Happy Undercoat Shedding Management Season to all who celebrate! May the odds be ever in your vacuum cleaner’s favor

Fanciest damn frog bed I ever seen

smell claims court

Discovering new paths 😇

Get some dogs and you’ll never have to wonder what time your smoke alarm battery started chirping. 2:45am today, if you were wondering

“I can’t believe my daughter turned out so cruel! and evil!” —the parents who named their kid Cruella de Vil

NOSE

computer graphics (1995) web.archive.org/web/19961112...

uncle’s ankles uncle’s ankles uncle’s ankles

He holds in his hand a vial with the means to destroy us all

I’m Terry Fresh and this is Gross Air

mfw Cinco de Mayo’s on Tuesday

When you’re the most beautiful girl in the whole world (and could murder me quite easily)

Dudes rock

Flower report

When she says “I know a place” and “it’s time for you to make a sacrifice” and she obsessively caresses a strangely-cold ancient obsidian dagger that whispers arcane secrets

The hot water pressure in my shower had very gradually become horrible, in the exact opposite of a frog-in-boiling-water scenario

I don’t nap in my office very often, but when i do it’s always nice to wake up to a friendly face.

How I’m proceeding

It’s gonna be

stunt proboscis

I don’t think that will help

Millennial describing an incredibly traumatic period of their life: “Oh yeah, it was a Whole Thing”

We all know that one friend who makes goofy supply chain jokes. And if you don’t? Then it looks like I am Just In Time

oh okay this is my life now

I just know them shits are full of Greek salad.

The Myth of Consensual Alf Hog

Somebody should invent a weather that’s regular

It’s either this or That One Doorway

thank u Harbor Freight 🙏

Wagon Wheel came on while I was driving, and I immediately had to drive through a creek, swerve around a snake, and come to a stop at a desolate country church

LET’S TRY IT RIGHT NOW

A Youth in a work call referred to sending a file attached to an email as “the analog way” and I am going to go lie in the road

Breakfast of Champignons

I just wanna fuck around and do dumb shit all day (complimentary), but instead I gotta fuck around and do dumb shit all day (derogatory)

whats goin on in that lil walnut brain son

I need to go be somewhere

Completely tossed at the official conan the barbarian website’s cookie notification window.

Us skittering across this uncertain world

Happy 5 Seconds of Peonies and 5 Minutes of Strawberries to all who celebrate!

Which way, Western Man??

Pubic’s cube

Wow, he looks great for 98

may contain graphic mages

before/after one (1) Lateralus

FINALLY. There’s one big Sword of Damocles widowmaker limb still hanging ominously over the yard until a pro comes out, but I’m DONE. Make no mistake, this pile goes like 10 feet deep. And there were a few more limbs not pictured that went Other Places for various reasons. It’s SO MUCH fucking wood