.... Am I gonna do something about it this time? No

Feels like things are reaching fever pitch levels

My wife is eating whataburger without me </3

If this leasing lady doesn't answer me soon, we're gonna fight

Reading tlt series to my wife aka putting on a one person show complete with many different character voices and I love it

Letting me work at the other office location was definitely giving a mouse a cookie and I WILL be asking for more, thank you!!

I approached my violins with too much confidence and now I'm two E strings down 😅

Pto really burns a hole in my proverbial pocket

Two meetings before noon on a Monday is diabolical

Going from a lovely weekend full of art and music and friends back to spreadsheets is always so jarring.

What do I gotta do for a sub on some bread that's actually crusty. I'm tired of soft bread!!!!

They are certainly not paying me enough to do algebra at 8am

Out here being a spreadsheet wizard with no one to properly appreciate it

This storm is kicking up some weird energy

So glad that Chime needs to remind me every morning that I have 0 dollars. Very helpful. Very informative.

I could point out the embarrassing mistake my sup is making, but I think it's a better learning experience for her if I let her figure it out on her own. 😇

Loveee terrible things happening before 7am and then going to work right after. It's so fun

Deeeeeefinitely put my pants on backwards this morning

Well I ended up with an enthusiastic, "Hiiiii!" and then it was immediately dad jokes and bantering???? Wild.

What does one say to the father you haven't seen or heard from in 19 years who suddenly wants to reconnect and get dinner? So far I'm running w/ -damn you got old -sup loser -long time no see

I will not quit my job today. I will not quit my job today. But boy howdy do I want to

I really need a new job 💔

I thought we all stopped using Spotify 🤔

I don't want to be at work. I want to learn how to spin yarn 😭

Well today definitely made the top 10 of shittiest days

It's so funny when straight people that "aren't homophobic" use the "I don't care what anyone does in the bedroom" defense at me as a queer ace, bc a lot of them do actually have an opinion on what you DON'T do in the bedroom

"Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires." John Steinbeck

I miss my best friend 💔😭

The plight of being a fat butch lesbian is that everyone you know will always say that you look JUST LIKE *insert any other fat butch here*. when literally the only similarities are fat and butch.

Do you ever drive through a hurricane to go support your best friend?

I really really need a new job. Please universe, what must I do?

I'm so tired of working in corporate

Testing a crochet pattern..... that apparently doubles as a base for the eraserhead baby 💀

I love having concrete floors. I'm always rearranging my living room

I had a (different) sandwich for all 3 meals today.

When you disillusion your employees, they stop giving af. And boy howdy is it so much easier to not care.

Lost my voice laughing and talking to much while visiting my best friend 😭

I miss my wife so much when I'm at work 😭

Hey, y'all--tomorrow's #IndependentBookstoreDay! This year, both Amazon AND Barnes & Noble have sales designed to carve out some of our business on this particular weekend, which is extra shitty in this particular climate, but there are LOADS of ways to support indies tomorrow! 🧵

My best friend just casually mentioned that she's a worm farmer now? Girl these are the kind of life updates I need to know 🪱

My fave coworkers last day, I'm crying in the club

The CDC has literally been gutted today. There’s no need for “April Fools” when reality is a nightmare for every human on this planet. Thousand of scientists fired. Entire departments erased. 1/

So much of corporate sucks but man I love hosting meetings. Leading the discussion, showing what I know, keeping the topic on track, it's so fun. It's like a game.

I've noticed that if I'm going to have an unplanned interaction with a higher-up at work, it's gonna happen on a Thursday so now I make sure to dress a little extra nice/professional those days and it has worked in my favor more than once. Hell yeah pattern recognition lol

Work life balance sucks, I wanna go home

Eating lunch at the place my wife works, the sun is shining, they're playing Davie Bowie in here. It's the little things

I've been too busy the last day and half to be anxious but now that things have slowed down it's here full force

After all this I don't want to move at all today 😭

Baby cat #1 is under the couch. Cat #2 is on the couch comfy cozy like we've lived here forever. And #3 is wandering around looking lost. So it's all going exactly as anticipated